May life treat you exactly the same way you treat servers, store clerks, senior citizens, children, and animals.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

I let my cat smell every wine I drink so she can get a job as a sommelier and help pay my rent.

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“At your big age” is one of my favorite insults.

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The feminine urge to open a coffee shop that’s also a library, a bakery, and a flower shop.

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Life hack: Confuse your doctor by putting on gloves at the same time he does.

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I hope “be the light you want to see in the world” doesn’t refer to Molotov Cocktails.

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That moment your alarm clock goes off in the morning and you don’t know whether to get dressed or fake an illness.

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You should be allowed to leave work early if you are really in love.

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People that ask Grok “Is this true” are the reason our society is getting dumber by the minute.

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A big shout-out to all the beekeepers. Our unstung heroes.

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I SAID YES!!!!!! after I asked myself if I wanted a breakfast burrito.