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Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡บ has bookmarked:

Ripping the fishnets off my slutty little oranges.

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I drive safer when there’s food in my passenger’s seat than when there’s a person sitting there.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ผ has viewed:

The internet is making people stupid. Not me, though.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡น has downloaded:

Quitting my job to focus on being in love.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has shared:

Sorry, I wasn’t really listening but that’s awesome, unless it isn’t of course.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฏ has copied:

I always sit in the middle stall so I have a bathroom buddy.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ณ has downloaded:

My running speed is very slow because the Discman wasn’t allowed to shake in the past.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ผ has viewed:

I need someone to peer pressure me into doing things.

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I think something’s missing in my lifeโ€ฆ Likeโ€ฆ 2-3 million dollars.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ช has viewed:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my wife some months ago, where would you be hiding?

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Me before grocery shopping: only healthy foods, no impulse buys, I can do this. Me during grocery shopping: they make chocolate filled marshmallows?

Me before grocery shopping: only healthy foods, no impulse buys, I can do this. Me during grocery shopping: they make chocolate filled marshmallows?

Commentary:
"Grocery shopping: where good intentions meet chocolate-filled marshmallows ๐Ÿซ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™‚๏ธ Who can resist a delicious detour down the snack aisle? Just blame it on the 'grocery store temptation'! ๐Ÿ˜…"



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Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has downloaded:

The thing I’ve always found tricky about money is knowing how much I should have.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has viewed:

Yes, I make bad decisions when I’m drunk. But I wouldn’t say that the decisions I make when I’m sober are any better.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฒ has shared:

Wife is temporary. Being the hot EX is forever.

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Just imagine if farting were as contagious as yawning.

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Iโ€™m not alone. I have ants.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has downloaded:

Normalize asking if this is an intervention whenever someone invites you over.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ด has downloaded:

Before I agree to the new year, I wanna read the terms and conditions.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฌ has downloaded:

Iโ€™m upstairs and the food is downstairs. Send help.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ด has shared:

I like to be alone a lot; it’s nothing personal.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has downloaded:

The female brain works like the internet. You can delete something, but it’s never really gone.

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