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Commentary:
"Grocery shopping: where good intentions meet chocolate-filled marshmallows 🍫🤷‍♂️ Who can resist a delicious detour down the snack aisle? Just blame it on the 'grocery store temptation'! 😅"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you don’t have dating allegations with your best friend, you are not bestfriending hard enough.

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2 months ago

allegation, allegations, best, best friend, bestfriending, dating, enough, friend, friendship, hard, humor, relationship
Getting to the age where I’m like, “Oh, hopefully I’ll be dead by then.”

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4 months ago

age, aging, dark, dark humor, dead, getting, humor, middle, middle age, mortality, oh, pessimism, sarcasm, where
The inventor of autocorrect walked into a bar and ordered a bear.

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2 months ago

autocorrect, bar, bear, humor, inventor, joke, technology, wordplay
And where did Mr. Pepper receive his degree from exactly?

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2 months ago

degree, education, exactly, humor, mr., Mr. Pepper, pepper, questioning, where
If you have any questions or concerns please don’t. Hesitate to ask.

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2 months ago

advice, ask, communication, concerns, hesitate, humor, irony, questions
I bought my antidepressants off of Temu and now I glow in the dark.

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2 months ago

antidepressant, dark, glow, health, humor, i, mental, mental health, online, online shopping, shopping, Temu

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on YouTube this month:

I installed a bike rack on my car so my neighbors think I do something else besides drink.

61 shares on YouTube this month:

Childbirth seems like an awful lot of work for an already saturated market.

66 shares on Telegram this month:

The most dangerous drinking game I play, is seeing how long I can go without coffee.

25 shares on YouTube this month:

Old people get so mad when you’re young and tired.

12 shares on Facebook this month:

One minute you’re young and wild, the next minute you’re into air fryers.

100 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

53 shares on Pinterest this month:

Adult friendships are difficult. The people I get on best with never want to leave the house either.

43 shares on Twitch this month:

I love how every website has a “Keep me signed in on this computer” button and it’s just straight up bullshit.

51 shares on X this month:

How did the person who invented the spelling of “banana” decide when to stop?

38 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Touched a tree and accidentally absorbed 400 years of wisdom and 2 squirrel secrets.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

I’ve learned two important things in life, I can’t remember the first one, but the second one is to write everything down.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Babe, would it kill you to meow back?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Desperately searching the dating app settings for an option to turn down the difficulty level.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

There’s never a good place to clip your toenails at the library.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

I was waiting on the universe but the universe was actually waiting on me.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Going out with 38% battery and no boyfriend.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

“It’s been a long week!” Me, on a Tuesday.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

No one is excited to see me in shorts except mosquitoes.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Trying to make sense of other people’s actions will drive you to insanity.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

I’m a big believer in not going to work on your birthday!

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

And for my next trick, I will appear to know what I’m doing.

Breaking via Threads:

It’s never too early to be sad about having to work the next day.

Just landed via WeChat:

I’ve used dark mode so much that I’m physically repulsed by white screens now.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Today’s kids don’t even get chicken pox anymore, they go straight to STDs.

Seen just now on Twitch:

By day I am just a regular loser, by night I am the same loser only it’s nighttime.

Shared recently on Slack:

The healthy food in my fridge should be grateful really. It survives much longer than everything else.

Seen just now on X:

Funny that all this nonsense just stayed in people’s heads before Twitter came along.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Sparkling water tastes like that feeling when your foot falls asleep.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I don’t know who needs to hear this right now, but it’s time to fold the laundry that’s been lying around since last Sunday.

Just shared via Threads:

I used to think the cat was dumb for staring out the window, waiting for birds, but I’d probably stare too, if occasionally a pizza flew by.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Me before grocery shopping: only healthy foods, no impulse buys, I can do this. Me during grocery shopping: they make chocolate filled marshmallows?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If you don’t have dating allegations with your best friend, you are not bestfriending hard enough.

Getting to the age where I’m like, “Oh, hopefully I’ll be dead by then.”

The inventor of autocorrect walked into a bar and ordered a bear.

And where did Mr. Pepper receive his degree from exactly?

If you have any questions or concerns please don’t. Hesitate to ask.

I bought my antidepressants off of Temu and now I glow in the dark.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨