Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Grocery shopping: where good intentions meet chocolate-filled marshmallows 🍫🤷‍♂️ Who can resist a delicious detour down the snack aisle? Just blame it on the 'grocery store temptation'! 😅"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I like driving by myself. I just played the same song 36 times.

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2 months ago

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Do animals have celebrities? Like, do birds all recognize that one bird who sings really well?

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2 months ago

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I hope this email finds you in a well.

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2 months ago

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People should be allowed to leave work early if they want to go see a movie.

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2 months ago

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Some people don’t have a permanent handwriting. It depends on their mood and the pen they use.

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2 months ago

depends, handwriting, humor, mood, pen, people, personality, self-expression
Just saw a piece of jewelry made in the 80s described as “vintage,” so I’ll be laying down the rest of the day.

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2 months ago

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New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on Snapchat this month:

Nobody victim blames more than my oldest son when he’s in trouble for punching his little brother.

59 shares on Twitch this month:

Sucks how every girl I’m interested in is either taken or has good taste in men.

16 shares on TikTok this month:

You misunderstood me. I said I was a “bawler,” not a “baller.” You know, someone who cries a lot.

12 shares on Pinterest this month:

Wild that we could have been foraging for berries and dying off at 33, but we chose this nonsense instead.

88 shares on TikTok this month:

Stereotypes are like mass graves. They’re both offensive ways to lump groups of people together.

78 shares on Facebook this month:

I hate interviewing. Just hire me. I stand on business, for real.

91 shares on X this month:

I love my new crockpot. Now we can wait longer to eat my horrible cooking.

39 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s Friday. Rules don’t apply.

39 shares on Telegram this month:

I hope none of the people I vowed to “help hide a body” ever actually need my help.

26 shares on Instagram this month:

Much like a candle, I was tall when I was young, but I get shorter as I grow old.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

The thing I’ve always found tricky about money is knowing how much I should have.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Yes, I make bad decisions when I’m drunk. But I wouldn’t say that the decisions I make when I’m sober are any better.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Wife is temporary. Being the hot EX is forever.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Just imagine if farting were as contagious as yawning.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

I’m not alone. I have ants.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Normalize asking if this is an intervention whenever someone invites you over.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Before I agree to the new year, I wanna read the terms and conditions.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

I’m upstairs and the food is downstairs. Send help.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

I like to be alone a lot; it’s nothing personal.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

The female brain works like the internet. You can delete something, but it’s never really gone.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on LinkedIn:

Eating spaghetti to forgetti my regretti.

Shared recently on Discord:

I don’t think I’d get married again, but I would like to annoy someone until one of us is dead.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

“The Nightmare Before Christmas” just means, January 1st – December 24th.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

If I ask “What’s your zodiac sign?” it’s either because we’re vibing or you’re getting on my nerves.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I’m of the very strong opinion that sex ed should be taught by a woman 37 weeks into her third pregnancy, while her husband sits scrolling through his phone, and her other two children run wild.

Just landed via X:

All of my problems boil down to me being bad at being alive.

Shared recently on Twitch:

My daughter’s new Bluetooth karaoke mic has suddenly and mysteriously disappeared, and we are all just so, so sad that we can’t find it.

Making waves on X:

Prophecy class has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

Just shared via Threads:

Signed an Executive Order that you have to give me a little forehead kiss.

Spotted on Messenger:

When is a robot gonna take over my job? Please?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Me before grocery shopping: only healthy foods, no impulse buys, I can do this. Me during grocery shopping: they make chocolate filled marshmallows?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I like driving by myself. I just played the same song 36 times.

Do animals have celebrities? Like, do birds all recognize that one bird who sings really well?

I hope this email finds you in a well.

People should be allowed to leave work early if they want to go see a movie.

Some people don’t have a permanent handwriting. It depends on their mood and the pen they use.

Just saw a piece of jewelry made in the 80s described as “vintage,” so I’ll be laying down the rest of the day.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨