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Commentary:
"Grocery shopping: where good intentions meet chocolate-filled marshmallows 🍫🤷‍♂️ Who can resist a delicious detour down the snack aisle? Just blame it on the 'grocery store temptation'! 😅"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

They should invent going outside without people looking at you.

0

2 months ago

activity, freedom, going, going outside, invent, looking, observation, outdoor, outdoor activity, outside, people, personal, personal space, privacy, should, social, social observation, solitude, space
Just as “magic spells” use special rhymes and archaic terms to signal their power, the convoluted language of legalese acts to convey a sense of authority.

0

2 months ago

authority, convoluted, convoluted language, just, language, legalese, magic, magic spell, power, rhyme, sense, signal, special, spell, spells, term, terms
Because of my looks, everyone only wants one thing from me, that I leave them alone.

0

2 months ago

alone, attention, everyone, humor, i, leave, looks, me, only, self-deprecation, thing, wants
If alcohol was the one that was banned instead of weed, then a lot of people would have had memories of hungry, stoned fathers instead of angry, drunk ones.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, anger, angry, ban, drunk, father, hunger, hungry, lot, memory, ones, people, stoned, weed
That moment when you cut into a seedless watermelon and find out it’s only allegedly seedless.

0

2 months ago

cut, expectation, fruit, humor, moment, seed, surprise, watermelon
How does pasta water know when you’re not looking?

0

2 months ago

cooking, food, humor, know, looking, mystery, observation, pasta, water

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on Telegram this month:

I want to live in a world where the plural of moose is mooses.

62 shares on YouTube this month:

Being able to notice that a celebrity unfollowed another celebrity is some seriously jobless behaviour.

71 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I respectfully ignore DMs because I promise you, I am not your soulmate.

70 shares on Threads this month:

Have you ever apologized to your car after you hit a pothole?

23 shares on Reddit this month:

Sat at a stop sign waiting for it to turn green, if you’re wondering how I’m doing today.

21 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m so hungry, I could eat my own cooking.

96 shares on YouTube this month:

Just saw a bird run across the street if you were wondering if anyone else is wasting their gifts.

44 shares on TikTok this month:

Broke my work phone. I can’t talk on it anymore. I should have done this a long time ago.

19 shares on TikTok this month:

Yes, hello, I’d like to exchange my generational trauma for generational wealth, please.

83 shares on Telegram this month:

So tomorrow is Monday again? I can’t keep living like this.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

I just really hope The Weeknd’s real name isn’t Mnday.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun not to be able to open that drawer.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the job of 3-5 people.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Parenthood is so crazy. We’re really out here getting bullied by the people we made.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

I’m not an idiot anymore, universe, please stop with the lessons.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

If someone wants to spend time with you, they’ll let you know. Get rid of those people.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

The person who invented butter really understood humans.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

The worst thing you can do when you notice your kids are playing nicely together is telling them that they’re playing nicely together.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Y’all can keep the nonchalant ones — I want mine weak in the knees about me.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

My dog is quite vain. Whenever the doorbell rings, he thinks it’s for him.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

The difference between me and Superman is that he has super vision, and I need supervision.

Just landed via TikTok:

My body is a vessel for various dips.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I can’t believe we became the adults in the most unaffordable period in history.

Going bananas on Facebook:

They say we learn from our mistakes. That’s why I’m making as many as possible… I’ll be a genius soon.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Can drunk people actually not control their actions or is it just an excuse to do some crazy stuff?

Freshly posted on X:

They say dress for the job you want, so I walk around dressed like Darth Vader.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I just hit the back arrow on a website, and it took me to a page that said, “Before you leave.” No. I already made the decision.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

God: “You’re all a bunch of bastards and I should never have created you.”

Just landed via YouTube:

Is he trying to pronounce “charcuterie” or is he having a stroke?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Me before grocery shopping: only healthy foods, no impulse buys, I can do this. Me during grocery shopping: they make chocolate filled marshmallows?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

They should invent going outside without people looking at you.

Just as “magic spells” use special rhymes and archaic terms to signal their power, the convoluted language of legalese acts to convey a sense of authority.

Because of my looks, everyone only wants one thing from me, that I leave them alone.

If alcohol was the one that was banned instead of weed, then a lot of people would have had memories of hungry, stoned fathers instead of angry, drunk ones.

That moment when you cut into a seedless watermelon and find out it’s only allegedly seedless.

How does pasta water know when you’re not looking?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨