Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

And to my children I leave my collection of tote bags and gift bags.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Adulthood will turn Gmail into part of your social media routine.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

I’ll rewind a movie, get on my phone, and miss the same part.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

I really understand why boomers text with ellipses between everything… it feels so good…

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Don’t rush into a relationship. Be friends first. Maybe they have hotter friends. Thank me later.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

The worst part of a fender bender is having to get out of your car and meet a new person.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

I don’t mind pulling your cart — I’ve been chasing the carrot anyway, and it’s in the same direction.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

The problem is I am always the problem.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Nice tots you got there. Be a shame if someone tatered em.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

People who own banana costumes will wear that shit to anything.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,571

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

Egg nog was invented in Germany back in 1816 when Baron von Heldebrandt reportedly said “Hey guys, let’s get this custard drunk!”

Freshly posted on X:

Current situation: lying in bed, trying to manifest breakfast.

Spreading quickly via X:

Before marrying someone, listen long and hard to the sounds of their chewing, because that’s the soundtrack to the rest of your life.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

More candlelight, less gaslight, babe.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Sometimes somebody will share something from way back in my timeline, and I’ll think, “Oh God, what all did they see to get there?”

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Date night idea: fight another couple.

Going viral on Facebook:

I miss you (the money I spent).

Going bananas on Telegram:

Shade coming from a tree bearing no fruit could never phase me. Carry on.

Just shared via Facebook:

Keeping my mouth shut is usually not enough to avoid an argument with my husband. I also have to deactivate the subtitle function on my face.

Shared recently on Instagram:

A drone, but for seeing which fast food drive-thrus have the shortest line.

Me summer vacation planning: I’m going to Europe. Bank account: You’re going camping.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Me imagining a sunset in Paris, while my wallet is packing marshmallows for a tent adventure 😂🏕️💸"

account, bank, bank account, budgeting, camping, Europe, financial, going, humor, me, planning, summer, summer vacation, travel, travel planning, vacation

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Here I am, block me like a hurricane.

0

2 months ago

am, block, blocking, confidence, here, humor, hurricane, i, me, media, metaphor, playful, sarcasm, social, social media
One day you said w00t for the last time, and didn’t even realize.

0

2 months ago

day, even, humor, internet, internet slang, last, last time, nostalgia, realization, realize, said, slang, time, w00t
Yesterday I went to a fight and a baseball game broke out.

0

2 months ago

activity, baseball, broke, fight, game, humor, i, joke, sports, unexpected, yesterday
At some point in life, you graduate from Family Guy to American Dad.

0

2 months ago

adult, adult humor, American, American Dad, animation, cartoon, comedy, dad, family, Family Guy, graduate, guy, humor, life, life stage, point, show, stage, TV, TV Show
Corporate life requires an ass-licking skill set I simply wasn’t born with.

0

4 months ago

ass-licking, born, corporate, corporate life, culture, humor, i, life, office, office culture, sarcasm, set, simply, skill, skill set, workplace
Mind if I crawl into your DMs and stay there for a while?

0

2 months ago

communication, crawl, digital, digital communication, DM, DMs, flirting, humor, i, media, messaging, mind, playful, romance, social, social media, stay, while

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on TikTok this month:

There’s nothing worse than being in public and you touch something that shouldn’t be sticky and it is.

89 shares on Slack this month:

I am writing a book about reverse psychology. Please don’t buy it.

19 shares on Reddit this month:

Pomegranates are worth the mess.

68 shares on Telegram this month:

Hair is washed. I am finally lovable and capable of loving again.

37 shares on Twitch this month:

I’ve been in a bad mood since like 2010.

31 shares on Discord this month:

“This too shall pass!” Okay, but like, when exactly?

60 shares on X this month:

Wife asked if I could stop singing Wonderwall. I said maybe…

77 shares on Threads this month:

This year for Thanksgiving, I’ll probably bring what I brought last year… shame upon the family.

67 shares on Pinterest this month:

Welcome to your fifties. Saturday Night Fever now means lots of rest, cold medicine, and chicken noodle soup.

71 shares on Snapchat this month:

Pitching a sitcom where all the top people running a major city have been arrested and by chain of command the person in charge is now a librarian.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

If I’ve offended you with my posts, I humbly apologize, I honestly did not think you could read.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

I’m opening a secret ice cream club called The Inside Scoop.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

That was a nice hour long Twitter scroll. Feel much worse as always. See you guys tomorrow.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

You know who’s gonna love you in the end? Your dog.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

I know it’s traditional to start work at 9, but I think we could lower that age to 8.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

The single star on Texas’ flag is actually a review.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Sometimes I say something so embarrassing I even impress myself.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

I have a condition that prevents me from dieting. It’s called being hungry.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

I’ve used dark mode so much that I’m physically repulsed by white screens now.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Oops, I think I’ve had a little too much to think.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

“Dairy Queen” is actually the perfect drag name.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Harmonicas are basically for people who like to hear music while they spit.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Europeans read a lot because their television shows suck.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Yes, I was behind the DJ booth, but only as a cultural anthropologist.

Making waves on Telegram:

It’s so funny how every true crime documentary eventually devolves into a story about how the police botched the entire investigation.

Trending via Telegram:

If I say, “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared peer-reviewed research, data, and charts, and I will destroy you.

Making waves on YouTube:

I don’t understand why it isn’t socially acceptable to choose to be nocturnal. The angry hot sky ball is gone, my internet is fast, everyone finally shut up, what’s not to like.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Women in movies look so beautiful when they sleep. Meanwhile, I’m tossing and turning all night like a forgotten 7-Eleven hot dog.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Please don’t interrupt me when I’m trying to overhear something.

Just shared via Messenger:

Extrovert self made too many plans and now introvert self is pissed.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Me summer vacation planning: I’m going to Europe. Bank account: You’re going camping.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Here I am, block me like a hurricane.

One day you said w00t for the last time, and didn’t even realize.

Yesterday I went to a fight and a baseball game broke out.

At some point in life, you graduate from Family Guy to American Dad.

Corporate life requires an ass-licking skill set I simply wasn’t born with.

Mind if I crawl into your DMs and stay there for a while?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨