Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

People who live in glass houses should be put on a watchlist.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Your nose is in the middle of your face because it is the scenter.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

When someone asks me if my twins are natural, I tell them no they’re robots.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Every time I blink, it’s Monday again. I can’t live like this.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Gonna eat birthday cake all day because it’s someone’s birthday out there, and we’re about to celebrate together, stranger.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

“Can’t wait till I get older” was the dumbest thing I ever said.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

ASAP can also mean as slow as possible.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

If I was a mythical creature, I’d be a Sighclops.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Just saw the fattest bird. This guy must get up early as hell.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

615 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,208

Funny Quotes Topics

17,340

Funny Quotes Images

15,208

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,897

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

Gonna take the kids to the planetarium so they can watch YouTube on their phones.

Spotted on Telegram:

“What do you do for a living?” I do my best.

Just landed via Reddit:

He called me delusional, but I think he meant delicious.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

A babysitter is a teenager who acts like an adult while the adults go out to act like teenagers.

Seen just now on Twitch:

King-sized beds: Because you both want to sleep on the same mattress, but not in the same zip code.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

At my age, “getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what you came in there for.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

Seen just now on Messenger:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you are really in love.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Pesto is just an Italian word that means “produced by pounding”, so in a way we are all pesto.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

You can get addicted to a certain kind of swagness.

Men used to send love letters in the middle of wars, and now they think reassurance is too much effort.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the good ol' days when dodging bullets was easier than sending a text! 📜📱🤣

communication, effort, humor, letter, letters, love, love letter, men, middle, much, nostalgia, reassurance, relationship, send, think, too, used, war, wars

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

So does everybody have a collection of grocery bags that you keep inside of a grocery bag?

0

2 months ago

bag, bags, collection, everyday, everyday life, funny observation, grocery, grocery bag, humor, inside, keep, life, observation, organization
I just need to lie down for a couple of years.

0

2 months ago

couple, exhaustion, humor, i, just, lie, lie down, need, procrastination, rest, year’s
Back to the Future and chill?

0

1 month ago

back, Back to the Future, chill, culture, date, future, humor, movie, pop, pop culture
I don’t make mistakes, I date them.

0

2 months ago

date, dating, humor, i, mistake, relationship, self-deprecation
In hell, you wait for a ‘verify your email address’ email that never arrives.

0

2 months ago

address, arrif, email, frustration, hell, joke, never, technology, verify, wait
Interpretive dance is the best way to answer stupid questions.

0

2 months ago

answer, art, art form, best, communication, dance, form, funny response, humor, interpretive, interpretive dance, question, questions, response, stupid, stupid question

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on TikTok this month:

Canadian Thanksgiving isn’t the same day as Thanksgiving in the US because Canadians already put gravy on everything every day.

72 shares on Instagram this month:

If you see me in public, it’s AI.

25 shares on Telegram this month:

Text her when the moon looks pretty.

41 shares on Instagram this month:

Intermittent fasting is how I drive, not how I eat.

41 shares on Pinterest this month:

It used be called “talking to yourself” but the new term for it is “podcasting”.

64 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I am a fool everyday, I don’t need a holiday for it.

80 shares on Facebook this month:

No matter how weird things seem to get, there’s always an episode of The Twilight Zone that was eerily similar.

85 shares on Twitch this month:

All we needed to be happy in the 90s was music and cigarettes.

31 shares on Pinterest this month:

I know I just ate a snack, but I could really use a snack.

89 shares on Telegram this month:

Y’all ever feel like your mouth is stupid but your mind is smart? Like you’re intelligent but you can’t express it when you’re speaking? It’s so frustrating.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

We need a word for a type of person who spends all their time working to live in a city so they can be near cool things, but they don’t actually like going out.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

I’d be a horrible stalker… I’m always late.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Hey girl, are you a burger? Because I love you.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

I think we all need to go out into an empty field and just scream for about an hour.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Excuse me sir, are you going to finish that existential crisis?

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Quitting my job to focus on watching YouTube.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Crazy that caffeine has no short or long-term negative side effects. Just a super drug from God.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Gordon Ramsay is only funny because he’s not talking to me like that.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Some of you need to clean your room before you take a selfie.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

It’s almost time to put winter tires on the struggle bus.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

I could never commit gun violence. The only things I know how to reload are my pill caddy and the batteries for the remote.

Going bananas on Facebook:

“Easy like Sunday morning” is something people with no kids say.

Making waves on TikTok:

If I’m too quiet you can rest assured I’m in the process of planning my sweet escape or your equally sweet demise.

Going viral on Telegram:

I deserve a dragon after all I’ve been through.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Hello, I’m a professor in a movie. I only reach the main point of my lecture right as class is ending. Then I yell at students about the reading / homework as they leave.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Anyone know how to get an air guitar out of a vacuum?

Freshly posted on Messenger:

What would you do if you were in my situation right now? The situation being that I’m drunk.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Had some plain yogurt with protein powder in it for breakfast, and not only is it high in protein and very filling, it’s also disgusting.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

The first five days after the weekend are the worst.

Just landed via WeChat:

I hate it when what’s wrong asks me what’s wrong.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Men used to send love letters in the middle of wars, and now they think reassurance is too much effort.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

So does everybody have a collection of grocery bags that you keep inside of a grocery bag?

I just need to lie down for a couple of years.

Back to the Future and chill?

I don’t make mistakes, I date them.

In hell, you wait for a ‘verify your email address’ email that never arrives.

Interpretive dance is the best way to answer stupid questions.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨