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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

There are rumors that someone came down the chimney last night. This is preposterous. I would have lost my mind.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the last twelve digits of Pi.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

You unfollow me because you are afraid of falling in love with me. I know!

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

I will unfriend, uncousin, unco-worker, unfollow, unfamily any draining soul real quick.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

When a man gets married he has a moral obligation to scare his wife when he sneezes.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Why would anyone ever jump OUT of a cake?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

It’s important to get out of the house every once and a while to remind yourself of why you don’t go out.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

“Your boos mean nothing to me. I’ve seen what you cheer.” Is a goated doctrine. If Rick and Morty gave us anything, it gave us that.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

I am under no obligation to make sense to you.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Getting a nose ring, so I don’t lose my keys.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,451

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Twitch:

I’m so grateful when people tell me to drive safe, cause then I remember not to drive off that cliff.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Pugs look like regular dogs that ran into a door at full speed.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Hate Google’s Gemini. If I wanted to get misinformation from a Gemini, I’d talk to my mother.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

You want me to sit in the back seat? The thing that killed JFK?

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok.” Well, I just made some shit up, and people believe me because I’m well read and use big words.

Spotted on Twitch:

Adulting: unlocking life’s mysteries, one therapy session at a time.

Making waves on Slack:

“It could be drugs,” I tell myself as I buy more books.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

You never realize how many curse words are in a song till you play it for your family.

Just landed via Reddit:

When you see a squirrel, you’re bound to say, “Awww, a squirrel!”

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

“I asked ChatGPT”. I confided in Amazon. I confessed to McDonald’s. I have an inside joke with Exxon Mobil.

Men used to send love letters in the middle of wars, and now they think reassurance is too much effort.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
Ah, the good ol' days when dodging bullets was easier than sending a text! 📜📱🤣

communication, effort, humor, letter, letters, love, love letter, men, middle, much, nostalgia, reassurance, relationship, send, think, too, used, war, wars

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Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on YouTube this month:

“My family doesn’t have a black sheep,” I say, while everyone avoids eye contact.

63 shares on X this month:

Your 20s are for trying soup, making new soups, and discussing soup or soup related topics.

92 shares on YouTube this month:

Work meetings would be a lot more fun if they took place in a giant IKEA ball pit.

34 shares on Facebook this month:

If bugs could talk, they would probably say things like, “What the bug?”

53 shares on WeChat this month:

So many people say they love their Roomba, but you never see them set it free.

70 shares on Discord this month:

Every morning I announce that Im going for a jog, but then I don’t go. It’s a running gag.

96 shares on Discord this month:

All strapless bras need to be taken off the shelves. A total recall. We do not have the technology yet.

17 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Catching me in person is rare. I move like a ghost.

18 shares on Snapchat this month:

Stop wasting your money on beauty products. The secret to looking young is to wear a baseball cap with a propeller on it.

35 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Grok, is this true? Grok, am I original? Grok, am I the only one? Grok, am I sexual?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

It’s ok to not have a Valentine on Valentine’s Day. I didn’t have a groundhog on Groundhog’s Day.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

I miss the days when “What’s for dinner” wasn’t my problem.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Three serious exes is the right amount before you meet your spouse. You need one truly evil one, one normal one, and one situationship, and then you’ve basically experienced all dating has to offer.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Sex is cool but have you ever had a king size bed all to yourself.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

McDonald’s will “anything else” you to death. Can you wait a McMinute?

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Why is everything 10x better at night? Driving, showering, eating, vibing to music, watching Netflix… phone calls. Like, everything.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

I love the smell of freshly brewed delusions in the morning.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Hide and seek, except it’s my husband searching for where he last put his pants.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

I’ll be like “it is what it is” and almost vomit from anxiety.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Don’t ask me why, but the older you get, the more you love coffee.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

“I’m interested in the divorce rate for couples who sleep in queen versus king beds.”

Going viral on YouTube:

Instead of being constantly irritated by other people’s flaws, I’ve decided to become more self-absorbed.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Get off the apps. Sleep with someone in your friend group. Add an awkward tension every time you hang out with them.

Going viral on X:

My chess strategy is eating one of your pieces every time you look away.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Roman soldiers are all like “I’m going to fight you in this short yet tasteful leather skirt.”

Shared recently on Snapchat:

With my staggering 91% survival rate, you’d be a fool to hire another dog sitter.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Slowly descending into madness. Anyone want anything?

Just shared via Pinterest:

Wine drunk doesn’t even make itself known. You’re just relaxed, and then, all of a sudden, you feel sexier.

Going viral on Discord:

You know what goes great with helping your kid with math homework? Vodka!

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Men used to send love letters in the middle of wars, and now they think reassurance is too much effort.

Trying to squeeze in more nothingness today, but my schedule is already packed with procrastination!

If they don’t look at you like you’re magic, disappear like Houdini.

“Your sock has a hole in it!” Yeah, no shit, that’s how I get my foot in there.

I love that cats slap the shit out of everything they can’t understand.

Getting a nose ring, so I don’t lose my keys.

Schedule your appointment early in the month before your dentist starts fretting about their next boat payment.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Men used to send love letters in the middle of wars, and now they think reassurance is too much effort.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Trying to squeeze in more nothingness today, but my schedule is already packed with procrastination!

If they don’t look at you like you’re magic, disappear like Houdini.

“Your sock has a hole in it!” Yeah, no shit, that’s how I get my foot in there.

I love that cats slap the shit out of everything they can’t understand.

Getting a nose ring, so I don’t lose my keys.

Schedule your appointment early in the month before your dentist starts fretting about their next boat payment.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨