Might start signing off emails with ‘well, I hope you’re happy’

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Going to therapy is like having someone walk around your brain and going “ohhhh, this is how you’re living?!”

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

I don’t think I’ve ever made the right amount of pasta.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Another Netflix price increase? Guess we’re only chilling now.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

December. The month at work where everything is January’s problem.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

My computer: Consider changing your password. Me: Consider fighting me in the streets.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out… I mean, don’t they have thoughts?

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Yes, hello, I’d like to exchange my generational trauma for generational wealth, please.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

My new coffee table book, “Accidental Screenshots,” is available for pre-order now.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Accidentally falling asleep is always the best sleep — and that’s so irritating.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

People say opposites attract, but I say find a partner who’s deranged in the same ways you are and double your capacity to be annoying.