Mouse in a conference call: hold on, I’m gonna put you on squeakerphone.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

When someone asks me why I’m leaving the party early, I say “I’m late for an appointment with my pajamas.”

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Legos are too expensive nowadays. They should go back to costing as much as they did when my parents paid for them.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

I miss phone booths. We used to train our immune system in those things.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

An easy way to check if you’re attractive: send a “Hey” DM and see if they reply.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

I travel like I’m rich, then eat like I’m broke.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Oh, I have Christmas spirit. The question is: Do I mix it with coke or do I drink it neat?

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera!

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Might put on a bikini and run through your DMs.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Sometimes a girl has to delete all the apps on her phone and not speak to anyone for a week to find true happiness.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

My lawyer dropped his briefcase and nunchuks fell out.