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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Let the example of my fluke success guide nearly all of you to crushing disappointment.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

A song that hits so hard it makes you want a cigarette.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

At this point making life choices involves liquor and a dart board.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

I make her eyes roll back. Not in bed though. I’m just annoying.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Parents be like “don’t believe everything you see on the internet” then believe everything they see on Facebook.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

I can’t date until the curse is lifted.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Odd people reviewing a dessert: It’s not too sweet which is what I like.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Females be cheating in healthy relationships, but are faithful in toxic ones.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

After all these years, Jude Law has finally noticed me and responded to my love letters. Something about staying 500 feet away. I’m getting it framed.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

New COVID variant tries to sell you an extended auto warranty.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,635

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I’m sorry, but when you call me ‘batshit crazy’ it’s almost starting to sound like you think it’s a bad thing!

Breaking via Messenger:

Does anyone else run a used match under water before disposing of it because you’re afraid it still has some fire left in it, or are you normal?

Going viral on WeChat:

Got banned from the sauna at my gym for saying “steam me up, Scotty” a few too many times.

Trending via Instagram:

Life hack: Allow yourself 8–12 hours of alone time every morning to prepare for the day.

Going viral on Reddit:

Most people don’t listen at all, they just wait until they can continue talking.

Live now on Reddit:

Don’t tell me that everything was better in the past. I was there.

Live now on YouTube:

My neighbor is having some kind of party and didn’t invite me. I guess I have to call the cops again.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

How many cups of coffee is OK to have every day? Is it eight? I’m pretty sure it’s eight.

Spotted on Instagram:

At my age I don’t sleep, I nap between pee breaks.

My body can’t handle the stress of loving anyone romantically, ever.

1 day ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about the humorous struggle of romantic stress, expressing playful emotional overwhelm.

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Commentary:
Sounds like your heart's on a permanent staycation! 🏖️💖🤯

anyone, body, emotion, ever, handle, humor, love, loving, relationship, romantic, romantic relationship, self-deprecation, stress

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

This coffee is not coffeeing the way I need it to be coffeeing.

2 weeks ago

beverage, caffeine, coffee, frustration, humor, i, morning, need, sarcasm
I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.

2 weeks ago

hate, home, i, job, jobs, me, much, once, people, quitting, vlog, watch, wish, wishing, work
Sometimes you just gotta say LOL and move on.

5 days ago

coping, humor, just, laughter, lesson, life, life lesson, lightheartedness, lol, move, move on, positivity, say, sometimes
Saving up ketchup packets in the fridge so I can one day open my own restaurant.

2 weeks ago

creativity, day, dream, food, fridge, funny idea, humor, i, idea, ketchup, open, own, packets, restaurant, saving
I can do anything, as long as there’s a looming deadline and serious consequences.

2 days ago

anything, consequence, consequences, deadline, humor, i, looming, motivation, procrastination, productivity, serious
I put the hot in psychotic.

2 weeks ago

confidence, hot, humor, i, personality, psychotic, put, self-deprecation, wit

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Threads this month:

I love reading a menu. Look at all this stuff I want to eat.

69 shares on YouTube this month:

Please don’t ever speak to me about math. I’ve moved on.

68 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t think the makers of protein powder have ever had chocolate.

100 shares on Discord this month:

Remember the good old days when you didn’t have to wonder if the person messaging you was a bot or not?

84 shares on Twitch this month:

Explaining myself is too much work, just judge me.

21 shares on YouTube this month:

What can I buy my wife for Valentine’s Day that finally proves to her once and for all that I have absolutely no idea what she likes or who she is?

27 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m scared to go to an art museum, because what if they decide to keep me?

90 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t want to brag or anything, but I can still fit in the earrings I wore in high school.

40 shares on Reddit this month:

The healthy food in my fridge should be grateful really. It survives much longer than everything else.

52 shares on YouTube this month:

Off to my crying appointment (therapy).

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Getting a wax is wild, like you really just be bust open talking to the lady like it’s nothing.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Technically mixed martial arts can include tickle fighting.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

I’ve added lunges to my workout routine. It’s a big step forward.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

I might look calm, but in my head I’ve punched you in the face three times.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Too self-aware for foreplay. I’m so sorry… Take that nurse costume off. I know you didn’t go to med school.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up, we had to manually roll up our car windows.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Every day I ask ChatGPT if it knows where my keys are and if it ever knows the answer, I’m suing everybody.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

I read that Miley Cyrus will be starring in a remake of Silence of the Lambs. She’ll be playing Hannibal Montannibal.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Don’t rush me, I’m still deciding whether I’ll be productive or not today!

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

I love my bed so much, what a place.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Is ice cream for dinner a thing, because ice cream for dinner should be be a thing.

Just shared via Twitch:

Researchers have discovered that birthdays are healthy. People who have more grow older.

Going viral on WeChat:

Maximizing rent value by turning ‘homebody’ into an Olympic sport!

Going bananas on Facebook:

I hate when someone you love says mean things like, “It’s time to wake up.”

Spotted on Reddit:

Wild how we don’t get a public holiday for Wrestlemania, but okay.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

Breaking via Telegram:

Just because your parents planned you doesn’t mean you weren’t a mistake.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Nobody has ever been given a cheeseburger and been upset about it.

Going viral on Messenger:

Another day of waking up cute instead of wealthy, so I guess I have to go to work.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My body can’t handle the stress of loving anyone romantically, ever.

Keep the laugh going 😂

This coffee is not coffeeing the way I need it to be coffeeing.

I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.

Sometimes you just gotta say LOL and move on.

Saving up ketchup packets in the fridge so I can one day open my own restaurant.

I can do anything, as long as there’s a looming deadline and serious consequences.

I put the hot in psychotic.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨