Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Can someone write me a note to get out of being a responsible adult?

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Somebody needs to get my shit together.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

When I write “I hope this email finds you well” I’m referring to the email’s skills in tracking you down.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

It’s so much easier to suggest solutions when you don’t know too much about the problem.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

A haunted house, but every room is just learning more about Will & Jada.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Word on the street is that the fire in your heart is out.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

My soulmate probably seen my posts and deleted me.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

My dog and I play this game, it’s called “What Are You Chewing On Now?” It goes both ways.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

I hate it when I’m singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t turn into a disaster.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,629

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Lego better be trying to cure child cancer with how much their shit cost.

Spotted on Threads:

Ain’t no girls in my messages, just a bunch of verification codes.

Spotted on Slack:

Eternal Sunshine of the Thotless Grind.

Live now on Slack:

A genie that does my bidding would fix me.

Live now on Instagram:

Don’t buy roses for her, buy chicken nuggets. Show her you really care.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Kinda rude that your reward for struggling through stuff is still dying at the end anyway.

Just landed via Telegram:

Hairless cats look like the devil screwed up a possession.

Making waves on YouTube:

If you’re 20, please stop saying you’re tired. I have bananas older than you.

Breaking via Telegram:

Sorry I was late, I was disassociating in the shower.

Spotted on Twitch:

I wanna date one of those guys who really loves their girlfriend.

My ex texted me saying, “Hey, I miss you,” so I replied, “Sorry, I have zero bars — the past doesn’t have good reception.”

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Oops, looks like you're trying to connect to a forgotten network! 📵🚫 #NoSignalInThePast"

breakup, communication, ex, good, humor, i, me, miss, past, reception, reply, saying, sorry, technology, text, zero

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“Stand up for yourself!” Girl, I have low iron.

0

2 months ago

girl, health, humor, i, iron, low, low iron, self-advocacy, stand, stand-up, yourself
When my husband says he’ll just be a minute, I know I have enough time to watch an entire television series, paint the house, or go on a quest.

0

2 months ago

expectations, hell, house, humor, husband, i, just, know, minute, paint, procrastination, quest, relationship, series, sery, television, time, watch
Sorry, I can’t tonight. I’m busy taking things personally.

0

3 months ago

apology, busy, emotion, excuse, humor, i, personal, sarcasm, sorry, taking, things, tonight
Yes, we absolutely can push our meeting to sometime after the new year, or mid-March, or the year after next, or never.

0

4 weeks ago

absolutely, after, delay, humor, management, meeting, never, new, next, procrastination, push, sarcasm, scheduling, time, time management, year, yes
Some things are better left unsaid, unless you’re on X.

0

2 months ago

better, communication, humor, left, media, platform, secret, social, social media, things, unsaid, x
Every time you give someone the benefit, they deliver the doubt.

0

2 months ago

benefit, cynicism, doubt, every, expectations, give, humor, irony, relationships, someone, time, trust

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I started calling the new guy at work “Grok” because he thinks he knows everything.

52 shares on TikTok this month:

Netflix & by yourself.

56 shares on Discord this month:

My favorite pastime is staying up way later than I should and complaining the next day about how tired I am.

55 shares on YouTube this month:

I have some cake and now I’m eating it too. Not seeing the problem here.

43 shares on Reddit this month:

How do you tell someone that you will probably end up marrying them, but in a casual way?

66 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t care if I’m standing in the window, if I said I ain’t home, I ain’t home.

48 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t care if my parents are disappointed in me, I’m not impressed by them either.

15 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t like who I become when I’m watching someone Google something less efficiently than I would myself.

92 shares on Telegram this month:

Replying to all emails with “ya think?”.

47 shares on WeChat this month:

People don’t have demonically glowing red eyes in photographs like they used to.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

For Valentine’s Day, I’m gift-wrapping a shirt my husband hasn’t worn in years. It’s the thought that counts—and technically, I thought of it twice.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Kids today have it much easier. When I was growing up and something bad happened, we had to go outside and spread our misinformation in person.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Unfortunately, I am not nonchalant, I will set myself on fire.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

A fun thing to do at work is call in sick and stay home.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Bro, you’re fine. You just need an impossible sequence of events to play out in perfect order against all odds and you’ll be fine.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

They should let you spend one night in a house before you buy/rent it, just to make sure it’s haunted.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Apparently, responding to a wedding invitation with “maybe next time” is wrong. I know that now.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Please pray for my daughter, who had to empty the dishwasher when she “just did this yesterday and she’s tired.”

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

I’m eating sandwiches you haven’t heard of in jeans you can’t pronounce.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

My wife screamed “you haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?!” I was taken aback, what a weird way to start a conversation.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I’ve never used a semicolon with 100% confidence.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

If onion powder is dehydrated onions blitzed into powder, how much onion powder would I need to consume to have eaten a whole onion?

Seen just now on Reddit:

3 friends is enough. 1 for the movie theater, 1 for drinks and apps, 1 for texting concerning mental health information.

Going viral on Slack:

Your call is really important to us but first enjoy this clarinet number for the next seventy five minutes.

Seen just now on X:

Here’s what I’ve learned since I’ve been on social media: I’m not nearly as disturbed as I thought I was.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Standing on a scale and thinking: so much wisdom and inner beauty can’t be light.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Getting older is realizing how great doing nothing is.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Parallel parking: where true relationships are tested!

Spotted on WeChat:

Spent the day decorating the house for Christmas and my wife spent the day re-decorating the house for Christmas.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Them: Money doesn’t bring happiness. Me: Pass the money over here, I like to be sad.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My ex texted me saying, “Hey, I miss you,” so I replied, “Sorry, I have zero bars — the past doesn’t have good reception.”

Related Funny Posts 🤝

“Stand up for yourself!” Girl, I have low iron.

When my husband says he’ll just be a minute, I know I have enough time to watch an entire television series, paint the house, or go on a quest.

Sorry, I can’t tonight. I’m busy taking things personally.

Yes, we absolutely can push our meeting to sometime after the new year, or mid-March, or the year after next, or never.

Some things are better left unsaid, unless you’re on X.

Every time you give someone the benefit, they deliver the doubt.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨