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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

“Who does she think she is?” Well, it appears she is someone living her life unconcerned with who you think she is.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

I’m not crazy, I’m just mentally spicy.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

AI could never steal company time the way I do.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Scrolling… good take… bad take… nothing take… cyberbullying… beautiful woman.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

I have money, then I don’t have money, it all happens so fast!

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Bruschetta is 80% delicious and 20% mess.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Don’t talk to me unless you are a ham sandwich.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,958

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

Take my advice, I’m not using it.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I’m ready for a new relationship. My past is buried in the backyard, to fertilize the tomatoes.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

Making waves on Pinterest:

Dear recipe websites. I don’t need your life story. Just give me the recipe.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

This year has been the perfect blend between me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Might make a living will because I don’t want my family deciding whether to pull the plug. My dad has a long history of being against wasting electricity.

Trending via Snapchat:

I’m basically the human version of tangled up Christmas lights.

My ex texted me saying, “Hey, I miss you,” so I replied, “Sorry, I have zero bars — the past doesn’t have good reception.”

1 month ago

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Commentary:
"Oops, looks like you're trying to connect to a forgotten network! 📵🚫 #NoSignalInThePast"

breakup, communication, ex, good, humor, i, me, miss, past, reception, reply, saying, sorry, technology, text, zero

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

We can do things two ways. My way or the right way.

1 month ago
choice, decision, funny quip, humor, quip, right, right way, suggestion, things, ways
Onesies are amazing till you have to really pee in the middle of the night then you question all your life’s decisions.

1 month ago
amazing, clothing, comfort, decision, humor, life, life decision, night, onesy, pee, practicality, question, sleepwear, struggle
My therapist is so lucky. I’m like a Netflix Original that pays her to watch.

1 month ago
entertainment, humor, Netflix, original, pay, self-awareness, therapist, therapy, watch
I believe in you. I also believe in Bigfoot so don’t get too excited.

1 month ago
adventure, belief, believe, Bigfoot, excited, excitement, humor, i, skepticism, too
What, and I cannot stress this enough, day is it.

1 month ago
confusion, date, day, enough, humor, i, procrastination, stress, time
The final level of being smart is just pretending you don’t know anything to make your life easier.

1 month ago
anything, being, cleverness, easier, final, hack, humor, intelligence, just, know, level, life, life hack, pretending, smart

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

It’s so cold outside I saw a gangster pull his pants up and walk stiffly.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

If stores want to accurately display clothes for people over 40, the mannequins should be laying on a couch.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

I passed my genetic engineering exam with flying koalas.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

When I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean accountable.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

The true horror genre: my old Facebook statuses.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Boyfriend hasn’t accepted my LinkedIn request yet. He doesn’t want to connect. He doesn’t want to build.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

I made you snort laugh, so we’re going out, right?

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via X:

Haunted Houses this year are just gonna have the news on.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I’m not athletic, but I’m good at jumping to conclusions.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Your childhood wasn’t complete unless you were chased by a dog… or a goat… or even worse, a chicken.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Imagine you’re on jury duty and the courtroom sketch artist draws stink lines above you.

Going viral on Discord:

Somethіng wrong іn your lіfe? There’s a nap for that.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Obituaries should have clickbait titles.

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Activity Log ✨

My ex texted me saying, “Hey, I miss you,” so I replied, “Sorry, I have zero bars — the past doesn’t have good reception.”

We can do things two ways. My way or the right way.

Onesies are amazing till you have to really pee in the middle of the night then you question all your life’s decisions.

My therapist is so lucky. I’m like a Netflix Original that pays her to watch.

I believe in you. I also believe in Bigfoot so don’t get too excited.

What, and I cannot stress this enough, day is it.

The final level of being smart is just pretending you don’t know anything to make your life easier.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I decided to be me and now we have a problem.

Lawyers should get walk-up songs in court like how wrestlers do.

Me: “I should treat myself to something.” My bank account: “Dream on.”

I wasn’t sure why the doctor prescribed LSD for my constipation, until I saw a dragon and shit myself.

The word Ohio looks like a tractor.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Work beers should be a daily thing.

I want to sit and read, take a nap, and snack. Basically, I want to be in kindergarten.

I’m a work in progress that hasn’t made much progress.

I don’t give people directions. What if no one wants them there?

If we’ve got the technology to make heated car seats, then where the hell are the seats that automatically cool down in the summer? Make it happen, nerds.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I want to sleep but my brain won’t stop talking to itself.

I remember when the only in-flight movie choices were either you watched or you didn’t.

Too many toilets have automatically flushed underneath me for me not to have reservations about self-driving cars.

According to a recent study, women who are a little overweight live longer than men who mention it.

At my age, I’m more frightened of a hip break than a heartbreak.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

That depressing moment when you pull up to work and the building is not engulfed in flames.

We’re living in increasingly unfergalicious times.

I have good problem-solving skills, but my problem-creating skills are where I really shine.

Restaurant toilets are dangerous! So many of my dates have gone to use them and vanished.

Massage therapist asked how I felt about chiropractics and I told her the guy who invented it says he learned it from a ghost, and that shut the conversation down pretty quick.

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My ex texted me saying, “Hey, I miss you,” so I replied, “Sorry, I have zero bars — the past doesn’t have good reception.”

Related Funny Posts 🤝

We can do things two ways. My way or the right way.

Onesies are amazing till you have to really pee in the middle of the night then you question all your life’s decisions.

My therapist is so lucky. I’m like a Netflix Original that pays her to watch.

I believe in you. I also believe in Bigfoot so don’t get too excited.

What, and I cannot stress this enough, day is it.

The final level of being smart is just pretending you don’t know anything to make your life easier.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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