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"Who needs the gym when you can have a piece of cake workout, right? 🍰💪 Even the dumbbells are jealous of that sweet treat! 😂 #CakeOverWeights"

cake, eat, exercise, favorite, favorite thing, fitness, food, gym, home, humor, piece, procrastination, stay, stay home, thing

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Accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to pull my blanket up, and if that doesn’t accurately describe my life, I don’t know what does.

2 months ago
accident, accident humor, accidentally, blanket, clumsy, describe, face, fail, humor, i, know, life, myself, pull, punch, relatable, self-harm, trying, while
So. Fed the laundry and washed the cat. Showered the garbage and disposed of myself. Was there anything else?

1 month ago
absurdity, anything, cat, chores, disposal, else, garbage, humor, laundry, myself, shower, showered
I bet before the band got popular, Barenaked Ladies concerts had a lot of pissed off attendees.

1 month ago
attendees, band, barenaked, Barenaked Lady, before, bet, concerts, disappointment, expectations, humor, i, lady, lot, music, pissed, popularity
I’m at the age where any time my mom asks if I remember so-and-so from high school, the news is never good.

1 month ago
age, good, growing, growing up, high, high school, i, memory, mom, never, news, nostalgia, relationships, remember, school, time, where
They should invent friends whose schedules line up with yours.

1 month ago
compatibility, friends, humor, invention, life, line, planning, schedule, should, social, social life, yours
I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I’ll be notified immediately.

1 month ago
alert, bracelet, ever, humor, i, irony, just, life, life alert, notification, notified, self-deprecation

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Welcome to your senior years, where you get mad when they rearrange the grocery store.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

They’re called grown-ups because they groan every time they get up.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Taking action is my least favorite thing to take.

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If I ever had to fight a bear, I hope it’s a gummy bear.

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I’m only dead on the outside.

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I didn’t buy that thing I wanted but didn’t need, so I celebrated by buying a different thing I wanted but didn’t need.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Not sure how to flirt, but I can make things awkward if you’re into that.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

The only thing that has grown faster than rents in recent years is the overtime we have to work to pay them.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Twitter needs a button that’s “bring back that tweet I was just starting to read before you automatically refreshed.”

Shared recently on Telegram:

“You’re like cherry lip gloss. I just can’t get enough.”

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I have determined there is no quiet way to get a pan out of a cabinet in the morning.

Seen just now on Discord:

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I will be notified immediately.

Making waves on X:

People who take two steps on the stairs are both active and lazy at the same time.

Trending via YouTube:

Girls love a gay best friend until he turns 35 and asks to borrow your womb.

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My favorite thing to do at the gym is stay home and eat a piece of cake.

Accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to pull my blanket up, and if that doesn’t accurately describe my life, I don’t know what does.

So. Fed the laundry and washed the cat. Showered the garbage and disposed of myself. Was there anything else?

I bet before the band got popular, Barenaked Ladies concerts had a lot of pissed off attendees.

I’m at the age where any time my mom asks if I remember so-and-so from high school, the news is never good.

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I’ll be notified immediately.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Keep your temper. Nobody else wants it.

Looking for someone whose favorite thing to do is nothing. No hiking. No adventure. Just bed rot.

I love when my grandma texts me — because I know it took her an hour.

Imagine hating me and im just at my desk spinning reeaaally fast in my office chair.

Elections make you feel like we’re all in divorce court waiting to see who gets custody of us.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I’m starting to think the voice in my head doesn’t like me very much.

Most of your problems emanate from assuming that you are intelligent. Ease into your stupidity, and be free.

It’s not jingling to you that I’m standing on Christmas.

For someone with a dry phone, I’m on it way too much.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets, because stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

If I were you, I would rather be me.

I forgot how weird November is. There’s no afternoon; it’s just night after 3 p.m.

If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.

Wanna go back to my place and meow at each other?

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Pouring rain, football on TV, empty house; the stuff dreams are made of.

My husband refused to get glasses. But that was before he brushed his teeth with fake tan.

When I gain weight, I should get to designate where on my body it goes.

I go to tattoo parlors and trick them into shaving my leg for me, and then leave.

Listen to your body? The body that craves a lethal amount of Kinder Bueno?

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My favorite thing to do at the gym is stay home and eat a piece of cake.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to pull my blanket up, and if that doesn’t accurately describe my life, I don’t know what does.

So. Fed the laundry and washed the cat. Showered the garbage and disposed of myself. Was there anything else?

I bet before the band got popular, Barenaked Ladies concerts had a lot of pissed off attendees.

I’m at the age where any time my mom asks if I remember so-and-so from high school, the news is never good.

They should invent friends whose schedules line up with yours.

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I’ll be notified immediately.

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