Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

I hope this email blows your head smoove off.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

You don’t do laundry once a week. You do it constantly, endlessly, forever—until you die.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Not to be dramatic, but learning how to read has ruined my life.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Foreplay is great, I particularly like the part where I peel them, chop them into pieces, then roast them in the oven until they’re all crispy and delicious.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

The title of my autobiography is going to be ‘You’d Think I’d Learn By Now, But Nope.’

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Name something cuter than a baby in a bucket hat on the beach.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

I love surprising my metabolism. It never knows what’s coming—either absolute starvation or 1,000+ calories all at once.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

My summer body has been pending for about ten years.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

McDonald’s is finally promoting good health by making their food unaffordable.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Don’t check on your introverted friends this time of year. They’re probably turning their lights off and pretending they’re not home.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,686

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

So basically, companies pay YouTube to show ads, and we pay YouTube to not show ads.

Spotted on Messenger:

Due to unforeseen circumstances, I will be acting weird today.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Everybody looks like a criminal on the self-checkout camera.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Growing your own tomatoes really is the best way to devote 3 months of your life to saving $2.17.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Eating the rest of the donuts will keep me from eating donuts tomorrow. My logic is flawless.

Live now on Messenger:

Adult friendships are difficult. The people I get on best with never want to leave the house either.

Trending via Messenger:

Hate when I view someone’s story, and it’s their birthday.

Making waves on Pinterest:

How you conduct yourself when using plastic wrap is the real you.

Going viral on Facebook:

If you want people to have kind words when you pass, you should say kind words when you’re alive.

Just shared via Slack:

I want a man who doesn’t annoy me while I’m constantly getting on his nerves. It can’t be that difficult.

My husband is looking for the remote control. I need everyone to stand up for a minute.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When finding the remote needs military precision. Everyone, prepare for 'Operation Sofa Search'! 🛋️🔍🤣"

comedy, control, everyone, family, household, humor, husband, i, joke, looking, minute, need, relationship, remote, remote control, stand, stand-up

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Gay? We don’t use that word anymore. Person of rainbow.

0

2 months ago

gay, humor, identity, joke, language, LGBTQ, person, rainbow, word, wordplay
My immune system told me it’s a lover not a fighter.

0

2 months ago

fighter, health, humor, immune, immune system, lover, me, personality, system
Texting is so boring. Just show up to my door with roses.

0

2 months ago

boredom, boring, dating, door, gesture, just, romantic, romantic gesture, rose, roses, show, surprise, surprise visit, texting, visit
You know it’s bad when people start telling you, you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

0

3 months ago

bad, compliment, encouragement, ever, humor, interaction, irony, know, met, people, person, resilience, social, social interaction, start, strength, telling
Why is it called “free time” when I use it to spend all my money?

0

2 months ago

finance, free, free time, humor, i, irony, leisure, money, spend, spending, time
I be like “communication is the key” then put my phone on do not disturb.

0

2 months ago

communication, disturb, do not disturb, humor, i, interaction, irony, key, phone, procrastination, social, social interaction

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on Messenger this month:

I’ve got a headache, and it’s affecting my entire future.

73 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I can relate to the stock market because I am always about to crash at a moment’s notice.

95 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t think fish should be allowed to eat other fish. I don’t know. Just seems weird. That’s like your coworker, dude.

43 shares on X this month:

I asked my doctor if I’m healthy enough for sex and he told me I’m not even sexy enough for health.

11 shares on Twitch this month:

You’re so vain. You probably think me being in this tree outside your house is about you.

90 shares on Threads this month:

That one friend who has a dangerously loose grasp on food safety.

78 shares on X this month:

The best part about your kids being sick is you get to see exactly how shitty you’re going to feel in 48 hours.

41 shares on Messenger this month:

If we keep saving daylight, daylight will never learn to save itself.

33 shares on Slack this month:

Super excited about a brand new week of hanging on by a thread.

34 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I poked your tweet with a stick, hoping it would do something.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

If I could have immunity to anything I would pick calories.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

When someone says “I don’t want a relationship right now” the “at least not with you” is silent.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Fog. When nature is too lazy to load the complete environment.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a kid that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Love when plans get canceled. It’s like getting a snow day as an adult.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

My mental health walks make my mental health worse because I live in a shithole.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

If you give me a serious answer to a silly question, I’m giving you a wedgie.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

I’ll be like “I’m fine” then shake my leg at 150 mph.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Showing your emotions to the wrong people is like bleeding next to a shark.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Getting my next boyfriend a flip phone. He doesn’t need anything more.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Nobody says, ‘Bless you,’ when you fart.

Just landed via Discord:

Call me Frankenstein the way I’m piecing it together.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I get it, orcas. Sometimes you just need to ruin a yacht to feel something.

Shared recently on Twitch:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked. I’m a family of 8.

Seen just now on Slack:

Wanna know a real adult life hack? Don’t tell anyone when you have a day off. Absolutely no one.

Making waves on Twitch:

In your twenties, there may be love. It’s very important to ignore this love and pursue a master’s instead.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Never underestimate my ability to fall asleep in a moving vehicle.

Trending via Snapchat:

Never forget that your fave celebs were trying to sell you cartoon monkey pictures during a pandemic.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Nothing more dangerous than an ignorant man who thinks he is a genius.

Just landed via Reddit:

LinkedIn: where you desperately hope that one idiot you had a drink with six years ago can somehow help get you a job.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My husband is looking for the remote control. I need everyone to stand up for a minute.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Gay? We don’t use that word anymore. Person of rainbow.

My immune system told me it’s a lover not a fighter.

Texting is so boring. Just show up to my door with roses.

You know it’s bad when people start telling you, you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

Why is it called “free time” when I use it to spend all my money?

I be like “communication is the key” then put my phone on do not disturb.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨