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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Not many quicksand-related deaths since the 1970s. Thank God the authorities got that nightmare under control.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they’re dead.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Not to brag but I don’t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

I always wonder who makes a more stupid face: women putting on make-up or men shaving?

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Bro, you’re not allowed anymore to have your tongue drop out of your mouth and form a stair case when you see my wife.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Word on the street is that the fire in your heart is out.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Concert tickets should be 75% off if the artist is really super special to you.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

My diet was going really well until I woke up.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

An orgasm before bed is nature’s strongest sleep aid.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

My favorite machine at the gym is the one where you put change in, and snacks come out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,658

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

When someone tells me “They could care less”, instead of the proper “I couldn’t care less”, I always say “At least you care.”

Making waves on Snapchat:

The government even made aliens boring.

Making waves on Telegram:

Yesterday I wore something from 5 years ago and it actually fit. So proud of myself. It was a scarf, but still, let’s be positive here.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Imagine if every time you stepped into an elevator, it played the “Mission Impossible” theme.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

If you ever need nothing, I’m here for you.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

“Gen Z is having less sex.” It’s always sex, sex, sex with these people.

Just shared via Instagram:

If snails are so slow, why don’t we ever see them coming? It’s just BAM, there’s a snail.

Seen just now on Discord:

Just found out it don’t matter how early I go to bed, I just don’t wanna go to work.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Okay, that’s enough todaying for today.

Going viral on Facebook:

Beer is Narcan for when you overdose on Microsoft Teams.

My husband is looking for the remote control. I need everyone to stand up for a minute.

Playful quote about household chaos and humor in searching for the remote control.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When finding the remote needs military precision. Everyone, prepare for 'Operation Sofa Search'! 🛋️🔍🤣"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Facebook this month:

I find it sad that my universal remote does not control the universe. Not even remotely.

93 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Grown men carpooling to the strip club so they can get boners and drive home together.

85 shares on WeChat this month:

There’s something so spiritual about new life. When I look my baby nephew in the eyes, I can’t stop thinking about how amazing it will be to connect with him on LinkedIn.

76 shares on Threads this month:

You unfollow me because you are afraid of falling in love with me. I know!

21 shares on Slack this month:

Jeans have the tendency of looking neat when you’re about to wash them.

27 shares on Threads this month:

You can’t hurt my feelings, I used to bring my dad the wrong tools.

96 shares on Slack this month:

If you need time alone, just announce that you need help cleaning the cats litter box.

92 shares on Instagram this month:

Life can only give you lemons if you answer the door.

62 shares on Instagram this month:

You’re an atheist? Well, I don’t believe you. See how you like it.

74 shares on Messenger this month:

We’ve historically done extremely well with regime change, so this should be a piece of cake.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey boy, are you my period? Because you’re annoying as hell but I still wanna see you regularly.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The older I get, the more I appreciate people who pretend not to notice me when they see me out in public.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

At my next job, I’m gonna lie about having a kid so I can leave the office anytime I want like everyone else with children.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Only time I believe a man is when he tells me that I’m pretty.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry for the things I said when there were too many noises at the same time.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

On today’s family vacation agenda: my parents read the internet out loud.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Ninety percent of my new follows are beautiful women, which tells me one thing: I’ve still got it!

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry to any bands who see me yawn during their show. It’s not you, it’s just past 10pm.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Insane that you have to defend yourself at the end of the Ph. D.! Why are you attacking me? I’m so tired.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The sandwich I made for lunch didn’t even make it until 10am.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,635

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

If I was a little smarter, I’d be aware of how stupid I am.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Remember, if you start with, “It’s crazy to think…” you can say whatever you want.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

God: “I genuinely don’t remember making you all this stupid.”

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here eating Nutella from the jar with a spoon.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Are you ever in the mood to get hit by a car and spend like one month in the hospital?

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

I was going to do some yoga today, but had a donut instead.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

The man who invented autocorrect walks into a barn. He orders a bear.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Dress for the demons you want, not the demons you have.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

I have had songs stuck in my head and I have had people stuck in my head, I highly recommend songs.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

Weird how I can’t seem to reach anything at the grocery store when hot men are around.

Just landed via WeChat:

Hey girl, are you a cigarette? Because I like cigarettes.

Seen just now on Threads:

Out of all my body parts, I’m sure my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least 463 eye rolls a day.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Liquor on the top shelf is so expensive because the bartender has to stand on their tippy toes to reach it.

Just landed via YouTube:

I am “any text received after 9pm will be answered at 6am” years old.

Shared recently on Threads:

The hardest thing about chess is the other guy is always doing some shit.

Shared recently on X:

I’m tired of pretending talking about the weather isn’t fun.

Just shared via Telegram:

If you’re in first class on a flight, sometimes they upgrade you to captain.

Breaking via Snapchat:

You’re always bitching about your alarm clock, but put yourself in his shoes. The first thing he sees in the morning is your face.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Might start a YouTube channel “will it hurt if I drop it on my foot”.

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