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Commentary:
Well, they do say that finding a new husband can be quite the workout! 💪😂 Who needs the gym when you can just go husband-hunting instead? 🏃‍♀️🔍 #NewHusbandNewMe

early, exercising, fitness, going, humor, husband, looking, need, new, new husband, relationship, shape, start, tomorrow, wake, waking, waking up

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Never in the history of calming down has anyone calmed down after being told to calm down.

0

2 months ago

advice, after, being, calm, calming, frustration, history, humor, irony, never, told
Hell hath no fury like a toddler getting his nose wiped.

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2 months ago

child, frustration, fury, getting, hell, humor, nose, parenting, toddler, wipe
I’m not getting fatter. I’m increasing my content.

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2 months ago

body, body image, content, fat, getting, humor, image, perspective, self-deprecation
I still can’t believe Aldi sells shopping carts for 25 cents. I’ve got 8 of them now and don’t really even have a use for them, it was just too good of a deal to pass up.

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2 months ago

25, Aldi, bargain, behavior, believe, buy, cart, consumer, consumer behavior, deal, even, good, humor, i, impulse, impulse buy, just, pass, shopping, shopping cart, still, too, unexpected, unexpected use
Many people love saying, “Get these away from me,” after eating a few chips.

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2 months ago

after, away, chip, chips, craving, eating, food, humor, love, me, people, reaction, saying, snack
Keep your friends close, but your smartphone closer.

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2 months ago

close, closer, connectivity, digital, friends, friendship, humor, keep, life, media, modern, modern life, smartphone, social, social media, technology

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on Telegram this month:

I have tasted sending long paragraphs, and I have tasted saying OK. I highly recommend saying OK.

95 shares on Discord this month:

I’m going to write a book about all the things I should have done with my life. l’ll call it my oughtabiography.

37 shares on Snapchat this month:

My boyfriend is mad at me because I keep replying with a fire extinguisher emoji to every girl that comments with a flame emoji on his pictures.

36 shares on Pinterest this month:

People found guilty of not using punctuation deserve the longest sentence possible.

78 shares on Threads this month:

Jesus invited prostitutes to dinner and was praised for compassion. I do it, and suddenly I ‘made Christmas awkward.’

63 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Memes are the most information-dense form of communication.

97 shares on Pinterest this month:

If I win the lottery, I’m buying four politicians and some really nice shoes.

30 shares on Discord this month:

I’m tired of things costing money.

100 shares on Facebook this month:

As a parent you get to see just how much a baby accomplishes in its first year of life. Because you’re awake for all of it.

65 shares on Snapchat this month:

They should go crazier with lab-grown meat. Invent some new animals or something. Mammoth burger.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

I personally feel like I have what it takes to become a fossil.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

If you drink enough, any bar can be a karaoke bar.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Hey, I’ve been thinking, and I think you should think for me.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Probably always gonna be the weirdo that believes in magic.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Welcome to adulthood. You have a favorite gas station now.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

I don’t do anything with my life except romanticize and decay with indecision.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Making a cult with only intuitive introverts so we can all sit in silence, side-eyeing each other suspiciously.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Yeah, baby, I am an animal in bed. More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours a day.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

I like to think of myself as an onion. Peel back the many layers and deep down inside you’ll find a smaller, more anxious onion.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Blocking isn’t enough. I wanna throw tomatoes at you like you’re a medieval criminal.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Crossing my fingers one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Having a job ruined my life.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

If adulting had a return policy, I’d use it immediately.

Going viral on Messenger:

Cafeteria is a beautiful name for a baby girl.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.

Spotted on Telegram:

My friend and I had a running joke. She said, “Let’s do a marathon,” and then we both laughed.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

“Can’t wait till I get older” was the dumbest thing I ever said.

Spotted on WeChat:

Every Stranger Things scene is just a guy in a wig being like, ‘We have to stop them.’

Going bananas on TikTok:

Chickens only make one sound, because they can’t think outside the bawks.

Going viral on Reddit:

Cholesterol has a special place in my heart.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My husband said we need to start exercising and get into shape, so I’m going to wake up early tomorrow and start looking for a new husband.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Never in the history of calming down has anyone calmed down after being told to calm down.

Hell hath no fury like a toddler getting his nose wiped.

I’m not getting fatter. I’m increasing my content.

I still can’t believe Aldi sells shopping carts for 25 cents. I’ve got 8 of them now and don’t really even have a use for them, it was just too good of a deal to pass up.

Many people love saying, “Get these away from me,” after eating a few chips.

Keep your friends close, but your smartphone closer.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨