Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Clearly, I have a special talent for turning my expensive glasses into everyday objects… who knew haute couture could also be an accessory to misplace! 👓💸 #ClumsyChic"

daily, daily wear, everyday, expensive, fashion, glasses, humor, i, irony, most, self-deprecation, thing, toxic, toxic trait, trait, wear

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I love 12 a.m. to 5 a.m. The world is so quiet.

0

4 months ago

12, 5, am, early, early morning, i, love, midnight, morning, night, peace, quiet, solitude, world
Kinda lame that pretending everything is fine isn’t working.

0

2 months ago

coping, everything, fine, humor, lame, pretending, reality, working
Hmm, that’s a bit too harsh. Let me put “lol” at the end of it.

0

2 months ago

end, harsh, humor, let, lighthearted, lol, me, put, sarcasm
Proudly doing my part to cause the male loneliness epidemic.

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2 months ago

cause, dating, doing, epidemic, humor, interaction, loneliness, male, male loneliness, proud, social, social interaction
I’m going to a karaoke bar tomorrow, where I’ll sing every song in the style of Yoko Ono.

0

2 months ago

activity, bar, entertainment, every, fun, fun activity, going, humor, karaoke, music, ono, parody, performance, sing, singing, song, style, tomorrow, where, yoko, Yoko Ono
Hello, hi. Don’t invite me anywhere until next year. The money is finished. Regards.

0

4 months ago

anywhere, financial, financial struggle, finished, greeting, hello, hi, holiday, holiday planning, humor, invitation, invite, me, money, next, planning, procrastination, struggle, year

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on Facebook this month:

Interrupt my sleep and I’ll interrupt your breathing.

40 shares on Threads this month:

We used to pass notes in class like spies. Folded like origami. Deep like Shakespeare.

51 shares on Slack this month:

Hey! Remember in the first grade when we were all just chilling and then some kid would throw up out of nowhere?

49 shares on Snapchat this month:

Stop wasting your money on beauty products. The secret to looking young is to wear a baseball cap with a propeller on it.

32 shares on Messenger this month:

Sledding is the best! (until you have to walk back up the hill)

29 shares on WeChat this month:

Brainwashing is always considered terrible and horrible. But there are many brains that would benefit from a wash.

36 shares on Discord this month:

Women are so hot, I wish they were good people.

96 shares on Threads this month:

You can add “cha cha cha” to any sentence you want without explaining yourself. Nobody really appreciates this.

10 shares on Pinterest this month:

The kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were pretty dumb if they couldn’t figure out that their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

36 shares on Messenger this month:

Studies show young people are having less sex than previous generations. I knew I was ahead of my time.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Petition to make check-in at hotels 11am and check-out 3pm, not the other way around. Like, WTF?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Waiting patiently for the alien invasion.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

The Recipe for Disaster in me, recognizes the Appetite for Destruction in you.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Here’s the problem with fruit: it’s inconsistent. Some apples are delicious, some taste bad. Sometimes blueberries are great, sometimes they are disgusting. You know what’s the same every time? Doritos.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Dear people, who drive without music playing, what do you do with your brain?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed and cleaned everything thoroughly. Today I’m putting the cockroach in the bathroom.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

I suck at charging my phone, 21 percent charged, and I’m taking it off so I can lay the other way.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

I can admit that I am intrigued by people weirder than I am.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked, I’m 4 people.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via YouTube:

I would rather walk directly into the ocean than tell people a fun fact about myself.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Sorry, I said yippee when you took off your pants. Do you still think I’m hot?

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

People who shower at night are bold enough to assume tomorrow’s even happening.

Just shared via Messenger:

What base is it when you’re flirting with a woman, and she asks, “Are you all right”?

Just landed via Instagram:

If you don’t have anything nice to say, sign up for Twitter.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I’ve calculated my December budget and realized I can only afford to pray.

Trending via WhatsApp:

You think you’re raising your kids right, and then one of them decides to be a fan of your football team’s arch rival.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

“PTO” stands for “prepare the others” because you’re not gonna be there.

Trending via Slack:

At bedtime, I ceremonially move the claw clip from my hair to the bag of chips, signifying the end of the day.

Spotted on TikTok:

“I’ve had cigarettes that were better than entire years of my life.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My toxic trait is treating my glasses like they’re not the most expensive thing I wear everyday.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I love 12 a.m. to 5 a.m. The world is so quiet.

Kinda lame that pretending everything is fine isn’t working.

Hmm, that’s a bit too harsh. Let me put “lol” at the end of it.

Proudly doing my part to cause the male loneliness epidemic.

I’m going to a karaoke bar tomorrow, where I’ll sing every song in the style of Yoko Ono.

Hello, hi. Don’t invite me anywhere until next year. The money is finished. Regards.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨