Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

To all the people who ask singles why they are actually single: Please don’t. We have sworn an oath and are not allowed to tell you the secret of our success.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

You’re an atheist? Well, I don’t believe you. See how you like it.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

I’m saving myself for my vibrator.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

I think during winter we should also get to work less hours in a day, just like the sun.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Who needs therapy when you can gaslight yourself into thinking that everything is fine?

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Most men will receive their first bunch of flowers at their funeral.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

If you need time alone, just announce that you need help cleaning the cats litter box.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

My mom sent me a text message so long I had to refill my Adderall prescription to read it.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Your in his DMs, I’m on Etsy paying a witch to put a spell on him.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Actually, you’re having a conversation with yourself. I’m just here so you don’t appear totally insane.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,309

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

“You changed!” Yeah, I thought three days in the same outfit was kinda pushing it.

Shared recently on Facebook:

At my next job, I’m gonna lie about having a kid so I can leave the office anytime I want like everyone else with children.

Going viral on Telegram:

I hate when flies rub their disgusting little hands together. What could you possibly be plotting? You can’t even get out of the open window.

Seen just now on Slack:

Before you send that email, ask yourself: is this a December problem or a January problem?

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Some people’s laughs are funnier than the joke.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I always make sure the garage door is shut. Wouldn’t want hoodlums stealing the stuff I’ve been meaning to get rid of for years.

Going viral on Telegram:

I get unreasonably happy when a YouTube video has subtitles that aren’t auto-generated.

Freshly posted on Slack:

My therapist said this to me, and it hit me like a brick: “They’re not your friends if they disagree with you or try to challenge you.”

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I can’t believe someone ran over my neighbors loud motorcycle tomorrow morning.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Thinking of telling my extra weight that I love it so that it can leave me too.

Nephew showed me his toys on FaceTime, and I had no toys to show him back. Humiliating.

4 weeks ago

Funny text about feeling humiliated after FaceTime with nephew and no toys to share.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your toy game isn't strong enough for the virtual playdate 😂🧸📱

back, call, childhood, Facetime, family, humiliating, humiliation, i, me, nephew, relationship, sharing, show, sibling, sibling relationship, technology, toy, toys, video, video call

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

4 weeks ago

age, age joke, aging, earlier, early, humor, i, irony, joke, late, older, time
They should let you spend one night in a house before you buy/rent it, just to make sure it’s haunted.

1 month ago

before, buy, estate, experience, funny idea, ghost, haunted, haunted house, home, house, humor, idea, just, let, night, real, real estate, rent, should, spend, sure
I always work very hard and intensively to ensure that my wife can proudly say: “That idiot over there? Yes, that’s mine!”

1 month ago

always, hard, hard work, humor, i, idiot, joke, marriage, mine, over, pride, relationship, say, wife, work, yes
Don’t give up, keep going. There are still so many disappointments waiting for you.

1 month ago

advice, disappointment, encouragement, give, going, humor, irony, keep, life, life advice, motivation, persistence, still, waiting
You give my middle finger an erection.

4 weeks ago

adult, adult humor, finger, give, humor, insult, joke, middle, middle finger, sarcasm, vulgar
I just need a day between everyday… to recover from the day before… just so I can prepare for the day coming.

1 month ago

before, coming, day, everyday, exhaustion, humor, i, just, need, prepare, recover, rest, routine, time

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on WhatsApp this month:

To cut a long story short, I became a film editor.

99 shares on Discord this month:

Starting drama with me the week before my period is an absolutely terrible idea – for you.

88 shares on Snapchat this month:

Let’s draft everyone who has their phone on military time first, since you’re all so eager.

37 shares on Slack this month:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode the bikes when we were young.

62 shares on Twitch this month:

Nothing ruins a Friday like realizing it’s only Wednesday.

21 shares on Discord this month:

The problem with believing that nothing matters except you, is that eventually everyone will just leave you alone to take extra special care of yourself.

60 shares on Twitch this month:

The female rage of having so much to say but refusing to say it, cause their emotional intelligence is too low for them to comprehend it.

75 shares on Threads this month:

My doctor just diagnosed me with anxiety and constipation. Now I’m worried shitless.

55 shares on TikTok this month:

Don’t tell me that everything was better in the past. I was there.

94 shares on Snapchat this month:

You can name literally any food or drink to the dentist and they’ll be like “ohhh, that’s actually so bad for your teeth. You should only eat water and toothpaste.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

I forgot to turn my clocks back and, oh my God, you guys are not going to believe the stuff that happens in the next hour.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

I don’t do exercise because one time I kneed myself in the face doing a burpee.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

That awkward moment when you have to pretend that you like the gift.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Opening a Star Wars pub called Bar Bar Binks.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Calm yourself, Lucifer. You did the right thing coming to me for advice.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Messages are way funnier when you know how that person talks.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

If you’re wondering whether something is A.I. or not, A.I. has already won.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

We were having tea with my mother-in-law the other day and out of the blue she said, “I’ve decided I want to be cremated.” I said, “Alright, get your coat.”

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Good news, I just decided I don’t care about anything anymore.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Only thing sexier than a bad decisions is a bad decision with queso.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

Nobody ever talks about how Sodom and Gomorrah were walkable cities.

Making waves on Reddit:

At my age, a trail of clothes leading to the bedroom, means I dropped them on the way from the dryer.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I say “long story short” and then tell the story with bonus features.

Trending via Snapchat:

The sexiest thing a man can do is have a problem-solving mentality.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Anything can be a dating app if you aren’t a coward.

Making waves on Discord:

I’m attracted to people that no one pays attention to.

Going viral on TikTok:

And then there are people who can only sleep on their back because their pea brain could slip out of their ear if they lie on their side.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

My kid’s superpower is knowing he won’t like a food before he even tries it.

Just landed via YouTube:

Babe, you’re not acting according to my delusions right now.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I prefer my weighted blanket in human form.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Nephew showed me his toys on FaceTime, and I had no toys to show him back. Humiliating.

Keep the laugh going 😂

The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

They should let you spend one night in a house before you buy/rent it, just to make sure it’s haunted.

I always work very hard and intensively to ensure that my wife can proudly say: “That idiot over there? Yes, that’s mine!”

Don’t give up, keep going. There are still so many disappointments waiting for you.

You give my middle finger an erection.

I just need a day between everyday… to recover from the day before… just so I can prepare for the day coming.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨