Nephew showed me his toys on FaceTime, and I had no toys to show him back. Humiliating.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

At least I’m part of the generation that at 30 still looks like it’s in its early 20s.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

It’s like ten thousand tweets when all you need is a life.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Shout out to myself for ruining my own life.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

You didn’t get fired, your job “fumbled you”.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Humanity doesn’t deserve a new year, look at the mess they made of the last one.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Day number 3 without coffee: Lost hearing in my left eye.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Twitter is Iike the smoking area for social media.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

The crematorium is my last hope for a hot body.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

“We told you to stop at 2012!” – The Mayans

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

What I lack in moves on the dance floor, I more than make up for in dancing around a conversation.