Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

If Spotify has taught me anything, it’s that I don’t know the correct lyrics to any of my favorite songs.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Every house has a smell that only the people living in it don’t smell.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on Facebook every day.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

It’s okay to run away from the cops if you’re shy.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

When you are in your 20s, there is going to be an urge to binge The Sopranos. it is very important that you press play.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

We are gathered here today because our ancestors didn’t have condoms.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

When someone has “Do Not Disturb” on, it’s like, oh, okay, I didn’t realize the great philosopher was in their hour of seclusion. Pardon me for even daring to enter their precious mind palace.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

It’s leg day. No, not at the gym, dummy. I’m shaving them.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

“I have an AI boyfriend.” No, you don’t. It’s Adam and Eve or Adam and Steve, not Adam and USB.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Handsome, you better get to the point, my beer buzz is starting to wear off.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,642

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

If A-B-C-D didn’t take their sweet time in the alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn’t have to sprint every time.

Trending via Pinterest:

An adult is a person who makes noise when they stand up.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Much of my algorithm is based on when I paused while scrolling to grab a snack.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

When I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean accountable.

Shared recently on Messenger:

“She’s so self-centered”—who’s supposed to be the center of my life? You?

Just shared via Threads:

If you put a pizza on top of a pizza, you have two pizzas. But if you stack two lasagnas, then you still have one lasagna.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

All the wrong decisions in this country are based on the fact that my balcony faces out the back and so I can’t speak to the people.

Spotted on Instagram:

If you steal enough FitBits, they’ll just give you one for your ankle.

Spotted on Reddit:

Is everyone enjoying their entire month of August off work with full pay? Oh yeah, I forgot, only Congress gets to do that.

Just shared via Threads:

I could never abuse substances, they mean a lot to me.

No one has ever believed in me more than this waitress, who brought me buffalo wings and a single wet nap.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When a waitress believes in you so much, she gives you wings and a wet nap backup plan! 🙌🍗🤣"

buffalo, buffalo wing, ever, food, humor, me, nap, restaurant, sarcasm, single, support, waitress, wet, wet nap, wing, wings

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s amazing how music can transport you to another place. For example, this coffee shop is playing Justin Bieber, so I’m going to another restaurant.

0

2 months ago

amazing, another, bieber, coffee, coffee shop, escape, example, funny situation, going, humor, justin, Justin Bieber, music, place, playing, restaurant, shop, situation, transport, transportation
I hate when people call my phone! I don’t use it for that.

0

2 months ago

call, communication, hate, humor, i, people, personal, personal preference, phone, preference, sarcasm, technology
The dude who invented the autocorrect has died. Restaurant in piece.

0

2 months ago

autocorrect, death, died, dude, humor, joke, piece, restaurant, technology, wordplay
Plants are like “I’ll have a light lunch.”

0

2 months ago

food, humor, joke, light, lunch, nature, plant, plants, wit
Typing in your email address on the TV is a different type of irritation.

0

3 months ago

address, different, email, email address, experience, frustration, irritation, technology, technology frustration, TV, type, typing, user, user experience
Do you also sometimes turn on the TV just so you have background noise or am I weird?

0

2 months ago

am, background, background noise, comfort, entertainment, habit, i, isolation, just, noise, turn, TV, weird

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on Pinterest this month:

Wish I could get paid just for being a sweetheart.

99 shares on Telegram this month:

On average, my daily actions demonstrate I’m probably good at something else.

11 shares on Snapchat this month:

I am a man, a man with a cold, so I guess this is goodbye.

76 shares on Slack this month:

Commenting “Obviously AI” on pictures of happy couples.

99 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Extroverts love our energy. That’s why they suck it out of us.

29 shares on X this month:

Giving people access to the internet was a massive mistake.

17 shares on Discord this month:

Why is being alive so expensive? I’m not even having a good time.

12 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m writing a book on the joys of drinking beer. So far I’ve been through a lot of drafts.

47 shares on YouTube this month:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here doing an epic air-drum solo to ‘In The Air Tonight’.

47 shares on Twitch this month:

Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say “I know it’s hard, but you’ll be okay. Here’s a coffee and a million dollars.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

You know those lines you see painted on parking lots? I know this will come as a shock to some of you, but you’re supposed to park between them.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Passwords are like underwear: You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them, you should change them regularly, and you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

April Fool’s next week and still no one has asked me to be their fool.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

The perfect number of cats is two stupid cats. Preferably siblings. But they can’t both be the same type of stupid. One needs to be stupid (dumb) and one needs to be stupid (annoying).

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Wooden pews are designed to maximize the shame of farting in church.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Porn actresses envy the look on my face when I clean my ear with a cotton bud.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Be gentle with me, I’m from the 1900s.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting… It’s like, woah, I’m not the same person I was last night.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

“Male loneliness epidemic” and it’s just karma and the consequences of their actions.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

Never vacuuming so I don’t disrupt my carpet’s natural micro biome.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I think Australians should have to go three rounds in the ring with a kangaroo before they eat him.

Seen just now on YouTube:

We live in a cosmic tornado, but sure, let’s all get jobs.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Alcohol is actually a performance-enhancing drug. But you’re not gonna like the performance.

Just landed via YouTube:

As it turns out, the only way to avoid work stress is not going.

Trending via YouTube:

Traveling back in time to proudly inform Benjamin Franklin that my stove has wifi.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I signed up to the gym a few months ago and still don’t see any results. I’ll go by there this weekend and ask what’s going on.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

The feminine urge to act clueless while knowing everything.

Making waves on Facebook:

Nobody gets angrier than a man being accused of something he actually did.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

No one has ever believed in me more than this waitress, who brought me buffalo wings and a single wet nap.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

It’s amazing how music can transport you to another place. For example, this coffee shop is playing Justin Bieber, so I’m going to another restaurant.

I hate when people call my phone! I don’t use it for that.

The dude who invented the autocorrect has died. Restaurant in piece.

Plants are like “I’ll have a light lunch.”

Typing in your email address on the TV is a different type of irritation.

Do you also sometimes turn on the TV just so you have background noise or am I weird?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨