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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Sometimes, I wonder what my life would be like if I had a good haircut.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Petition to bring back payphones in public places. I don’t want to give my kid a phone, I want to give him a quarter.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Your pronouns are “side/chick”.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

You don’t get much engagement? Have you tried being retarded.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

It’s almost bed time, so I’ll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Honestly, how women are drawn in a manga is typically (though not always) a good clue for what demographic a manga series is.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

You know those couples who share their food? I mean, what kind of people are they? Aren’t they hungry?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

After careful consideration, I think I’d have way more fun if I was incredibly stupid.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Started the year single. Ending the year single. Consistency is key.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

We can’t all be underemployed creatives. Someone in the group chat needs to know what an insurance is.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,607

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

I’m the type of husband that helps his wife look for her missing chocolate that I ate.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Had a fight with an erection this morning. Beat it single-handed.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Don’t fall in love. It’s bad.

Just shared via Telegram:

Having a horse run off on you in medieval times must have been crazy. Imagine if your car got scared and ran away, and you found it a day later by itself at a gas station.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

Going viral on X:

If anyone wants to contact me, from now on I can only be reached via my bank account.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

My teen would like you to know I ruined her life when I did her laundry today.

Just shared via Telegram:

I love when the restaurant bathroom has different music playing than the restaurant. It’s like I’m going to Club Pee Pee.

Spotted on YouTube:

Many men also have a walk-in closet. For them, it’s just called a floor.

Going viral on Telegram:

Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you’re finished.

Not gonna lie, the age I’m turning this year sounds a little serious, and I don’t like it.

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Not gonna lie, the age I’m turning this year sounds a little serious, and I don’t like it.
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Commentary:
Sounds like we need to negotiate with Father Time for a more fun age! 🎉😅🔄

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on YouTube this month:

I stopped adding “Let me know if you have any more questions!” to my emails because don’t email me again.

38 shares on Messenger this month:

I like my Jims slim and my chances fat.

57 shares on Twitch this month:

Not to brag, but I drove and found a place I was looking for without turning down my music today.

68 shares on Slack this month:

Once you realize that the general public is retarded, you stop caring about how crazy you look to them.

85 shares on Discord this month:

If you think my posts are horrid, wait until you see the live stream of my colonoscopy.

33 shares on Facebook this month:

For a guy supposedly called my “brother,” I’ve never seen him make broth even once.

51 shares on Snapchat this month:

When I say someone is a good doctor, it’s entirely based on the strength of their waiting room Wi-Fi.

42 shares on YouTube this month:

Grown men carpooling to the strip club so they can get boners and drive home together.

33 shares on TikTok this month:

My favorite pastime is looking for meaning where there is none.

70 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Can I come over and circle you like a vulture?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Too many types of pasta. I can say my fav is Fliccaroni and not one of you can be sure if it’s real. Look at you googling it.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder what the other me’s are up to in other dimensions.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Couldn’t afford a man cave. Had to settle for a gazebro.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Always be kind. You never know who might own a hot tub.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is the most fun you can have on the toilet.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Anyone who deals with customers on a professional basis should be allowed to hand out one face slap per day.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’d be a terrible masseuse. After 5 minutes, I’d be like, “Okay, my turn.”

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The ideal girlfriend breaks your heart, so you go on to do great things.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine thinking you have all the answers.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Oops, I think I’ve had a little too much to think.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,668

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m cosplaying as a functional adult again.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Betrayal is when you’re holding a baby, and they put their arms out for someone else.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Breakups are hard, but have you ever been disappointed in the food you ordered?

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

People who live in glass houses shouldn’t change clothes.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Tiime isn’t on my side, it’s on my face, wrinkling my forehead.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

I mean, sex is all right, but have you ever experienced the sheer sensuality of having rock-solid proof that a problem at work was someone else’s fault, even though it really, really looked like it was yours?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

My dog pisses on every election sign regardless of political party so I have no idea who he is voting for.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

If you need me, I’ll be in the shower pretending I can sing.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

I need a browser plugin that disables Amazon when I’m drinking. Hashtag: don’t drink and Prime.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Threads:

What if they close grocery stores and we have to hunt for our food? I don’t even know where the little gummy bears live.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Imagine surviving Covid 19 and then China releases Covid 19S Plus Pro.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Balloons are so weird. “Happy birthday, here’s a plastic sack of my breath.”

Making waves on Messenger:

I hate when I offer someone food and they accept it.

Just shared via Instagram:

Enjoy your 30s, because in your 40s, your first check engine lights come on.

Breaking via Snapchat:

If the shampoo and the conditioner finish at the same time, one of them faked it.

Just landed via Reddit:

Just in case you don’t know, it’s “piqued” your interest, not “peaked”.

Making waves on Threads:

I’m surviving motherhood, one teenage meltdown at a time.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Humming & dancing while I plop my meds into my weekly pill counter like the happy little nutcase I am.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I do not know how to put this gently, but part of being a good driver is using the gas and brake as little as humanly possible.

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