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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

I hate it when I’m outside, and an insect lands and crawls on my glasses, and for a split second, I think aliens have invaded.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Name a better duo than sad and depressed.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

The “Wooooooooo” track from sitcoms should play whenever you kiss someone in real life.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Naps are tricky. Either you wake up relaxed and refreshed, or you have a headache, a dry throat and no idea what year it is.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Parents be like, “I gave you everything I had,” and by everything, they meant the collector’s edition boxed set of mental illness.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Viewing someone’s LinkedIn after they’ve viewed yours to assert dominance.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

If you ever get a chance to date a cute person for one day, where will you take me?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

People always say, “There’s plenty of fish in the sea” … yeah, but I’ve got my eye fixed on that specific, emotionally distant salmon who has commitment issues.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Super excited about a brand new year full of questionable life choices.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Don’t be part of the problem. Be all of it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,516

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Facebook:

People will be like “Nobody cares about your Spotify Wrapped,” and then post a picture of their baby.

Just landed via TikTok:

I bet being full feels so good for the moon.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I get so embarrassed for no reason after posting on social media, like, why am I showing my life?

Spotted on TikTok:

People who live in glass houses should be put on a watchlist.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Do y’all ever get pre-annoyed? Like, you already know someone is about to piss you off.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I’ve folded seven page corners of the book I’m reading. That’s 49 in dog ears.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

If you think I’m annoying, give it some time. You’ll know for sure pretty soon.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Thinking about stepping down from being an adult, I’m just not in the right headspace for this position right now. I really appreciate the opportunity though.

Just landed via Threads:

The concept of warding off vampires with crosses is so interesting to me. I wonder if it applies to any other religion or if they’re allergic to just Catholicism.

Spotted on Instagram:

Guys, please stop wearing NASA shirts, I bet you can’t even name one of their songs.

Not gonna lie, the age I’m turning this year sounds a little serious, and I don’t like it.

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Not gonna lie, the age I’m turning this year sounds a little serious, and I don’t like it.
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Commentary:
Sounds like we need to negotiate with Father Time for a more fun age! 🎉😅🔄

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on TikTok this month:

A spoonful of peanut butter from the jar will fix me.

27 shares on Slack this month:

This whole working for a living thing goes on for how long?

18 shares on X this month:

Every single bad day happened because I woke up.

70 shares on Slack this month:

Beer is like the color black: it goes with everything.

12 shares on TikTok this month:

Person in murder documentary: This is a small town. Things like this don’t happen here. Me: Um, based on the shows I watch, that’s all that happens in small towns.

93 shares on Snapchat this month:

Managed to empty the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something there takes on a life of its own.

82 shares on Slack this month:

I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

92 shares on Slack this month:

Text a co-worker at a random time “are you joining this meeting?” as a fun holiday prank.

31 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I think my dad just eradicated a small village with his sneeze.

18 shares on TikTok this month:

How does pasta water know when you’re not looking?

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I need to go to jail for a while to catch up on all my reading.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I always tell my kids that it’s okay to make mistakes just as long as you learn how to blame them on other people.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If I was on Love Island, I wouldn’t be fighting anyone or starting drama. I would just be playing mermaids in the pool the whole time. They’ve got that giant, beautiful pool, and nobody’s using it.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I have read the room and decided to be illiterate.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I were a wild horse in Kazakhstan. That would fix everything.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I was as tired at bedtime as I am at 2 p.m. on any given day.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Excuse me, can you direct me to the nonsense?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My addiction to buying things I don’t need started at the school book fair.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I believe the IRS is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Violence is not the answer, unless you’re a gaggle of children instructed to break into a piñata.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,234

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

The night before a day off is more satisfying than the actual day off.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

I’m bringing back “holy moly” and nobody can stop me.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

I fondly remember my days as a younger man when I didn’t care what the weather was going to do.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

If we start flirting now, we could be in matching pajamas on a Christmas card before the holidays.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Made the mistake of believing what I was told again.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Rental car companies seem so insanely helpless at their one job. You show up at the airport, reservation in hand, and they’re like, ‘Wait, really? You wanted a car? Sorry, you totally caught me off guard.’

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

I know there are bigger problems in the world right now, but I’ve just realized I’ve never seen a baby seagull.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Being a millennial means finding out you can’t afford to live in that apartment complex you thought was really shady when you were a kid.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

That awkward moment when someone keeps watching you while you are eating.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

The only talent I have is spending more than I bring in.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Twitch:

How are there low birth rates when everyone here is a big baby?

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

You know IT have given up when the error message reads, ‘Something went wrong’.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

It’s jarring for me when there are British people in the Midwest. How did you get this far inland?

Making waves on Messenger:

I only have one wish in life… For all my dreams to come true.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

25 is the new 0 years old.

Spotted on Telegram:

You can really tell somebody’s mental state by they hair.

Live now on Slack:

Monday morning looks like Jack Nicholson breaking through the door in The Shining.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I tried to scream into the abyss today but got a busy signal.

Freshly posted on Threads:

We have decided to sell the house. How long do you think it will take for our landlord to find out?

Spotted on Snapchat:

Why is it that your clothes only get caught on the door handle when you’re in a bad mood?

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