Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

If you only watched reality TV dating shows, you would probably estimate the number of people who work in medical device sales in the United States to be approximately 80,000,000.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Need a dimly lit cocktail date with a gaze so lustful it causes God to draft up another sin.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Doctor said I am terminally chill.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

I tried being the bigger person but all it got me was type 2 diabetes.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

My mental health is as reliable as a flashlight in a horror film.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

It’s messed up how us humans have to obey all these laws while bears get to eat whoever they want.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

When I trip, I always look back to see who or what did it, because it couldn’t have possibly been my fault.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

A shark could swim faster than me, but I could probably run faster than a shark. So, in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclist.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Car naps hit different, especially when you are the one driving.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

“Some men go months without being hugged.” Okay, then they should just hug each other.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,592

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

First date idea: we search for each other’s criminal history together.

Just shared via Slack:

Arguing through text will have you standing in one spot for 40 mins.

Going viral on Reddit:

Mondays are for pretending. Real work begins on Tuesday.

Shared recently on Threads:

I don’t have red flags, I have fun facts.

Broadcasted on X:

Not now, I’m befriending a crow and teaching it how to deliver handwritten love notes.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Venting to ChatGPT is crazy, y’all turning schizophrenic.

Going viral on TikTok:

Celery is depressing green water wafers.

Breaking via TikTok:

Establish dominance at work by drinking iced tea in a wine glass.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Donuts have holes in them, just like acoustic guitars, but that’s pretty much where the similarities end.

Spotted on Slack:

Not to be a nerd, but a well-placed semicolon is hot as hell.

Not now, honey. I’m talking to strangers on the internet.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Just networking my way through the chaotic web of strangers… 😂🌐 #Priorities"

conversation, honey, humor, internet, media, online, online conversation, relationship, social, social media, stranger, strangers, talking

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Welcome to your 40s: here’s an extra chin.

0

2 months ago

40s, aging, chin, humor, life, life stage, self-deprecation, stage, welcome
User: the word computer professionals use when they mean ‘idiot.’

0

2 months ago

computer, humor, idiot, mean, professional, sarcasm, technology, user, word
I remember when a computer didn’t automatically connect to the internet, it used to make a screaming noise. We should have listened.

0

2 months ago

computer, connection, history, i, internet, noise, nostalgia, remember, screaming, should, technology, used, warning
Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean it won’t be a good time.

0

2 months ago

adventure, bad, bad idea, enjoyment, fun, good, good time, humor, idea, just, mean, risk, spontaneity, time
At my next job, I’m gonna lie about having a kid so I can leave the office anytime I want like everyone else with children.

0

2 months ago

children, everyone, humor, job, kid, leave, lie, office, want, work
Can the AI bubble just pop already? Everyone hates this crap.

0

2 weeks ago

AI, bubble, culture, everyone, frustration, hate, internet, internet culture, just, pop, sarcasm, technology, trend

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on Threads this month:

When butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans in their stomachs?

79 shares on YouTube this month:

Digging my own grave, because I gotta do everything around here.

99 shares on Discord this month:

The laundromat should give you XP and ranks like “Slimelord” and “Glunkfather,” based on how dirty your clothes are.

17 shares on Twitch this month:

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

29 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m ready to try another planet.

56 shares on Slack this month:

Studies show young people are having less sex than previous generations. I knew I was ahead of my time.

15 shares on Discord this month:

I hope this email punches you square in the face.

60 shares on Instagram this month:

I might look calm, but in my head I’ve punched you in the face three times.

67 shares on Instagram this month:

At this point, I’m sure I’ll meet an alien or zombies before I meet the love of my life!

79 shares on YouTube this month:

I haven’t tried Yoga, but I bent over to pick up my keys off the floor, so I’m sure I wouldn’t like Yoga.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice, with a celery stalk and vodka.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

We really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

The word “misread” can be misread as “misread.”

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

I love being outside, just not when it’s too cold or too hot or too wet or too windy or if there are bugs.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

If someone drunk texts you, appreciate it. They’ve thought of you when they can barely think straight.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the terms and conditions I do not read.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Remember, if you start with, “It’s crazy to think…” you can say whatever you want.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Sorry I said your toddler should be in commercials for birth control.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

You can count the number of times my wife has agreed with me on one hand, if you don’t have fingers.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

If your boyfriend insists he rolls everywhere because it’s ‘faster than walking’, you may be dating a gamer.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

I’ve walked the walk, but nowadays I just sit the sit.

Breaking via Pinterest:

First you’re cringe, then you’re the blueprint.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I’m currently trying not to read anything about carbohydrates after 4pm.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Remember: if nobody hates you, you’re not trying hard enough.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Oh, lord. I brought my mouth with me to work today and it’s all sass. Prayers, please.

Just shared via X:

My lotion bottle says to use it on areas of irritation, so I slathered it all over my coworker, Deborah.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

No one told me middle age would be so fuzzy, and if you are wondering whether I mean my eyesight or my facial hair, yes.

Shared recently on WeChat:

User: the word computer professionals use when they mean ‘idiot.’

Going viral on Discord:

That uncle or aunt who kept their distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense as you get older.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Not now, honey. I’m talking to strangers on the internet.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Welcome to your 40s: here’s an extra chin.

User: the word computer professionals use when they mean ‘idiot.’

I remember when a computer didn’t automatically connect to the internet, it used to make a screaming noise. We should have listened.

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean it won’t be a good time.

At my next job, I’m gonna lie about having a kid so I can leave the office anytime I want like everyone else with children.

Can the AI bubble just pop already? Everyone hates this crap.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨