Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Confucius says: “Those who drink a lot die earlier, but have seen twice as much in life.”

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Nothing prepares you for the day you wake up and realize you have a favorite cardigan.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Daniel Craig leaving Bond to become Benoit Blanc is one of the best things to ever happen.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

I wear a lot of clothes for someone who hates doing laundry.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

I want Wolverine claws. Not for violence or anything. I want them for easing my way through reality. Like opening an Amazon package.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

For the amount of meat you get out of clam, I feel like we could just leave them alone.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Getting older is so fun. Your life goals slowly transition from things like ‘land a dream job’ to ‘successfully grow a cherry tomato.’

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

I do not like FaceTime unless we’re best friends or I’m in love with you.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

What did people do before eyeglasses, like half the world just walked around not being able to see?

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

I’m not gaining weight, I’m retaining candy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,482

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Told someone I’m as “single as a pringle and as neato as a dorito” and they blocked me immediately.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Welcome to your 40s, your level of cleaning is directly related to whether your guest can see without readers.

Freshly posted on Threads:

My workout goals are simple: I’d just like to be able to get up off the floor without looking like a turtle trying to flip itself back over.

Just shared via Slack:

Lying to stupid people can give you a profound sense of satisfaction, it can also make you president.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I’m going to need to speak with the flowers about this.

Just shared via Telegram:

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

Spotted on TikTok:

Can’t. Just put my hair in a bun and that’s just about enough exercise for today.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Taylor Swift should write a song about people who don’t return their shopping carts to the corrals.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

The funniest thing about Batman is that he legitimately doesn’t give a shit about crime that happens during the day.

Making waves on X:

It’s so unfair that saying “xd” is still socially acceptable, but only if you’re speaking Spanish.

Nothing I do for money is passion-based. It’s just pure hatred for being broke.

24 hours ago

Funny Quotes

Humorous quote about financial frustration and aversion to poverty, playful and witty tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like my wallet's arch-nemesis is winning the battle! 💸😂

being, broke, hatred, humor, i, just, money, motivation, nothing, passion, pure, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Should we all just give up and get really into drugs? Wait, this is literally what happened in the 60s. That just clicked for me.

99 shares on Slack this month:

If your first child is uncomplicated, then it’s a trick of nature to get you to have a second child. The second will be an unpredictable bundle of energy that seems to get by without sleep.

54 shares on YouTube this month:

A haunted house, but it’s just all apps and websites where you got logged out but can’t remember your password.

20 shares on X this month:

Can I sell my feelings on ebay, I don’t want them anymore.

90 shares on Snapchat this month:

I could tell my beard needed a trim when I started seeing some of the pictures my kids were drawing of me.

65 shares on Threads this month:

As you get older, it’s amazing how fast bird-watching creeps up on you…

11 shares on Facebook this month:

I came. I saw. I made it awkward.

97 shares on WeChat this month:

Your hoodie strings are uneven. Go home and get your shit together!

36 shares on Slack this month:

I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.

89 shares on WeChat this month:

Taking Adderall to use the calculator app.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Telling her parents you creampie her daily is socially unacceptable. But telling them you’re trying for a baby is a cause for celebration.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Maybe there’s an alternate universe where onions cry when they chop up humans, you don’t know.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

The best weight you’ll ever lose is the weight of other people’s opinions.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

A dating app to meet other people with low IQ called OK Stupid.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Men playing hard to get when they’re already hard to want, is so funny to me.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Nothing ruins my day quite like getting out of bed and dealing with people.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Laxatives help you live up to your full pooptential.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

I mean, sex is all right, but have you ever experienced the sheer sensuality of having rock-solid proof that a problem at work was someone else’s fault, even though it really, really looked like it was yours?

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

This meeting could have been a cake.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying works.

Making waves on Snapchat:

No we can’t hangout, you’ll end up falling in love with me and I don’t have time for that.

Seen just now on Facebook:

If I was on Love Island, I would get wasted and drown in the pool, altering the course of every contestant’s life forever.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Becoming an adult was the worst thing I’ve ever done.

Just landed via Pinterest:

True bravery is getting a text from a woman with three questions in it, and only responding to one.

Shared recently on Slack:

Pretty sure the best place to hide a dead body is in a new tab you opened to read later.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Uber sends notifications like “Hey, want to take an Uber right now?” No thanks, buddy. It’s more for when I need to go somewhere.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

In the baking aisle, booing everyone buying imitation vanilla extract.

Breaking via Slack:

Everyone who got my kids board games for Christmas, when are you coming back to play with them?

Shared recently on Reddit:

When you want to feel at your thinnest, walk through Walmart at any time of day.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Nothing I do for money is passion-based. It’s just pure hatred for being broke.

I love one-pot recipes. So much less mess than when I was trying to cook things without a pot.

I grew up in a poor family. We didn’t have much, but we had each other. And that was the worst part.

There are no adults in the room. The cavalry is not coming. Everything was built by people no smarter than you.

Guys only want one thing and it’s my grandmother’s meatball recipe.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Nothing I do for money is passion-based. It’s just pure hatred for being broke.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Me attempting to flirt: So do you like doing things?

I love one-pot recipes. So much less mess than when I was trying to cook things without a pot.

I like to describe the difference between theory and practice with shopping lists and receipts.

I grew up in a poor family. We didn’t have much, but we had each other. And that was the worst part.

There are no adults in the room. The cavalry is not coming. Everything was built by people no smarter than you.

Guys only want one thing and it’s my grandmother’s meatball recipe.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨