Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

If I were god, I would’ve rested all 7 days.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Life stopped being real after 2019 anyways.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

I’ve just turned off the news and put on a serial killer documentary to relax.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

To be gentle in this world is an act of rebellion.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

My two moods are eating a breakfast sandwich or wishing I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Hey! Remember in the first grade when we were all just chilling and then some kid would throw up out of nowhere?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

If someone leaves your life, it’s often because the actor playing them is getting cancelled in the real world.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

The Bachelor is like “Meet Savannah from Brooklyn, Madison from Savannah, Brooklyn from Madison”

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Get a puppy if you are in the market for a best friend who gets you up early so she can bite you excitedly.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

In contrast to the ship, the movie Titanic was quite well received in America.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,381

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I’m getting close to that age where people applaud the things I’m “still able to do”.

Trending via Instagram:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, if you could take some stuffing out of the midsection and give it a little forehead kiss, that would be great.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I miss my Dad opening the windows and talking about cross-ventilation.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Okay, I’ve proved I’m not a robot, now you prove you’re not a human.

Just shared via Reddit:

Girls these days are like a box of chocolates. Some have nuts.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Today sucked so bad, I had to stop by the liquor store on my way to the bar.

Just landed via Messenger:

The nerve of a majority of people I meet being younger than me. How dare them?

Freshly posted on Threads:

You’ve got to question the legitimacy of the Burger Kingdom if Burger King is just handing out crowns to anybody willy-nilly.

Just shared via Telegram:

Whether you rip off a bandaid quickly or slowly, I find it’s best to ask the wearer’s permission first.

Oh, Amazon, no. Please do not tell me how many packages I had delivered this year; that is none of my business.

4 weeks ago

Humorous text about avoiding Amazon delivery stats, playful and witty in tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your shopping cart has more commitment issues than your ex! 📦😂📦

Amazon, business, consumer, delivery, humor, i, me, none, oh, online, online shopping, package, please, self-awareness, shopping, tell, tracking, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Discord this month:

I see WWIII is about to kick off again. I’d best cancel the milk and get the cat in.

46 shares on Instagram this month:

You’re in her DMs. I’m accidentally reposting reels of Tibetan foxes because I don’t know how to use the app anymore.

50 shares on Facebook this month:

What was the name of the boat in Titanic?

58 shares on Facebook this month:

Wanted to report a YouTube video, but there is no option for “Cringe”, so I just picked “Terrorism”.

92 shares on Twitch this month:

Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet.

22 shares on Instagram this month:

Arkansas is just Kansas for pirates.

84 shares on Messenger this month:

I get it, sauce, I also thicken over time.

17 shares on Facebook this month:

Just did my own taxes, I should be in jail by Friday.

49 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m writing a book on the joys of drinking beer. So far I’ve been through a lot of drafts.

86 shares on YouTube this month:

It scares me when you stay up late, like 3 a.m., and you hear a car go down the road, like, where are you going?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Customers will say shit like, “Uhh, it’s asking me to remove my card?”

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

The echo in my house when it’s clean is unsettling. Better order more stuff.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Whoever’s been in charge of the weather for the last few weeks seems to have fallen asleep on the couch with the remote control in their hand.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Listen to the birds, not the news.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Hello darkness, my old friend. Why are you here? It’s 6:00 pm.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

I just want a man to look at me the way Doc from ‘Back to the Future’ looks when something exciting happens.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Music just makes living on this earth a little bit more bearable.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

I like my job, but if I had the opportunity to become a rich housewife, I would take it.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

You can make a salad without lettuce if you want, there are no rules.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

I think the worst part about the collapse of civilization will be all those people with no way to remove their braces.

Making waves on Facebook:

Go ahead and use that semi-colon; no one will know you’re doing it wrong.

Just landed via WeChat:

After 25, you’re pretty much 30.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

If I’m ever murdered, feel comfort in knowing I ran my mouth until the bitter end.

Going viral on WeChat:

At the airport, and a wife asked her husband, “Where are our seats?” and he responds, “In the airplane.”

Trending via X:

Centaurs can’t wipe their asses.

Making waves on Telegram:

Never underestimate the healing power of a grilled cheese sandwich.

Live now on X:

Can someone please invent 8 hours between 9 p.m. and midnight?

Broadcasted on Slack:

Whoever created / mandated the auto start-stop feature on cars should be dragged into the town square to be tarred and feathered!

Broadcasted on Discord:

And is this “year-end bonus” in the room with us right now?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Oh, Amazon, no. Please do not tell me how many packages I had delivered this year; that is none of my business.

Can hardly wait until my winter fat turns into spring rolls.

Being single for Valentine’s Day is way better than being in the wrong relationship.

Unfortunately for everyone, I will keep doing whatever I want.

My boss just left which means I have finished all of my work for the day.

Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say “I know it’s hard, but you’ll be okay. Here’s a coffee and a million dollars.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Oh, Amazon, no. Please do not tell me how many packages I had delivered this year; that is none of my business.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Can hardly wait until my winter fat turns into spring rolls.

“Alcohol and beautiful women” is apparently not an appropriate answer when you are asked about your weaknesses in a job interview.

Being single for Valentine’s Day is way better than being in the wrong relationship.

Unfortunately for everyone, I will keep doing whatever I want.

My boss just left which means I have finished all of my work for the day.

Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say “I know it’s hard, but you’ll be okay. Here’s a coffee and a million dollars.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨