Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Maybe Rome was built in a day. I wasn’t there.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Sunday is my favorite day where I pretend I’m going to do something productive.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

I hate hotel bath towels. So thick and fluffy, I can’t even close my suitcase.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Being called by your real name in a relationship kinda sounds like a divorce.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

If I’m too much, go find less. I’m not running a clearance sale.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Guy in front of me at the movies was reading the popcorn Wikipedia page while he was eating popcorn.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

And for my next trick, I’m going to miss you in a million unspoken ways.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Death by a thousand stupid questions.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

I like warm weather but only to a certain degree.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

“You should exercise for at least 30 minutes every day”. Okay, and how much if you’re not trying to go to the Olympics?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,585

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

My mom gave me a coffee mug that says “Be your own kind of beautiful” and I’m really trying not to read too much into that.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Family Guy is so insane because, why were people dating that dog?

Going viral on Slack:

Everyone says “Do what makes you happy”, until you push them down the stairs.

Just shared via Threads:

I’m having a bad day. Please send super-cute pics of your credit cards to cheer me up.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Why is 4-8 p.m. on a Sunday the most depressing time ever?

Seen just now on Instagram:

Everyone’s gangsta until they spot a double rainbow in the sky.

Live now on Facebook:

To avoid burnout at work, use the 30-30 rule: after 30 minutes of work, quit your job and disappear into the mountains for 30 years.

Making waves on X:

I cannot hear a word you are saying if your hoodie strings are uneven.

Making waves on Twitch:

So proud of my ancestors for crawling out of the sea and evolving lungs. Pretty disappointed in them ever since though.

Seen just now on Telegram:

So, does anyone know how to end mass religious psychosis, or is it just a thing now until we slowly die off from climate-induced disasters?

Oh, sorry, I can’t right now. I’m imagining some things and worrying about them.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"BRB, fighting imaginary dragons! 🐉💭🤣"

activity, excuse, humor, i, imagination, mental, mental activity, oh, overthinking, right, sorry, things, worry, worrying

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you can’t say anything nice, say something funny.

0

2 months ago

communication, humor, nice, positivity, say, something
One day you’re young and fun, and the next thing you know, you’re staring out of a window for no reason.

0

2 months ago

aging, boredom, day, fun, know, next, reason, reflection, staring, thing, window, young, youth
Accidentally used my real personality at work today… heading to HR now.

0

2 months ago

accident, accidentally, hr, humor, mistake, office, personality, real, today, truth, used, work
The egg doesn’t swim to the sperm, girl. Never chase a man.

0

2 months ago

advice, biology, chase, dating, egg, girl, humor, man, never, relationship, relationship advice, sperm, swim
Spent 20 minutes training ChatGPT to write the perfect anniversary note for my wife, so don’t try to tell me I’m not romantic.

0

2 months ago

20, anniversary, ChatGPT, creative, digital, effort, gift, humor, me, minutes, note, perfect, relationship, romantic, sarcasm, spent, tech, tell, training, try, wife
I love when people start getting filler, and instead of looking younger, it’s just like okay, your face is getting really, really big in all directions.

0

3 months ago

aging, appearance, big, cosmetic, directions, face, filler, getting, humor, i, joke, just, looking, love, okay, people, start, younger

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on Telegram this month:

Apparently I lack empathy, according to some stupid cow in HR.

49 shares on X this month:

I should be able to eat one huge meal a month, like a snake. This every-few-hours shit sucks.

99 shares on YouTube this month:

Imagine falling in love and then finding out that they put antlers on their car for the holidays.

22 shares on Messenger this month:

The best thing capitalism has done is put a little window on pasta boxes so the noodles can look out at the world.

78 shares on Discord this month:

At the airport, and a wife asked her husband, “Where are our seats?” and he responds, “In the airplane.”

55 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Eating watermelon and minding my own business.

57 shares on Discord this month:

The only thing longer than the opening ceremony of the Olympics is the opening ceremony of my eyes in the morning.

49 shares on Instagram this month:

My southern family thinks my daily routine in NYC is that I wake up, try really hard not to get stabbed by a knife, and then I go see a musical.

81 shares on Telegram this month:

The hardest thing about chess is the other guy is always doing some shit.

76 shares on YouTube this month:

We all got a little Barbie in us (the microplastics).

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

I find myself thinking “God, I need a cigarette” way too often for someone who doesn’t actually smoke.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

“Try it all before you die” is always drugs and sex, never quantum physics.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

I wish my doctor would put down a little treat to distract me like my vet does for my dog.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

My son was praying for “everybody in the world.” If you suddenly start experiencing good fortune, you’re welcome.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

I don’t consider myself anything but average. However, I have aged well.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

At the strip club sighing until one of the dancers asks me what’s wrong.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

For as long as that song was, you’d think the Ghost Busters would have mentioned their phone number at least once.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

When gearing up for a mountain climbing adventure it is important to remember to no.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

If my son ever came out as gay, I’d be so furious. Furious that he never gave me fashion advice.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

So, technically, Moses is the first man to download files from the cloud using a tablet.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I need a button in Zoom meetings where it just freezes my screen and makes it look like I’m having network issues.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Sex is cool, but have you ever made peace with the horror of being alive.

Seen just now on Threads:

There aren’t enough hours in the day for me to do absolutely nothing.

Going viral on Reddit:

Nobody ever talks about how Sodom and Gomorrah were walkable cities.

Spotted on WeChat:

On a scale of quack to quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack, what do you think of my duck-based numbering system?

Going viral on Discord:

Therapy isn’t gonna cut it, I need vengeance.

Live now on Slack:

Having long hair as a guy is so scary because some days I look like the charming lead of a classic film from the 80s, and other days I look like a Discord mod that runs his Magic: The Gathering group like the Navy.

Trending via Discord:

I love it when God gives me money.

Making waves on Twitch:

People moaning and making noise over food makes me so livid I can’t keep it in.

Live now on YouTube:

Returning to Twitter is like coming back to a dysfunctional family.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Oh, sorry, I can’t right now. I’m imagining some things and worrying about them.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If you can’t say anything nice, say something funny.

One day you’re young and fun, and the next thing you know, you’re staring out of a window for no reason.

Accidentally used my real personality at work today… heading to HR now.

The egg doesn’t swim to the sperm, girl. Never chase a man.

Spent 20 minutes training ChatGPT to write the perfect anniversary note for my wife, so don’t try to tell me I’m not romantic.

I love when people start getting filler, and instead of looking younger, it’s just like okay, your face is getting really, really big in all directions.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨