Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Just because I’m friendly doesn’t mean I like you. It just means that I’m not rude.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

I have a condition where if I don’t walk as fast as humanly possible wherever I go, I will die. I’m like the bus in Speed.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Psych meds aren’t enough anymore. Hit me with a shovel.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

You don’t even have to date, by the way. You can just take a break from love and then randomly meet the actual love of your life somewhere you weren’t even supposed to be.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

I dunno what I did in a past life but holy crap I’m sorry.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Why do Marvel movies need 3 hours to accomplish what The Powerpuff Girls did in 11 minutes?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m the type of idiot to be loyal during the talking stage.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

I don’t hold grudges. I just remember facts very aggressively.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times. You know, just to be sure.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

The ‘b’ in ‘subtle’ totally is.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,256

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

I love when dudes are named Guy. Like, yeah. Exactly.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I think Cinderella should have lived a happy life with all her animal friends rather than settle for a man who had her try on a shoe because he didn’t recognize her without makeup.

Trending via Telegram:

Boxes of pasta don’t need a plastic window. I believe pasta is in the box.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Twitter is just a diary I choose to show to strangers.

Seen just now on Slack:

If you see me looking zoned out, it’s because I’m having a therapy session with myself in my head.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Who called it a Cybertruck and not a Deplorean?

Trending via Reddit:

Shoutout to everyone who can’t keep up with the laundry or the dishes but decided it was a great idea to start gardening.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Managers want a week of silence and meditation in order to be even more of a manager afterwards.

Just shared via WeChat:

Ladies, repeat after me: “I was wrong and I am sorry!”

Spotted on Slack:

If the number 666 is considered evil, then technically, 25.8069758 is the root of all evil.

Other people: You should get out of your comfort zone. Me: You should get out of my comfort zone.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Why venture out when my zone has snacks and Wi-Fi? 🚪🔓🤣

comfort, comfort zone, humor, interaction, introvert, me, people, personal, personal space, sarcasm, should, social, social interaction, space, zone

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

That was pointless, we could’ve just stayed strangers.

0

5 months ago

awkward, awkward interaction, awkwardness, humor, interaction, just, pointless, sarcasm, social, social awkwardness, stranger, strangers
Whoever removed the 30th and 31st from February, come get the 14th too.

0

2 months ago

14th, 30th, 31st, calendar, date, February, humor, joke, month, too
Taking action is my least favorite thing to take.

0

2 months ago

action, favorite, humor, inaction, least, least favorite, procrastination, take, taking, thing
I like running because it’s cheaper than paying for a gym membership. If the gym wants the money I owe them, they’ll have to catch me.

0

2 months ago

catch, cheaper, cost-saving, exercise, fitness, gym, humor, i, joke, me, membership, money, running, wants
I ain’t typing “X” into the URL bar, my wife is right behind me.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, bar, funny situation, humor, i, me, moment, privacy, relationship, right, situation, typing, URL, wife, x
I am simply too intelligent to be happy.

0

2 months ago

am, happiness, happy, humor, i, intelligent, irony, self-awareness, too, wisdom

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.

52 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Any cults got something wild planned anytime soon? I’m trying to find the good estate sales.

53 shares on WeChat this month:

The most valuable breed of cow are the Cash.

47 shares on Pinterest this month:

Every girl’s personal hell is being too excited about their birthday and it ends up being the worst day ever.

62 shares on Snapchat this month:

Is ice cream for dinner a thing, because ice cream for dinner should be be a thing.

81 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m so toxic, I can fight for a relationship I don’t even want.

64 shares on Slack this month:

Dating again after you break up with a long-term partner is like dying in a video game and ending up back at the start to do it all again, except with less health.

22 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t weigh myself because most scales don’t know how heavy all the grudges I’m holding onto are.

80 shares on Telegram this month:

Traded my Fitbit in for a Sitbit.

42 shares on TikTok this month:

In my retweeting era, because I’m just speechless.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Born to be a hater, forced to understand your perspective.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

I will play my favorite song until the artist comes out of my phone to ask for water.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

I’m so thankful I live on the planet that has pizza.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Microsoft Teams needs to add a “spank” reaction for when I want to reprimand my employees during a video call.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Vote for me, I’ll cut the alphabet in half.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Some people are so judgmental, I can tell by just looking at them.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

For your own sanity, always take mixed signals as a no.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Husband said he only wants to allow our kids to watch Looney Tunes and nothing else because of the “moral lessons”.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Can I come over and look at your Hot Wheels collection?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Post beach shower is undefeated. Greatest feeling a human could experience. Throw a nap in there, and you will never touch serenity so close.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Yeah, bro, she’s probably just not using her phone right now, for the first time ever in her whole life.

Seen just now on Discord:

You can generate images with your mind whenever you want. You don’t even need AI.

Going viral on TikTok:

The first pyramid scheme was when the Egyptians took credit for the pyramids that were clearly built by aliens.

Breaking via Discord:

The season is back when women are 80% scarf.

Trending via YouTube:

Santa has the right idea: only visit people once a year, eat a snack, leave early.

Spotted on TikTok:

Some people don’t have a permanent handwriting. It depends on their mood and the pen they use.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Whoever said “Out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear in their bedroom.

Going bananas on Facebook:

“Are you dating anyone?” I close my eyes when I walk past mirrors.

Spotted on TikTok:

Women aren’t complicated. Just give us attention and leave us alone.

Spotted on WeChat:

I love when women have one daughter as their only child. It’s so incredibly chic.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Other people: You should get out of your comfort zone. Me: You should get out of my comfort zone.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

That was pointless, we could’ve just stayed strangers.

Whoever removed the 30th and 31st from February, come get the 14th too.

Taking action is my least favorite thing to take.

I like running because it’s cheaper than paying for a gym membership. If the gym wants the money I owe them, they’ll have to catch me.

I ain’t typing “X” into the URL bar, my wife is right behind me.

I am simply too intelligent to be happy.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨