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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

It’s not a Sunday unless you completely waste it and then feel sad around 8 p.m.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

That very depressing moment when you find out the fire alarm that went off at work was just a test.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come into work today. I’m trying to capture the childlike joy of December.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Refusing to make eye contact with anyone while I eat my banana.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

I really don’t get enough praise for someone who doesn’t need validation from others.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Big fan of taking a huge bite and then nodding while I chew. You make an excellent point, food.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Big accounts just say water is wet and get 1 trillion likes.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Spotify wrapped is like my annual mental health report and it’s getting worse by each passing year.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Tensing up so the masseuse doesn’t win.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

I just want a bar where I can pour my own drink, have music at a normal volume, and there are no people, and it’s my house.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,267

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

If she wants the moon, you get her the moon.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

You don’t scare me. You’re not the evil eye I get from my dog when I make him get up from the couch so I can lay down.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Called in telepathically this morning, so they know I’m thinking of them.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I love being wrong, it’s just like being right except easier and I get to be stupid, which is my favorite thing.

Just shared via YouTube:

I dare you to try and be more single than me.

Making waves on Telegram:

Can’t. I’m busy taking this Buzzfeed quiz to find out what kind of potato I am.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Shazam, but for the name of the person who literally just introduced themself to me.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Answering your cell when you don’t recognize the number is like picking up a hitchhiker.

Other people: You should get out of your comfort zone. Me: You should get out of my comfort zone.

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Other people: You should get out of your comfort zone. Me: You should get out of my comfort zone.
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Commentary:
Why venture out when my zone has snacks and Wi-Fi? 🚪🔓🤣

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

Getting older is sexy. You moan more.

21 shares on YouTube this month:

Don’t mispronounce anything next to me and think I didn’t hear it.

69 shares on Snapchat this month:

When old people say, “Long as you happy,” that means you’re pretty dumb.

80 shares on TikTok this month:

I once broke up with a guy because he ate half my french fries, and when I get really lonely, I still think about those french fries.

27 shares on Instagram this month:

Sure, sex is great, but have you ever closed a dozen tabs after finishing an academic paper?

44 shares on Discord this month:

I wish British people had subtitles so I knew what they are on about.

75 shares on Snapchat this month:

You think you’re cool and then you see a video of yourself running.

40 shares on Messenger this month:

If I text you at 8:10, you’re supposed to reply at 8:09.

37 shares on Discord this month:

Silence is golden. But duct tape is silver.

75 shares on Messenger this month:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If your boyfriend insists he rolls everywhere because it’s ‘faster than walking’, you may be dating a gamer.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, don’t be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Defeating imposter syndrome by actually being incompetent.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop expecting people to be as cool as you, it’s a recipe for disappointment.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Naps are tricky. Either you wake up relaxed and refreshed, or you have a headache, a dry throat and no idea what year it is.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

You guys can continue with the week, I’ve stopped here.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I was telling my sister that I’ve been going to the gym recently, and my nephew said, “You should go inside when you get there,” and I don’t think I’ll ever recover from that.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Being an adult is spending every day looking at a pill bottle, wondering, “Did I take this already?”

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I truly wonder what it sounded like when Medusa washed her hair at night.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

What bootlickers fail to understand is that the boot eventually comes for them too.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,359

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

The term “domestic housewife” implies the existence of a feral housewife and that is what I aspire to be.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

I hate when I grab a live wire and everyone sees my damn skeleton.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Got electrocuted while fixing the doorbell, and now I can hear my girlfriend’s thoughts. She’s thinking she should have called an electrician.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Dark mode changed me. White screens now feel like staring into the sun.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Because it is Friday, I will allow one beautiful woman to invite me for drinks.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Zombies only eat brains, so you are safe.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Reoccurring dreams be like: ‘I dunno, here’s a rerun’

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Odd people reviewing a dessert: It’s not too sweet which is what I like.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Thank you all for attending my final rose ceremony. There will be no roses.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

The concept of dominant hands is hilarious to me. That one of our hands is just like, “No, I’m not helping.”

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

My signature move is waving at someone who is waving at the person behind me.

Just shared via X:

If she tells you, she’s got a man, keep trying. Loyal women don’t even reply.

Trending via YouTube:

Me passing someone: you slow mule! Me being passed: okay, speed racer!

Going bananas on Discord:

Life always has it’s ups and downs. I like to up the music, down the drinks, and then relax and enjoy.

Seen just now on Threads:

I love when I see a really beautiful car, and I look inside, and it’s a beautiful woman. That’s fire.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I didn’t just turn into a grouchy old woman overnight. It took years of people letting me down, pissing me off, and dealing with idiots to get this good at it.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I haven’t tried Yoga, but I bent over to pick up my keys off the floor, so I’m sure I wouldn’t like Yoga.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I regret to inform you that the secret to appearing well-read is to read.

Spotted on YouTube:

I’m just here to make you wish I wasn’t.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

“I’m at that stage of Christmas shopping where I start buying myself presents.”

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