Today I learned that up to half of the worker ants in a colony are only pretending to work, just looking busy so they don’t get tasked with anything. I respect ants so much more. Posted onMay 19, 2026
We can’t all be underemployed creatives. Someone in the group chat needs to know what an insurance is. Posted onMay 19, 2026
That period between finding out you got a new job and actually starting the new job is one of the best times in life. Posted onMay 19, 2026
I don’t understand people who do things on weekends. You just did things all week. What’s next, more things? That’s how they get you. Posted onMay 19, 2026
Please congratulate me on my cool new position! It is the fetal position; I will be in it for a while. Posted onMay 19, 2026
A cheat code to adulting is to always have something to look forward to, no matter how small or big. Posted onMay 19, 2026
The bad news is I forgot to wear my spaghetti-eating shirt. The good news is I have a new spaghetti-eating shirt. Posted onMay 19, 2026
If your girlfriend doesn’t go a little psycho on you from time to time, then she’s not in love with you, sweetie. Posted onMay 19, 2026
I feel like Mario has more raw prowess, but Luigi is probably the more sensual lover. Posted onMay 19, 2026
Cats clean themselves with their little fish breath mouths, but somehow they always smell like laundry detergent, vanilla, and happiness. Posted onMay 19, 2026
Can somebody explain to me why it’s bad if immigrants take our jobs, but it’s good if AI does? Posted onMay 19, 2026
A little 9-5 with a little fraud on the side is the only way you gone survive in this world. Posted onMay 19, 2026
The ultimate student paradox: skipping class to avoid stress, only to stress about skipping class! Posted onMay 19, 2026
We need a word for a type of person who spends all their time working to live in a city so they can be near cool things, but they don’t actually like going out. Posted onMay 19, 2026
Waking up early is cool until it starts feeling like you’ve had a long day at 10 a.m. Posted onMay 19, 2026
Me, when a 25-year-old talks to me: please be patient with me, I’m from the 1900s. Posted onMay 19, 2026
Y’all ever skip a class and then have the post-skip class depression? Like, damn, I should’ve just gone. Posted onMay 19, 2026
I was about to stop overthinking, then I thought of a giraffe having a sore throat. Posted onMay 19, 2026
Are you ever so happy to be in bed, you wish you could be even more in bed than you already are? Posted onMay 19, 2026