Being an adult is spending every day looking at a pill bottle, wondering, “Did I take this already?” Posted onMay 19, 2026
Look, the problem with The Life of a Showgirl is that, for maybe the first time in her music career, Taylor Swift has nothing to say. Posted onMay 19, 2026
I love when people start getting filler, and instead of looking younger, it’s just like okay, your face is getting really, really big in all directions. Posted onMay 19, 2026
Asking him what his favorite dinosaur is on the first date to determine compatibility. Posted onMay 19, 2026
I’m brave but not “order something different from the restaurant menu” kind of brave. Posted onMay 19, 2026
The second date is you watching me parallel park and trying not to have a stroke. Posted onMay 19, 2026
Jobs be asking me for 3 references, and I think I might start doing the same. Like, let me talk to 3 happy employees, please. Posted onMay 19, 2026
Babe, are you OK? It’s already Q4, and you’ve barely touched your “2025 roadmap.” Posted onMay 19, 2026
Sorry for texting you back instantly. My phone was in my hand, and I’m mature and actually like you. Posted onMay 19, 2026
Congrats on hitting your Q3 numbers. Here’s an even bigger Q4 number that you’ll be fired for missing. Posted onMay 19, 2026
When I was a kid, no phones or tablets. We just read the cereal box at breakfast. Posted onMay 19, 2026
Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I never wanted to download the Microsoft Authenticator app on my personal phone to access every professional platform necessary to do my job. Posted onMay 19, 2026
Making friends as an adult is wild because there’s so much lore to catch up on. You’ll be 3 years in and still get random drops like, ‘Oh, by the way, I used to be married.’ Posted onMay 19, 2026
I love how you get on Twitter, and all your thoughts are already in someone else’s tweet. Posted onMay 19, 2026
Y’all be riding them bikes in the street like I don’t gotta look up my next song. Posted onMay 19, 2026
I love surprising my metabolism. It never knows what’s coming—either absolute starvation or 1,000+ calories all at once. Posted onMay 19, 2026
The “Wooooooooo” track from sitcoms should play whenever you kiss someone in real life. Posted onMay 19, 2026