Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

The Sunday struggle is wanting to relax and wanting a clean house, but also not wanting to clean or move.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Be the lemon you want the world to hand to others.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Ask your doctor if it’s right for you to eat oranges and pretend they’re planets and you’re a Greek god.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Can’t, too busy deleting screenshots of my lock screen.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

I would just once like to feel as powerful as a toddler throwing their sippy cup whilst sitting atop their high chair.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

After having a week off, my boss returns to work today. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Wake up, the thinking isn’t going to overthink itself.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Everyone’s a gangster until the grocery store switches their aisles around.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

I had to treat myself to a sweet goody today to distract my mind from the horrors of life.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Microdosing Christmas by being present.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,496

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

My son put his dish in the sink so I rushed him to urgent care.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Why can’t people be tested like watermelons? You tap them on the head and find out whether they are normal or bad.

Just landed via TikTok:

Just eating the emotional support snickers bar in my purse. How about you?

Seen just now on Slack:

It’s lowkey nothing else to do except become a better version of yourself, lol.

Going viral on Telegram:

I’ve decided that I need to eat more vegetables, so I’m gonna make a carrot cake later.

Trending via Threads:

Not to brag, but I can put my socks on without sitting down.

Going viral on Pinterest:

To save money in this economy, I’ve tried eating out and I’ve tried cooking at home. The answer is starvation.

Trending via YouTube:

We like to vilify hot people, but it’s important to know that people who aren’t hot are also terrible.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Things can feel really overwhelming. Sometimes days or even weeks can get really hectic. Don’t forget that life is all about getting as much phone time as possible. Never lose sight of that.

Spotted on Discord:

I feel like waking up early on the weekend is so disrespectful.

People text “Happy New Year” and go missing for the rest of the year!

0
People text “Happy New Year” and go missing for the rest of the year!
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"New year, new me… and by 'me' I mean ghost mode activated for 364 days! 👻📅✨"

, , , , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on Threads this month:

Nothing like a grandfather clock to remind you every hour that you’re still awake.

61 shares on WeChat this month:

I talk to one guy, and he wants to break my heart. I talk to five guys, and they all wanna take me seriously.

30 shares on Facebook this month:

I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.

100 shares on Telegram this month:

Where do I see myself in 5 years? Here, but fatter.

83 shares on Instagram this month:

Good morning to everyone — except me, because I clearly didn’t get enough sleep.

49 shares on Slack this month:

Most of Twitter could probably use a good bop on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper.

27 shares on Discord this month:

Smart people are like huskies. If you don’t give them an interesting problem, they become an interesting problem.

82 shares on Threads this month:

Nothing humbles me faster than my phone camera accidentally turning on.

16 shares on Discord this month:

I always thought orthopaedic shoes were overrated, but I stand corrected.

67 shares on Messenger this month:

The walk of shame, except it’s me at a bowling alley walking back to sit down after I knock down zero pins with bumpers.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is that don’t do that.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

For your own sanity, move on like you never knew them, because in reality, you never did.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Aging gracefully is like getting steamrolled gracefully, you should really be screaming.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Good morning, especially if they tried to make you go to rehab and you said “no, no, no.”

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Senility is the pits. Spent an hour driving around the mall parking lot looking for my car.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Have you guys heard of recency bias? I hadn’t, but now I’m seeing it literally everywhere. Must be a big deal.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I have money, then I don’t have money, it all happens so fast!

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, I wasn’t really listening but that’s awesome, unless it isn’t of course.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

We often come across people in life who make us think: “Oh look, evolution takes a break too!”

22 folks are currently checking 👀

This Monday could have been an email.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,683

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

I want time to watch more films, but I also want time to read more books, but I also want time to look at more nothing.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Welcome to middle age. Everything you encounter is either blurry or too loud now.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Had chicken and egg for dinner because I wanted to eat the whole family.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Okay, new plan, I’m going to marry a Kardashian.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Me and the fellas making welcome gift baskets for the aliens.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Sometimes all you need is a Saturday to sleep, eat, and do absolutely nothing else all day.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

I am not leaving this house until my hoodie strings are even.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Missionary, so we can discuss how 15 min can save us 15% or more on car insurance.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Ironically jogging pants are mostly worn by the laziest people.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Sorry for zoning out, bro. It’s just, I’ve been having a bad day for several years.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

Threatening my husband with tariffs every time he tries to make me watch sports on TV.

Just landed via TikTok:

If you like Christmas so much, why don’t you merry it?

Freshly posted on Threads:

Serious replies to silly posts are now illegal. Go talk to your wife.

Just landed via Twitch:

I accidentally said “large” instead of “venti” at Starbucks and now the cops are here.

Breaking via Reddit:

My new drivers license arrived and when I opened it, I gasped. How’d they get a picture of my mother?

Trending via Discord:

I don’t like this new trend of old people wearing shirts of bands I listened to when I was a kid.

Shared recently on YouTube:

The way some people hold their cell phone to make a call, I always think they’re trying to take a bite out of a sandwich.

Going viral on Facebook:

If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I was having a great Friday until I found out it was Thursday.

Going viral on Pinterest:

“So if I had kids, my kids would never…” Spoiler: Yes, they would.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴