Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Booked an escape room but just to get away from everyone. No plans of escaping.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

I fondly remember my days as a younger man when I didn’t care what the weather was going to do.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

The USA is having so many disasters and tragedies, you’d almost think it was built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

When someone asks me if my twins are natural, I tell them no they’re robots.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

My parents often told me I would lose my own head if it wasn’t screwed on and now that I’m an adult, I want to know what tools I need to have it screwed off.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

A diamond is forever, and so is my teen’s grudge against me for some random stuff every other day.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

My favorite part of The Godfather is when the guy wakes up and screams because the Mafia has stolen the bottom half of the horse he keeps in his bed.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

I think carefully about what I’m going to say and I still manage to say the wrong thing. It’s truly a gift I have.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Someone in their late 20s giving advice to someone in their early 20s is exactly like when a toddler is obsessed with a newborn.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

There’s a cougar warning in my neighborhood, but apparently it’s just a big cat. I bought a case of wine coolers for nothing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

231 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,500

Funny Quotes Topics

17,568

Funny Quotes Images

15,500

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,396

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

If you have to remind them to give a shit, remind yourself not to.

Going viral on Twitch:

Many fruits can be great names… but the real challenge is naming a child after a vegetable….

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I love when the restaurant bathroom has different music playing than the restaurant. It’s like I’m going to Club Pee Pee.

Spotted on WeChat:

I am under no obligation to make sense to you.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I think there’s a size limit on engagement rings before they look tacky, to me.

Just shared via Reddit:

Do you ever hang out with someone else’s family, and you’re like, ooooh, so this is what it’s supposed to be like?

Breaking via YouTube:

Teens be like, “I wanted to do that until you asked me to.”

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Words I heard most when I ran errands with my dad: “Wait in the truck.”

Just shared via Instagram:

Channeling my inner pretzel to achieve expert-level bad posture.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Isolation, the most goated coping mechanism. I love talking to no one and losing my mind alone.

People who grew up with money will look you in the eyes and ask you something insane like, “Do you ski?”

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Why ski when you can barely afford to slide into the weekend? ⛷️😅🛷

ask, class, eyes, humor, insane, money, people, privilege, question, ski, social, social class, something

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Jacket I left on a chair that sometimes looks like a person at night stuns in new evening nightmare.

0

3 weeks ago

chair, evening, i, illusion, jacket, left, looks, new, night, nightmare, person, scare, sometimes
Yoda, seeing himself in 4K: HDMI

0

2 months ago

4K, character, culture, HDMI, humor, movie, pop, pop culture, seeing, technology, visual, Yoda
Ladies, if you receive flowers with no card on them today, they’re from me.

0

2 months ago

card, day, flowers, gift, humor, lady, me, romance, surprise, today, valentine’s, Valentine’s Day
Parallel parking: where true relationships are tested!

0

3 months ago

challenge, couple, driving, humor, parallel, parallel parking, parking, relationship, relationships, stress, test, tested, true, where
How are there low birth rates when everyone here is a big baby?

0

2 months ago

baby, big, big baby, birth, birth rate, everyone, here, humor, irony, low, observation, population, rate
I unload the dishwasher backwards… just to feel something.

0

2 months ago

backwards, chore, dishwasher, feel, feeling, humor, i, just, mundane, mundane task, reverse, sarcasm, something, task

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on Messenger this month:

My desire to be informed is currently at odds with my desire to remain sane.

75 shares on X this month:

Me: “I’m still young.” My bones: “No, we not.”

13 shares on Reddit this month:

If you like constant interruptions when you’re trying to get something done, then parenting might be for you.

73 shares on Threads this month:

It should be socially acceptable to just face the wall at a party when you need a break from talking.

17 shares on Slack this month:

“Are you seeing anyone,” like hallucinating?

45 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Just the owls and I out here enjoying the breeze amongst the trees.

19 shares on Twitch this month:

I may have bags under my eyes, but they’re Versace.

48 shares on Threads this month:

I bet God still calls it Twitter.

17 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I wish pets lived longer, and life wasn’t so expensive, and cake didn’t make you fat, and people weren’t twats.

99 shares on Facebook this month:

The question “how is work” really pisses me off. Work is work, bro, I don’t know what else you want me to say.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please make it study.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

If I’m too quiet you can rest assured I’m in the process of planning my sweet escape or your equally sweet demise.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

The only thing stopping cheesecake from being a breakfast food is you.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Why do babies cry when they are tired? Like, just go to sleep, bro, no one is stopping you.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

The neighbor sneezes loudly from the balcony. And because I’m a polite person, I shout loudly: Disgusting!

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

“Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” by “Wham” encourages you to do something you shouldn’t do.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

I just tried to groom my dog myself, and I now fully understand why the dog groomer charges more for a haircut than my own stylist.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Imagine being a dinosaur. No work or bills. No drama. Just extinct.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Therapy only works if you have a lower IQ than the therapist.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Italy stands for I Truly Always Love You.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

Pets don’t talk because the moment they do, the government will tax them.

Making waves on YouTube:

Addicted to bad posture like why is it so comfortable to sit like a cooked shrimp.

Going viral on Telegram:

Those security guards at the Samsung store are Guardians of the Galaxy.

Making waves on Threads:

Within a week, we’ve had a major jewel heist, a mafia-involved poker ring, and sports gambling corruption. We’re living in the 1920s.

Live now on Slack:

It feels like a million o’clock right now.

Making waves on X:

Mid-life crisis? No, no, mid-day crisis. Something happens every day.

Freshly posted on Slack:

What no one tells you about having kids is that within a few years you’re in possession of a lot of teeth that you have no idea what to do with.

Trending via Messenger:

Nothing has paid off less than learning to do the Macarena.

Trending via Threads:

The most dangerous part of your 50s is those first few steps after prolonged sitting.

Breaking via Snapchat:

The best part about your kids being sick is you get to see exactly how shitty you’re going to feel in 48 hours.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

People who grew up with money will look you in the eyes and ask you something insane like, “Do you ski?”

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Jacket I left on a chair that sometimes looks like a person at night stuns in new evening nightmare.

Yoda, seeing himself in 4K: HDMI

Ladies, if you receive flowers with no card on them today, they’re from me.

Parallel parking: where true relationships are tested!

How are there low birth rates when everyone here is a big baby?

I unload the dishwasher backwards… just to feel something.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨