Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

It’s messed up how us humans have to obey all these laws while bears get to eat whoever they want.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

One of the great joys in this life is looking at your pet’s weird little teeth.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

I’m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Hiccups became less popular. I never hear people hiccuping anymore. What’s going on there?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

One of my biggest fears during a zombie apocalypse is having to sleep without a fan.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Unfortunately, I wasn’t built for casual dating, I’m only built for intense soul crushing love at first sight.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Good morning to everyone except people that talk to the cashier about their entire day.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Stop dating if you have no car.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

The era where you dropped your phone and your battery flew out was just crazy.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here looking at soup recipes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,996

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Ten million people accused me of exaggerating today.

Just shared via Threads:

My watch battery is fully charged. So I got some time.

Trending via Twitch:

All these self-driving vehicles… It’s only a matter of time before we hear a country song about his truck leaving him.

Shared recently on WeChat:

She was unique, like a millennial that could drive a stick shift.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Who needs an alarm clock when you have a bladder.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the work of 3-5 people.

Trending via Pinterest:

Wealthy person who has no problems and also meditates sometimes: Meditation is my secret weapon.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

If my trainee says “oh God” one more time, he’s going to meet him.

Spotted on Reddit:

I have absolutely no desire to stay in the loop.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

The world would be a much nicer place if we just turn off the news.

People who think naps are a waste of time obviously don’t understand how naps work.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Nap experts know that a good nap is basically a time-travel machine to refreshment town! 😴⏰✨

humor, joke, misunderstanding, nap, naps, people, productivity, relaxation, rest, sleep, think, time, understand, waste, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My daily exercise routine involves running late, jumping to conclusions and pushing my luck.

0

2 months ago

activity, conclusions, daily, daily activity, exercise, fitness, humor, jumping, late, luck, procrastination, pushing, routine, running
I can’t believe she picked her husband, her boyfriend and her other boyfriend over me.

0

2 months ago

believe, boyfriend, competition, humor, husband, i, jealousy, me, over, relationship, surprise
When I die, I want to come back as a speed bump so I can piss people off.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, back, bump, death, die, humor, i, joke, people, pissing, pissing off, reincarnation, speed, speed bump, want
Men don’t chew on toothpicks all day anymore.

0

5 months ago

chew, chewing, day, habit, humor, men, nostalgia, toothpick
We need an app where introverts can pay extroverts to make phone calls for them.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, app, call, calls, communication, extrovert, humor, interaction, introvert, need, outsourcing, pay, phone, phone call, social, social anxiety, social interaction, technology, where
You can say “Have a nice day,” no problem, but saying “Enjoy the next 24 hours” sounds vaguely threatening.

0

2 months ago

day, enjoy, expression, greeting, hours, humor, language, next, nice, phrase, problem, say, saying, sounds, threat, threatening, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on Twitch this month:

Good things happen when you smile or when you’re naked.

44 shares on YouTube this month:

There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.

17 shares on TikTok this month:

The shrooms told me that we need to get our shit together. That humanity is a bundle of bad habits. I’m headed back in a few weeks, and they need a response from us. What do I tell them?

84 shares on Threads this month:

Drugs and alcohol take years off your life and give them to Keith Richards.

72 shares on Telegram this month:

Toasters aren’t governed by that little dial. They have free will.

97 shares on Messenger this month:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched the argument I baited you with.

66 shares on Slack this month:

That awesome moment when you open the fridge and the first thing you see is the thing you wanted to eat.

93 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s cold and dark outside, made me think of you.

58 shares on Discord this month:

Just did my best horse impression and the doctor still won’t give me ketamine.

55 shares on Threads this month:

Sometimes I clean my room so dramatically, it feels like I’m erasing evidence.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

The tarot lady on my TikTok said that you miss me.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

I’m like … if parking too far away from the curb was a person.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

The real advantage of being self-employed is that you don’t have to go to a Christmas party.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

I hope the aliens aren’t good at basketball. My chances of making it into the NBA are already slim.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Billionaires are so weird. What are you saving up for? Hell?

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

I just want to find someone that gets annoyed by the same things as I do.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Why are “hemorrhoids” not called “assteroids”?

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

I didn’t go to the Carribean, my tan is from standing in front of the rotisserie chicken at Costco.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Men with bibles names be the worst type of people.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Today in who needs an alarm: my kid woke me up early by scream-whispering WHAT IS DUST?

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Sleeping is nice, because you’re not actually dead and you’re not awake, so its a win-win situation.

Going viral on Facebook:

Parents become grandparents and lose all their senses. All of a sudden, they got McDonald’s money now.

Spotted on Discord:

Anyone know how to get an air guitar out of a vacuum?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I wanna be a jellyfish— no heart, no brain, no feelings, no pain— just blub blub blub.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I’m tired of being an adult. Therefore, I will be stepping down. Thank you!

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

You misunderstood me. I said I was a “bawler,” not a “baller.” You know, someone who cries a lot.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I’m a freak in the spreadsheets.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Everyone wants a goth girlfriend until she starts doing goth things.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I am officially at the age where old people think I am young and young people think I am old.

Spreading quickly via X:

When someone sits in the empty seat beside you: flattered yet annoyed. When no one sits in the empty seat beside you: offended yet relieved.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

People who think naps are a waste of time obviously don’t understand how naps work.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My daily exercise routine involves running late, jumping to conclusions and pushing my luck.

I can’t believe she picked her husband, her boyfriend and her other boyfriend over me.

When I die, I want to come back as a speed bump so I can piss people off.

Men don’t chew on toothpicks all day anymore.

We need an app where introverts can pay extroverts to make phone calls for them.

You can say “Have a nice day,” no problem, but saying “Enjoy the next 24 hours” sounds vaguely threatening.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨