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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Incense sticks are just disappointing sparklers.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Dear deodorant manufacturers, please stop writing “72h” on your products. There are people who believe that. And they sit next to me on the bus. Always. All of them!

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

If men didn’t exist, I would simply go for a 2 a.m. walk every night and listen to music in my AirPods.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

There is too much happening for mid-December. Where are the canceled meetings? Why are we not circling back next year?

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Okay, seen enough, someone put a blanket over my cage.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Post-standing clarity is like, damn, I could have been sitting this whole time.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Tidying up usually ends up with you sitting somewhere and playing around with things you found while tidying up.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Oasis didn’t just write good songs. They wrote the soundtrack for a whole generation.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

I hate taking my pants off at the dentist. So humiliating.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

I just saw someone on TikTok say that the reason the world didn’t end in 2012 is because Psy turned the Honmoon gold with Gangnam Style.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,651

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

You’re confusing me with someone who cares what you think of me.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.

Seen just now on Messenger:

You’d think the heat and humidity would steam some of the wrinkles out of my body.

Making waves on Messenger:

I didn’t know that Rome wasn’t built in a day. I wasn’t on that job.

Just shared via X:

I never give second chances, just 10 and then goodbye.

Just landed via X:

Nobody is busier than a woman who isn’t into you.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

No more learning experiences, please, God. I am smart enough.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Sometimes the voices in my head get bullied by the voices in my stomach.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Victor Frankenstein being only 23 years old when he made the monster is crazy to me, he should have been at the club.

Spotted on Discord:

You look like the type of person that would fart in bed and Dutch Oven yourself.

People will be like “Nobody cares about your Spotify Wrapped,” and then post a picture of their baby.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
My baby didn't pull an all-nighter listening to lo-fi beats, but they've dropped some sick beats at 3 AM 😂🎶👶

baby, humor, irony, media, nobody, people, picture, post, sharing, social, social media, Spotify, Spotify Wrapped, wrapped

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

People who take naps are the real heroes. It takes courage to wake up twice in one day.

0

2 months ago

bravery, courage, day, hero, humor, nap, naps, people, real, sleep, take, twice, wake, wake up
I commented to a friend that I didn’t know how goofy Scream was. It turns out I have never seen Scream. I saw Scary Movie.

0

2 months ago

comment, friend, Goofy, humor, i, know, misunderstanding, movie, never, saw, scary, Scary Movie, scream, seen
Have an early flight tomorrow, so naturally I’m going to stay up late tonight and be weird in my room.

0

2 months ago

behavior, early, flight, going, humor, irony, late, late night, mood, naturally, night, night owl, owl, procrastination, room, schedule, self-deprecating, sleep, sleep schedule, stay, tomorrow, tonight, weird, weird behavior
Haunted house idea: a poorly lit Walmart littered with people you haven’t seen since high school.

0

2 months ago

crowd, haunted, haunted house, high, high school, house, humor, idea, lighting, lit, nostalgia, people, poorly, reunion, school, seen, shopping, spooky, Walmart
Got out of jury duty yesterday by confessing to the crime.

0

2 months ago

confession, crime, duty, escape, funny situation, got, humor, jury, jury duty, situation, yesterday
Anything is free if you can outrun security. The more you know.

0

2 months ago

advice, free, humor, know, knowledge, outrun, risk, security, theft

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on Slack this month:

This gratitude journal looks a lot like a grocery list.

21 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Today, I want to talk about how people’s houses smell funny, but mine doesn’t.

27 shares on YouTube this month:

I think airplanes would be way cooler if the wings flapped like a bird.

79 shares on TikTok this month:

He’s a 10, but it’s the pain scale.

94 shares on Threads this month:

In the future, there will be grandmas who can’t bake but have tattoos on their backs.

22 shares on Facebook this month:

I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

38 shares on TikTok this month:

Refusing to attend my brother’s gambling intervention until they agree to call it a slot shaming.

87 shares on Slack this month:

I’m not an alcoholic, I only drink twice a year. When it’s sunny, and when it isn’t.

77 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Who you are before you have your coffee is the real you.

53 shares on Twitch this month:

A good relationship is when she is by your side during bad times to tell you that none of this would have happened if you had just listened to her.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Catching me in person is rare. I move like a ghost.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Call me dramatic, but I think I deserve a love confession in the rain.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

I never give second chances, just 10 and then goodbye.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Most of being a woman is just removing exclamation points from emails before you send them.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

If Liverpool play Real Madrid right now, both teams will lose the game.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Icarus loved hot wings.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

I hope this email kills us both.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

I handed in my exam blank so that the teacher has more time to celebrate Christmas with her family.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

You’re in her DMs. I’m accidentally reposting reels of Tibetan foxes because I don’t know how to use the app anymore.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

What is rizz if not swag persevering?!

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

Cataclysmic events, such as your fingers on my skin.

Going viral on Slack:

Am simultaneously the family’s black sheep and gold star, and that’s exactly why I’m the way I am.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Why do humans need jobs? Why can’t I just exist and make art and chill with my cat?

Shared recently on Facebook:

So stupid how New York is actually as cool as everyone says.

Going viral on TikTok:

Forget hot girl summer, it’s rot girl summer (laying in bed, reading books, laying under layers of soft blankets).

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Garlic and bread is the only marriage I truly have faith in.

Making waves on WeChat:

Me going to work because I’m too honest to scam people, too shy to be an influencer, too good for a sugar daddy, and too dumb for crypto.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

That depressing moment when you start your car to go to work and it doesn’t explode.

Live now on YouTube:

The year I was born, getting a little far on that little scrolly thing.

Breaking via Instagram:

4 out 3 people struggle with math.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

People will be like “Nobody cares about your Spotify Wrapped,” and then post a picture of their baby.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

People who take naps are the real heroes. It takes courage to wake up twice in one day.

I commented to a friend that I didn’t know how goofy Scream was. It turns out I have never seen Scream. I saw Scary Movie.

Have an early flight tomorrow, so naturally I’m going to stay up late tonight and be weird in my room.

Haunted house idea: a poorly lit Walmart littered with people you haven’t seen since high school.

Got out of jury duty yesterday by confessing to the crime.

Anything is free if you can outrun security. The more you know.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨