Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Goodbye, August, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Shoutout to all ladies dating silently without making noise on social media. May God give you another man as a bonus.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

My sweatpants sat me down and said they want me to get an office job again.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

I would like to have the peace of mind of a cow. I already have the body.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

My retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding a buried treasure at some point.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

I used to be so graceful, now I am like a puppy with a box stuck on her head.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

My favorite unit of measurement is smithereens.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

I like when the rain is misty and you get to feel like a grocery store broccoli for a little while.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

I have consumed so much potato salad the last couple of days, I’m sweating mayo.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

334 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,603

Funny Quotes Topics

17,660

Funny Quotes Images

15,603

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,687

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

I’ve never wished a man dead, but I’ve read some obituaries with great pleasure.

Live now on Reddit:

Laying next to my charger waiting for my phone to die, that’s how lazy I am.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

If someone asks why you’re so pale, simply reply, completely shocked, “You can see me?”

Shared recently on X:

We can put a man on the moon but we can’t find a good way to drink wine from a lying down position.

Live now on Messenger:

I am in favor of equal pay for men on OnlyFans.

Freshly posted on Discord:

If David Bowie taught us anything, it’s that being a little weird is better than being forgettable.

Shared recently on Instagram:

“You don’t load the dishwasher right,” I said to my wife just before it permanently became my job.

Making waves on Messenger:

Please congratulate me on my cool new position! It is the fetal position; I will be in it for a while.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

The quickest way to get your kid to do their homework is to ask them to help with some chores.

Trending via WhatsApp:

You’d think someone in the room would’ve spoken up like “hey guys, maybe it’s a bad idea to make one ring to rule them all”.

Play the Grindr notification noise at Christmas dinner to see which conservative relatives panickedly check their phone ringer.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess who just turned the family feast into a game of "Who's Secretly Swiping?" 😂📱🔍

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My dad must pay my monthly cell phone bill as atonement for his original sin of creating my consciousness.

6 months ago

atonement, bill, cell, cell phone bill, consciousness, creating, dad, family, humor, monthly, original, original sin, pay, phone, responsibility, sin
The grass is only greener on the other side because of all the bullshit on it.

2 months ago

bullshit, grass, greener, humor, life, only, perspective, reality, side
Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.

2 months ago

context, humor, live, living, me, neighbor, neighbors, next, rude
Cats love to wake you up and go back to sleep. It’s part of their culture.

2 months ago

back, behavior, cat, cats, culture, love, pet, pet behavior, sleep, wake, wake up
As you get older, nothing loses its sting more than an authority figure saying they are disappointed in you. Like, I don’t know what to tell you, dude, we can’t both live in the prison of your expectations.

2 months ago

age, authority, disappointment, dude, expectations, figure, humor, i, know, life, live, nothing, older, prison, relationships, saying, sting, tell
I’m old enough to remember when rainbows were in black and white.

2 months ago

black, black and white, enough, humor, memory, nostalgia, old, rainbow, remember, white

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Pinterest this month:

I made all my money in the 80s selling Rubik’s Hammers. They were for those cubes that thought they were smarter than you.

49 shares on Messenger this month:

I love how we didn’t raise the minimum wage because it would make food more expensive, but then just made the food more expensive anyway.

13 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Gosh, being a princess is exhausting.

46 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The feminine urge to act clueless while knowing everything.

63 shares on Pinterest this month:

“I’m at that stage of Christmas shopping where I start buying myself presents.”

58 shares on Instagram this month:

Brainwashing is always considered terrible and horrible. But there are many brains that would benefit from a wash.

93 shares on Snapchat this month:

My husband and I are doing a workshop. He works and I’ll shop.

85 shares on TikTok this month:

The word Ohio looks like a tractor.

54 shares on Telegram this month:

Just worked out for 2 hours straight and 1 hour gay.

68 shares on X this month:

Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 10. Simple meth.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

When life hands me lemons, I put them in the fridge next to the bagged salad I’m also not going to eat.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Be the elephant you wish to see in the room.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

I wish the homes of all my friends were connected to mine by secret underground tunnels.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

The dumbest thing about YouTube ads is how they seem to think that I’m a moron.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

I need a job with a salary that’ll shock me every month.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Taking a Hooters waitress on a date to a different Hooters on her night off.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

I prefer to use deodorant immediately after shaving my armpits so that I can feel that I’m still alive.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and ask for water.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Accidentally turned my clocks back too far and ended up at a Wham concert.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

My dental hygienist is probably thinking, I bet i could braid this guys nose hair.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via X:

When you’re sad, find two equally sad friends and form a cryangle.

Live now on Slack:

You hit a couple of curbs, take out a trash can and all of a sudden it’s “you can’t drive”.

Going viral on Discord:

Think that’s enough todaying for today.

Making waves on Messenger:

My therapist says I’m preoccupied with revenge. She’s going to regret that.

Trending via Twitch:

An Amish party in the desert called churning man.

Going viral on TikTok:

You know you got a bad haircut when she insists on giving you a $10 discount.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I’m ugly but I can make u laugh.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I’ve decided that my 20s are actually from 25 – 35.

Going viral on Slack:

The phone is the most evil screen. The computer is somewhat evil, but less so than the phone. The TV is benevolent.

Spreading quickly via X:

I would love to go back to the days when the biggest stress was finding the best hiding place when playing hide and seek.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Play the Grindr notification noise at Christmas dinner to see which conservative relatives panickedly check their phone ringer.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My dad must pay my monthly cell phone bill as atonement for his original sin of creating my consciousness.

The grass is only greener on the other side because of all the bullshit on it.

Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.

Cats love to wake you up and go back to sleep. It’s part of their culture.

As you get older, nothing loses its sting more than an authority figure saying they are disappointed in you. Like, I don’t know what to tell you, dude, we can’t both live in the prison of your expectations.

I’m old enough to remember when rainbows were in black and white.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨