Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

The history of mankind would have been completely different if Adam and Eve had been Chinese. They would have left the apple hanging and eaten the snake.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

If an alien is 60 million light years away and is watching us through a telescope, it will see dinosaurs.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

I was dropped as an adult.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

About 40 muscles are activated when you eat just one donut. Follow me for more fitness advice.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

I know it’s bad, and you’ve got to shut it down right away, but is there anything more hilarious than a swearing toddler?

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

If you’re not in my circle of trust, you’re probably in my triangle of suspicion or rhombus of doubt.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Be bold, be italic, but never regular.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Girls actually do love nice guys. It’s just that you’re not as nice a guy as you think you are…

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

There should be an opposite of Valentine’s Day where you post Instagram photos of your enemy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,604

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

It’s that time of year again where I go to random restaurants to tell random women, “So this is why you cancelled our date?”, while they’re out with their significant others.

Breaking via WeChat:

Pro Tip: Never make snow angels in a dog park.

Going viral on Discord:

“Dairy Queen” is actually the perfect drag name.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Me, with $33 left after paying bills: Let’s see how much a Land Rover costs.

Just shared via Facebook:

When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Absurdity is the spice of life.

Trending via Discord:

Interviewer: “What did you learn from your previous job?” Me: “That I need a new job.”

Just landed via Reddit:

Stop asking a clown why he keeps acting like a clown, ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Just landed via Snapchat:

A fun thing to do at work is call in sick and stay home.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Wonder what I should wear to World War III.

Play the Grindr notification noise at Christmas dinner to see which conservative relatives panickedly check their phone ringer.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess who just turned the family feast into a game of "Who's Secretly Swiping?" 😂📱🔍

check, Christmas, Christmas dinner, conservative, conservative relative, dinner, experiment, family, family gathering, gathering, Grindr, humor, noise, notification, notification noise, phone, phone ringer, play, prank, relative, ringer, social, social experiment

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I am half agony, half hope.

0

1 month ago

agony, am, contrast, emotion, half, hope, humor, i, irony, struggle, wit
And then there are people who can only sleep on their back because their pea brain could slip out of their ear if they lie on their side.

0

2 months ago

back, brain, ear, humor, lie, only, pea, people, side, sleep
I like people who make me forget that I’m shy.

0

2 months ago

connection, forget, friendship, humor, i, me, people, personality, shy, social
There are two classes of travel: first class and with children.

0

2 months ago

children, class, family, first class, humor, parenting, travel, travel class
Everything I like is either expensive, illegal, or wont text me back.

0

1 month ago

back, disappointment, everything, expectations, expensive, humor, i, illegal, likes, me, relationships, text, texting
Breaking News: No matter how close you are with your colleagues, never discuss your personal matters at work. Neverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

0

1 month ago

advice, breaking, breaking news, close, colleague, colleagues, discussion, humor, matter, matters, never, news, personal, personal matter, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on Reddit this month:

A fitness trainer showed me the proper way to inhale and exhale and then got pissed when I told her she had nice breaths.

47 shares on Twitch this month:

Welcome to adulthood: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

55 shares on TikTok this month:

You cannot go outside for a year or two. Come back, and the same people still be outside in the same places.

68 shares on Facebook this month:

A Jackie Chan fight scene where he’s in an IKEA warehouse and he fights off dudes with furniture pieces, but by the end he’s accidentally assembled it all into a complete Malm bedroom set.

64 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The brand name Oral B is so funny to me. WTF does the B stand for?

10 shares on YouTube this month:

During childbirth, women are in so much pain that it is almost possible for them to feel what men have to endure when they have a cold.

82 shares on Instagram this month:

The worst part of a fender bender is having to get out of your car and meet a new person.

25 shares on Twitch this month:

Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.

82 shares on Telegram this month:

Parenting a teenager is surreal because you’ll be sitting there, and some dude who is much taller than you will walk around the corner and ask you how to open a popcorn bag.

80 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sorry, Mom, I can’t go outside, I’m ugly.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

I don’t want to sleep like a baby, I want to sleep like a cat. 14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

I told my psychiatrist I’ve been hearing voices lately. He told me I don’t have a psychiatrist.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Showering & getting in bed is literally one of the best combos ever.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Forget a dinner date, let’s go sit in court listening to people’s cases.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

I can’t wait to get married so I can bring home unnecessary stuff and get yelled at for it.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Just done a HIIT workout and if anyone sees me trying to do that again just go ahead and hiit me in the face.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Apple want $3,500 for their Vision Pro. No thanks. I can look like a dork for free.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

How do I get someone to unknow me? I no longer want to be known by these people.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Tonight we shall read a passage from the old testicle.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

They can steal your recipe, but the sauce won’t taste the same.

Just shared via Threads:

D was probably like “lmao ok” when they named the alphabet the ABCs

Just landed via Twitch:

Blocking anyone who tries to motivate me.

Shared recently on Discord:

Don’t tell me about your wild weekend. My TV remote died and I switched the batteries around, and now it’s working.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Dear 8 hours of sleep, I miss you so much.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Hey boy, are you my period? Because you’re annoying as hell but I still wanna see you regularly.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Pretty sure I need to go back to bed and sleep for 3 days.

Just shared via Slack:

My five-year plan only requires a few acts of God.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Every CVS has its own unique energy that’s powerful enough to exalt or destroy the individual.

Going viral on Instagram:

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Play the Grindr notification noise at Christmas dinner to see which conservative relatives panickedly check their phone ringer.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I am half agony, half hope.

And then there are people who can only sleep on their back because their pea brain could slip out of their ear if they lie on their side.

I like people who make me forget that I’m shy.

There are two classes of travel: first class and with children.

Everything I like is either expensive, illegal, or wont text me back.

Breaking News: No matter how close you are with your colleagues, never discuss your personal matters at work. Neverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨