Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

It’s amazing how music can transport you to another place. For example, this coffee shop is playing Justin Bieber, so I’m going to another restaurant.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

I don’t wish anyone strife in their relationship but I do wish my neighbors would enunciate a little more when they fight so I can hear better.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Women watch Netflix with subtitles because they don’t know how to listen.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Life is pretty much just a series of awkward and embarrassing moments, separated by snacks.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

I’ve done the math and I regret to inform you I’m your soulmate.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Do y’all ever think about how, in Korean, you can’t scream over text because there’s no uppercase… I think about that all the time, for some reason.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

My kid asked me if I’ve ever experienced hallucinations, which is an odd thing to ask considering I don’t have any kids.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

“You’re so quick to cut someone off!” God forbid a girl actually has self-respect.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

I’m not into casual sex. Send me a résumé.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

354 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,623

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,623

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,500

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I hate it when I go to hug someone sexy and hit my head on the mirror.

Trending via Instagram:

My favorite thing to do when I see people I know in public is to pretend I didn’t.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I hate when people ask me what I meant by something. Listen, I have no idea. I’m as confused here as you are. We’re both learning what I’m about to say at the exact same time.

Spotted on Facebook:

I’m quitting my job to do topless tarot readings on the beach.

Making waves on WeChat:

Breaking via TikTok:

I wonder if the scariest moment ever in history has happened yet.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

People out there having five-year plans, and here I am waking up just hoping I remember what day it is.

Just landed via Slack:

I don’t always listen to Metallica, but when I do, so do my neighbors.

Shared recently on Slack:

Polish girls are just winter Latinas.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Egg nog was invented in Germany back in 1816 when Baron von Heldebrandt reportedly said “Hey guys, let’s get this custard drunk!”

Play the Grindr notification noise at Christmas dinner to see which conservative relatives panickedly check their phone ringer.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess who just turned the family feast into a game of "Who's Secretly Swiping?" 😂📱🔍

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Everyone’s “the nicest guy ever” until the cops are in their backyard digging up several bodies.

2 months ago

backyard, body, cops, crime, dark, dark humor, deception, digging, ever, guy, humor, police, reputation, sarcasm
Not now, kitten. Mommy’s destroying and betraying herself for nothing.

2 months ago

betrayal, betraying, destroying, humor, kitten, mommy, nothing, sarcasm, self-destruction
The thing I hate most about my stationary bike is having to pick it up and turn it around for the return trip.

2 months ago

around, bike, exercise, hate, having, humor, i, pick, pick-up, return, return trip, stationary, stationary bike, thing, trip, turn, turn around, workout
If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge.

2 months ago

craving, food, food humor, fridge, fridge light, humor, joke, kitchen, kitchen joke, late, late night, light, midnight, midnight craving, midnight snack, night, snack, snack time, time
It’s called a Caesar Salad because you stab it a bunch of times when you eat it.

2 months ago

Caesar, caesar salad, cooking, eat, food, food humor, funny food, humor, joke, salad, stab, times
I am physically, mentally and emotionally ready to enter a new phase in my life…. hibernation.

3 months ago

am, emotionally, hibernation, i, life, mentally, new, new phase, phase, physically, ready

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on WhatsApp this month:

People shouldn’t be at the grocery store the same time as me. Get out of the way.

30 shares on Facebook this month:

Accidentally clicked a post about UFOs, and now my Facebook algorithm thinks I’m a much different person.

25 shares on TikTok this month:

Bragging about how I’ve “really turned my life around recently” without mentioning in which direction.

37 shares on Pinterest this month:

I tried being the bigger person but all it got me was type 2 diabetes.

52 shares on Twitch this month:

Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

68 shares on Twitch this month:

Every day, a new coworker asks if you’ve used ChatGPT, and the conversation doesn’t end if you say “No.”

17 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If I ever go missing, check the snack aisle. I’m probably just deciding.

80 shares on Facebook this month:

January-me would not believe the life I lived this year.

13 shares on Facebook this month:

Dry January is out. Sopping Wet February is in.

86 shares on TikTok this month:

You will meet a girl who is very strange and a little bit evil. It’s really important that you don’t lose me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Sometimes I think about Adam and Eve and how they couldn’t even get a babysitter.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Parents be like “Boys are easier,” and then their daughter has to save the family from ruin.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun to not be able to open that drawer.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Debugging is like being the detective in a crime where you are also the murderer. Following the clues of an idiot.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Some people are like ads, just skip.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Humans are the only species that would cut down trees, make paper out of them, and then write “Save the Trees” on it.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Dating over 40 is like Hide and Seek but no one is looking for you.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

When I don’t have money, I stop talking to women out of respect.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

If it ain’t broke, my kids haven’t used it yet.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Returned my 3D printer, but not before making a 3D printer with it.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

It was all revealed to me in a delusion.

Breaking via Discord:

Never underestimate the healing power of a grilled cheese sandwich.

Live now on Reddit:

Tensing up so the masseuse doesn’t win.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

No ChatGPT for me, thanks. I will be asking Liam Gallagher on Twitter.

Shared recently on Messenger:

There are drug-sniffing dogs, guide dogs, dogs that save lives. And then there’s my dog, who hits the lead when he poops.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Pretty sure they’re naming prescription drugs by just grabbing random Scrabble tiles. “Oh hey, Qdilrox sounds good.”

Just shared via Facebook:

I got called “pretty” today! Well, the full sentence was “You’re pretty annoying,” but I only focus on the positive things.

Live now on Discord:

I can usually cope with the opinions of others because I don’t listen.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

People remind me everyday why I prefer being on my own.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

In English we say: “You changed.” But in poetry we say: “You became a stranger wearing the face I used to love, and I am haunted by the ghost of who you were.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Play the Grindr notification noise at Christmas dinner to see which conservative relatives panickedly check their phone ringer.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Everyone’s “the nicest guy ever” until the cops are in their backyard digging up several bodies.

Not now, kitten. Mommy’s destroying and betraying herself for nothing.

The thing I hate most about my stationary bike is having to pick it up and turn it around for the return trip.

If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge.

It’s called a Caesar Salad because you stab it a bunch of times when you eat it.

I am physically, mentally and emotionally ready to enter a new phase in my life…. hibernation.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨