Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Super excited for a brand new week of hoping for the best, but expecting the worst.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

I could put my keys in the same spot every day, but why deprive myself of a treasure hunt that makes me late.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

By the time he entered rehab, Popeye was more spinach than sailor man.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Being liked at work comes with so many perks, you could be late as hell, and everyone is just happy to see you.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

I lied, there’s no sex. Stand over there and tell me if this painting I’m hanging is straight.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Done with work today. The work day isn’t over, I’m just done with it.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

“It’s Raining Men” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” are the same song from different points of view.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand how spending more money than I earn is irresponsible. I’m giving more than I take. I’m generous.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

The only problem I have with chocolate is that one minute it’s there and the next it’s not.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,857

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Instagram:

Sometimes my body needs to be punished by Taco Bell.

Trending via Discord:

I actually check my emails every day in hopes I’m going to get some life-changing news someday.

Going viral on Messenger:

So far, every Miss Universe winner has been from Earth.

Spotted on Telegram:

Building a snowman so I can punch it in the face.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Y’all ever skip a class and then have the post-skip class depression? Like, damn, I should’ve just gone.

Just shared via Instagram:

Job interview: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: Hopefully on a sabbatical.

Spotted on YouTube:

Every day is leg day when you’re running from your problems.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I have a condition where if I don’t walk as fast as humanly possible wherever I go, I will die. I’m like the bus in Speed.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Boxes of pasta don’t need a plastic window. I believe pasta is in the box.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Back to work at last! I couldn’t sleep for sheer anticipation.

Play the Grindr notification noise at Christmas dinner to see which conservative relatives panickedly check their phone ringer.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess who just turned the family feast into a game of "Who's Secretly Swiping?" 😂📱🔍

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

0

1 month ago

feetish, fetish, foot, humor, just, pun, should, wordplay
My ex texted me saying, “Hey, I miss you,” so I replied, “Sorry, I have zero bars — the past doesn’t have good reception.”

0

1 month ago

breakup, communication, ex, good, humor, i, me, miss, past, reception, reply, saying, sorry, technology, text, zero
Establish dominance over your cat by suddenly bolting out of the room for no reason.

0

1 month ago

activity, behavior, cat, dominance, entertainment, funny activity, humor, mischievous, over, owner, pet, pet behavior, pet owner, playful, reason, room, unexpected
I had too much to think last night.

0

4 months ago

humor, i, last, much, night, overthinking, think, thinking, too
Why do you assume it’s invalid to “make stuff up” during an argument? It shows initiative and creativity.

0

2 months ago

argument, creativity, debate, humor, imagination, initiative, logic, shows, stuff
There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

0

2 months ago

activity, entertainment, expectation, family, fun, humor, thing, whole

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on Reddit this month:

Happy Earth Day. You don’t look a day over 4 billion years and get hotter every year.

35 shares on LinkedIn this month:

This meeting could have been a pajama party.

80 shares on Telegram this month:

She’s got style, she’s got grace, she crams french fries in her face.

36 shares on Discord this month:

If it ain’t broke, my kids haven’t used it yet.

33 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Might mess around and reply to all work emails with “make me”.

82 shares on Threads this month:

It’s time for basic human empathy to make a comeback.

49 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Social media needs to crash for like a year so everybody can snap back into reality.

84 shares on Instagram this month:

When buying presents I like to think, what would Jesus have got you? So yeah, enjoy your fish sandwich.

81 shares on Instagram this month:

The ideal man is always thinking of several cool things at once (throwing a football really far, a truck with big wheels, giving a lot of high fives).

42 shares on Threads this month:

Sorry, I had feelings. I’ll replace them with jokes right away.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

In the 80s, you could literally shrink your kids with a shrink-ray, and your wife wouldn’t divorce you. I’m pretty sure I saw a documentary film about it.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

I want a pet eagle that’s trained to steal people’s sandwiches for me.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

That incredible ability of cats to only throw up on carpeted floors.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Divorce is so weird. Why do I have an ex-aunt?

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Fun fact: The confetti you’ll see in Times Square tonight was made from one CVS receipt.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

I don’t always clear my calculator… but when I do, I hit both ‘C’ and ‘CE’ a bunch of times because I don’t know exactly what they do.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

My favorite hobby is withering away.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

When I was a kid, I had to walk to Netflix.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Hate when anxiety gives me stomach problems. Like, baby, you are supposed to be a mental disorder, please stay in your line.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Hate when other parents at school drop off act like they’re better than me just because they remembered to bring all of their children.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

If the math problems are too difficult for me, I post them online and write: “Only 1 in 10 can solve this problem.”

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Make sure you stock up on condoms, so you don’t produce any more idiots.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

If you tell me to watch until the end, the end better be in five seconds.

Going viral on Telegram:

Hello bedtime my old friend, my brain is laughing once again.

Making waves on Messenger:

People who often talk to themselves are more intelligent than others. At least that’s what I tell myself.

Just shared via Threads:

Some people feel like unpaid actors in my sitcom called “What Fresh Chaos Is This?”

Shared recently on Reddit:

Sometimes I wish I had a speed bump between my brain and my mouth.

Seen just now on Facebook:

This salad tastes like I’d rather be fat.

Shared recently on X:

A dating app for people who are way too into cookies, called Crumble.

Live now on Telegram:

Adulthood is basically just trying to fall asleep at night and stay awake during the day.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Play the Grindr notification noise at Christmas dinner to see which conservative relatives panickedly check their phone ringer.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

My ex texted me saying, “Hey, I miss you,” so I replied, “Sorry, I have zero bars — the past doesn’t have good reception.”

Establish dominance over your cat by suddenly bolting out of the room for no reason.

I had too much to think last night.

Why do you assume it’s invalid to “make stuff up” during an argument? It shows initiative and creativity.

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨