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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

My savings account has been empty for so long that a Spirit Halloween just opened up inside it.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Gender is a just a scam made by big bathroom companies to sell more bathrooms.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Guys, please stop wearing NASA shirts, I bet you can’t even name one of their songs.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

I can’t take people who pronounce “gnocchi” correctly seriously.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Apparently, all my new nephew wants to do is eat and sleep, which means he’s already a lot like me.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

I need a room full of mirrors because I want to be surrounded by winners.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

In my defense, Your Honor, I was left unsupervised.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

People need to understand the difference between want and need. Like, I want abs, but I need chocolate.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

I’m not moody; I’m just on shuffle.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

The concept of dominant hands is hilarious to me. That one of our hands is just like, “No, I’m not helping.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,660

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

August is almost over. September is next week. Time to pick out a Halloween costume and start your Christmas shopping. Happy New Year, everybody.

Just shared via Pinterest:

So, Earth is basically auditions for heaven and hell.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your clothes are still in the washing machine.

Spotted on TikTok:

My phone went from fully charged to 10% while I was sleeping, so I guess it leads a more exciting nightlife than I do.

Just landed via TikTok:

This economy requires two hustlers working together – not a hustler and a leech. It’s too expensive to be out here carrying dead weight.

Just shared via Discord:

I read somewhere on the internet that 87% of what you read on the internet isn’t true, and I believe it.

Going viral on TikTok:

The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice-cream.

Just shared via Slack:

People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders.

Making waves on TikTok:

Remember: when a band skips your city on tour, it is always personal and they always hate you specifically.

Just landed via Telegram:

As a child, I had the impression that I would be offered free drugs by strangers much more frequently than the 0 times it’s happened.

Please leave me alone. I’m just a 3,000-year-old time-traveling alien who is trying to return to his home planet.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
So that's why you always know when the coffee is brewing 😄👽🛸

alien, alone, ancient, home, home planet, humor, just, leave, loneliness, me, planet, please, return, sci-fi, time, time travel, travel, trying

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

There should be a withering shamrock emoji so that people can express misfortune or Irish grief.

0

2 months ago

communication, cultural, cultural reference, digital, digital expression, emoji, emoji expression, express, expression, grief, humor, humorous, humorous quote, irish, Irish grief, Irish humor, misfortune, online, online communication, people, reference, shamrock, shamrock emoji, should
Last night my guardian angel came to me, covered me up, gave me a kiss on the forehead and whispered in my ear: “You’re a pain in the ass!”

0

2 months ago

angel, ass, came, ear, forehead, guardian, guardian angel, humor, kiss, last, me, night, pain, relationship, sarcasm, whisper
Nonchalant men are not for me. I want mine to have a panic attack if we’re not talking.

0

2 months ago

attack, communication, emotional, emotional intensity, i, intensity, man, me, men, mine, nonchalant, nonchalant man, panic, panic attack, relationship, talking, want
Someone was saying that social media makes you miss out on your real life, but have you seen real life?

0

2 months ago

comparison, funny observation, humor, irony, life, life comparison, media, miss, miss out, observation, real, real life, saying, seen, social, social media, someone
College core: you sit in the class for attendance, then go home and teach yourself.

0

3 months ago

attendance, class, college, core, core class, home, learning, self, self learning, sit, teach, teach yourself, yourself
The void screams into me.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, existential, humor, irony, me, scream, screams, self-reflection, void

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on Facebook this month:

My toxic trait is when I’m bored, I start looking for flights to book.

25 shares on Facebook this month:

“I’m fluent in creating worst-case scenarios in my head.”

30 shares on LinkedIn this month:

For the amount of meat you get out of clam, I feel like we could just leave them alone.

94 shares on WeChat this month:

I got one brain cell left and it moves around my head like a Windows screensaver.

69 shares on Threads this month:

Did 900 crunches today. It was a bag of Cheetos, but still.

77 shares on Threads this month:

You don’t use a semicolons correctly; you use a semicolon confidently.

45 shares on Telegram this month:

Cocaine is God’s way of telling you that you make too much money.

27 shares on Pinterest this month:

Yes, I sometimes put my cell phone down. Especially when it rings.

22 shares on Reddit this month:

Dark mode changed me. White screens now feel like staring into the sun.

21 shares on Slack this month:

Me in hell: “So did it hurt when you fell from heaven.” Lucifer: “Get out!”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Unfortunately for everyone, I will keep doing whatever I want.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Can anyone recommend some basic intrusive thoughts for someone looking to get into anxiety?

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

The feminine urge to start a coven.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

In an alternate universe, sex dreams of me.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re searching “Thanksgiving recipes that won’t cause heartburn.”

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Curly fries are my favorite as they’re salty and spiraling, like me.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Humanity doesn’t always make a compelling case for its continued existence.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Can someone please invent 8 hours between 9 p.m. and midnight?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Three drinks in and that skateboard outside is looking rideable.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

There’s only one way we’ll at least occasionally get normal elected officials and that’s if we pick them by random lottery.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

I love when men go on diets they will be like “let me go for the healthy option”: the buffalo chicken quesadilla.

Seen just now on Threads:

Man, you really don’t appreciate not having something in your eye until you have something in your eye.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

The plan was simple: finish school, find a job and get married at 25. But now I don’t understand anything anymore.

Making waves on Messenger:

My kids couldn’t care less about personal hygiene unless we are running late somewhere.

Going viral on Messenger:

Kind of miraculous how much love can be summoned and how much your day can be improved by just looking at an animal and saying stuff in a weird voice.

Trending via WeChat:

Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us.

Making waves on YouTube:

Nicknamed my iPhone Lois Lane because it doesn’t recognize me without my glasses on either.

Freshly posted on Threads:

The problem with expensive things is that you tend to want them.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Incredibly annoying that exercising, eating right, and drinking water can make you actually feel good.

Making waves on Instagram:

If dogs ever learn to talk, I want everyone to keep in mind that mine is a big fat liar.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Please leave me alone. I’m just a 3,000-year-old time-traveling alien who is trying to return to his home planet.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

There should be a withering shamrock emoji so that people can express misfortune or Irish grief.

Last night my guardian angel came to me, covered me up, gave me a kiss on the forehead and whispered in my ear: “You’re a pain in the ass!”

Nonchalant men are not for me. I want mine to have a panic attack if we’re not talking.

Someone was saying that social media makes you miss out on your real life, but have you seen real life?

College core: you sit in the class for attendance, then go home and teach yourself.

The void screams into me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨