Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

It whistles, doesn’t it? Your head when it’s windy.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

In Hell, “Cotton Eye Joe” plays on an eternal loop. The heat and fire are actually pleasant compared to that.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Tip on how best to start a conversation with me: Not at all.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Biblical loophole: It’s not premarital sex if you never intend to get married.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Apparently, it’s rude to poke someone in the forehead and yell “Skip Intro” when they start talking to you.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

People pleasing doesn’t go well with my black attire.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

I don’t get how alcohol turns y’all evil. I just start giggling and get slutty.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

You ran a half marathon? That’s really cool, I’ve almost finished a bunch of things, too.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

30s: Oh look, a dance floor! 50s: Oh look, a couch!

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Note: Press the button on the elevator as often as possible to activate the secret express function and speed up the thing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,601

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

Our parents were right all along, the music is too loud.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I don’t think either person should pay for the first date. It should be on the house.

Going viral on TikTok:

I don’t believe the phrase “if they wanted to, they would,” because I want to, and I don’t.

Just landed via Discord:

Let’s drink some whiskey and say too much.

Spotted on TikTok:

I grew up in a poor family. We didn’t have much, but we had each other. And that was the worst part.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I bought some old lady reading glasses as a lark, a laugh, and now my eyes don’t hurt. This isn’t what I wanted.

Making waves on Threads:

I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.

Just landed via Threads:

“Well at least I don’t have to wake up any more.” Is what I want my tombstone to say.

Making waves on Instagram:

I don’t even believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I giggle before I go crazy. Gotta start my engine.

Please stop fighting with each other on the internet and start fighting with each other in real life. Life is short.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Time to take online drama to the real-life octagon! 🥊😂📲

argument, conflict, fight, fighting, humor, internet, life, media, please, real, short, short life, social, social media, start, stop

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Everybody thinks “Free Hugs” signs are cute, unless you’re a boa constrictor.

0

2 months ago

animal, animal perspective, boa, boa constrictor, constrictor, cute, expectations, free, free hug, hug, humor, irony, joke, perspective, sign, signs
My sleeping pattern isn’t even a pattern anymore. It’s a lifestyle.

0

2 months ago

habits, humor, insomnia, lifestyle, pattern, rest, sleep, sleep habits, sleeping
Not to brag, but my children already knew everything I told them today.

0

6 days ago

brag, child, children, communication, everything, humor, i, irony, knowledge, parenting, today, told
I use subtitles so if I learn anything interesting I can say “I was reading about” instead of “I saw on an episode of Love Island”

0

2 months ago

anything, conversation, episode, humor, i, interesting, island, knowledge, learn, learning, love, Love Island, reading, saw, say, show, subtitles, TV, TV Show
I just want someone who can see through all my bullshit and hate me for who I really am.

0

5 months ago

am, authenticity, bullshit, hate, honesty, humor, i, just, love, me, personality, relationship, sarcasm, self-awareness, someone, through, trust, want
Do people with lip filler know that they look like that?

0

4 months ago

appearance, beauty, cosmetic, cosmetic procedure, filler, humor, know, lip, lip filler, people, procedure, self-awareness

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sometimes our greatest achievement in life is being able to survive our own thoughts.

93 shares on Slack this month:

Driving behind a salt truck on a snowy day is a Midwest police escort.

90 shares on Snapchat this month:

Ever read a post multiple times, still tilt your head and whisper, “What?!”

28 shares on Instagram this month:

I’ve worn oversized T-shirts so much that I suffocate if I wear one that actually fits.

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

Me, unwrapping a gift: Oh wow, an item. I love these!

96 shares on Slack this month:

I’d stalk me too, I get it.

39 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sometimes I watch people do their jobs, and I’m like, damn, you might benefit from a little imposter syndrome, actually.

90 shares on WeChat this month:

Every year I realize how dumb I was a year ago.

80 shares on TikTok this month:

Back in my day, if you were 14 on the internet, you kept that to yourself.

84 shares on Discord this month:

Damn, how much daylight are they trying to save? It’s dark as hell.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Maybe your baby is crying because it doesn’t like you.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Are you mad at me? Have you been mad at me? Will you be mad at me? When will you be mad at me?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

People out here living double lives, and I’m barely even holding a single life together.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Can’t wait for my husband to see what he bought everyone for Christmas.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Vaginally speaking, he seems nice.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Kinda worried about something. Don’t know what it is yet.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Everyone deserves a day to lie in bed naked and be anti-social. Just sayin’.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

It is a shame that nothing is built in America anymore. I just bought a TV that said: “Built in Antenna”. I don’t even know where that is.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m at the stage in life where I stay out of arguments. Even if you say 1+1=5, you’re right. Have fun.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Girl math is avoiding shipping costs by buying more.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

If you think one of my posts is about you, it isn’t. Except this one.

Shared recently on TikTok:

The best part about being married is having a permanent person to debrief with immediately after any social event.

Seen just now on Twitch:

My body’s check engine light has been on for years.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Never meeting another person again, so if I know you already, congrats!

Trending via WeChat:

Screen time on your computer feels like healthy screen time, screen time on your phone feels like evil screen time.

Live now on WeChat:

Now that I have a standing desk, I’m adding manual labor to my resume.

Just landed via Messenger:

Our parents used to drop us off at school with no water bottle, no phone and no snacks, yet somehow we survived.

Going viral on Messenger:

Have you ever been sitting around overthinking about overthinking, and then wonder why you’re even thinking that?

Just shared via Reddit:

I’m not going to die because of an accident. Nor because of an illness. But from small talk. Someone will say one boring sentence too many and I’ll drop dead.

Just shared via Facebook:

Everybody’s back hurts until it’s time to have sexy time.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Please stop fighting with each other on the internet and start fighting with each other in real life. Life is short.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Everybody thinks “Free Hugs” signs are cute, unless you’re a boa constrictor.

My sleeping pattern isn’t even a pattern anymore. It’s a lifestyle.

Not to brag, but my children already knew everything I told them today.

I use subtitles so if I learn anything interesting I can say “I was reading about” instead of “I saw on an episode of Love Island”

I just want someone who can see through all my bullshit and hate me for who I really am.

Do people with lip filler know that they look like that?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨