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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Explaining myself is too much work, just judge me.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

They need to increase life expectancy so I can squeeze in another mid-life crisis.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Irregardless, for all intensive purposes, I could care less.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Don’t you hate it when you buy veggies and when you get them home you realize they’re donuts?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Appliances always know when you’re getting a tax refund.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

The biggest problem with finding another job is I don’t want one.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Imagine the carnage at an IKEA team building event.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Like an advent calendar, you make me want to open up more every day.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

“Oh, I’d love to but I can’t.” Translation: I don’t want to so I won’t.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Before I had kids I was only vaguely aware that Saturday had a 7am.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

357 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,626

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,626

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,300

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

You know it’s bad when people start telling you that you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

Just landed via X:

Why does the dentist have to take an x-ray of my teeth? They right there, bro!

Just landed via Pinterest:

Pets don’t talk because the moment they do, the government will tax them.

Making waves on Facebook:

I love how we didn’t raise the minimum wage because it would make food more expensive, but then just made the food more expensive anyway.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Unfortunately, free coffee in the office will never hit like a $9 iced latte will.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Showering at night is so sexy and clean and self-care vibes. Showering in the morning is so productivity core, cog in the machine core.

Going viral on X:

The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one-night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

Just shared via Reddit:

Ribbed condoms don’t even taste like ribs.

Just landed via Facebook:

Hey babe, wanna come over and fold me like a fitted sheet?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

What do you even say when someone knocks on your bathroom stall … like, what’s the protocol?

Please stop fighting with each other on the internet and start fighting with each other in real life. Life is short.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
Time to take online drama to the real-life octagon! 🥊😂📲

argument, conflict, fight, fighting, humor, internet, life, media, please, real, short, short life, social, social media, start, stop

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person is completely stupid.

2 months ago

forgivenes, growth, humor, insight, person, personal, personal growth, realization, relationship, step, stupid, stupidity
Real introverts are too introverted to tell people they’re introverts.

2 months ago

anxiety, humor, introvert, people, personality, real, self-awareness, social, social anxiety, tell, too
A hot tub is basically a big bowl of human soup.

2 months ago

bath, big, bowl, hot, hot tub, human, human soup, humor, joke, relaxation, soup, tub
Asking my boyfriend if he would still date me if an alien had done experiments on me that killed me but, as a gesture of kindness, replaced me with a perfect replica, and he was the only one who knew.

1 month ago

alien, asking, boyfriend, date, done, experiment, gesture, humor, killed, kindness, me, only, perfect, relationship, replica, still
I’ve spent 80% of my adult life resetting my password.

2 months ago

adult, adult life, frustration, humor, joke, life, password, reset, resetting, spent, technology
Super excited about a brand new day of ignoring my problems.

2 months ago

brand, day, excited, humor, ignoring, new, positivity, problem, problems, procrastination, super

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“But it’s summer,” is going to be my excuse for everything from now until the end of September.

12 shares on Reddit this month:

The first people who called chocolate a vegetable are the real heroes.

46 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m perverted, but in an elegant and whimsical way.

53 shares on Twitch this month:

But are we sure that stomachs are meant to be flat?

48 shares on Reddit this month:

Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you’re stupid and you make bad decisions.

44 shares on X this month:

Vote for me, I’ll cut the alphabet in half.

15 shares on Reddit this month:

“At your big age” is one of my favorite insults.

57 shares on Threads this month:

A driver that delivers Indian food is called a curryer.

61 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I could never be in the mafia, those guys stay up way to late.

24 shares on Facebook this month:

Having a crush is so fun, it’s literally just butterflies and delusion.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

I wish I loved exercise as much as I love napping 3 times a day and eating 5 times the suggested serving size.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m only awake because my coffee needs me.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Shrimp: “When I grow up, I want to be food waste at a gala.”

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

If you aren’t sleeping with me, then you’re sleeping against me.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

I am so out of shape right now, that if someone yelled “run for your life!” I’d be like “ya’ll go ahead, I’m meetin’ Jesus today!”

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

I would like to thank my middle finger for always sticking up for me when I needed it.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Oh, that gap on my resume is from when I was the architect of my own hell.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

In my retweeting era, because I’m just speechless.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Happiness is an inside job.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

Obituaries should have clickbait titles.

Just landed via YouTube:

I’ve heard that people who don’t have Facebook use their free time to lie naked on top of each other. Ew, imagine that.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Nobody says, ‘Bless you,’ when you fart.

Making waves on Twitch:

We need a holiday at the end of every summer that honours all the women who wore sundresses.

Going bananas on Threads:

Stop letting people who are going to hell bother you.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Real introverts are too introverted to tell people they’re introverts.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Why do these women want to date Pete Davidson, a funny movie star, and not me, a guy who is whining?

Just landed via X:

Yes, I’ve gained weight. Too many people wanted to have sex with me. It was annoying.

Just landed via Instagram:

My parents didn’t raise me to order something expensive when someone else is paying.

Trending via Pinterest:

I always feel sleepy, except when I want to sleep.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Please stop fighting with each other on the internet and start fighting with each other in real life. Life is short.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person is completely stupid.

Real introverts are too introverted to tell people they’re introverts.

A hot tub is basically a big bowl of human soup.

Asking my boyfriend if he would still date me if an alien had done experiments on me that killed me but, as a gesture of kindness, replaced me with a perfect replica, and he was the only one who knew.

I’ve spent 80% of my adult life resetting my password.

Super excited about a brand new day of ignoring my problems.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨