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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Gonna start using “with all dude respect”.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Someone has left me a voicemail. I don’t know what to do. Open the phone app? The contacts? Do I turn on the TV?

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Dating outside of your education bracket leads to misunderstandings and arguments.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

The free hotel blow-dryer should be easier to get off the bathroom wall.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Running feels great until you compare it to not running.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

I’m having an orange, and the dogs keep looking at me like, “stop eating that ball, dude.”

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

I thought I wanted a career. Turns out all I wanted is paychecks.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

4,036

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

Haircuts should be covered by healthcare.

Making waves on Threads:

If pills are too toxic to flush down the toilet, you probably shouldn’t swallow them.

Trending via Threads:

I hope you catch the bouquet at my funeral.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

The idiot’s diet is just biting your tongue.

Going bananas on Discord:

A good way to get out of a conversation is to take off one of your socks and hand it to the person talking.

Shared recently on YouTube:

What can I buy my wife for Valentine’s Day that finally proves to her once and for all that I have absolutely no idea what she likes or who she is?

Just landed via Threads:

Just drank a big glass of water, and I regret to inform you, they might be right about hydration.

Rewatching my story every time somebody heart it to see what they see.

3 months ago

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Commentary:
That awkward moment when your own story feels like a Netflix series you didn't know you signed up for until someone hit 'like' 😂📱👀

behavior, curiosity, every, funny behavior, heart, interaction, media, rewatch, social, social media, somebody, story, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Trying to eat with my left hand because I need a little excitement in my life.

1 month ago
challenge, daily, daily life, eat, eating, excitement, hand, humor, i, left, left hand, life, little, need, trying
The quickest way to get your kid to do their homework is to ask them to help with some chores.

1 month ago
ask, chores, help, homework, humor, kid, motivation, parenting, procrastination
The best part about Smarties is pouring them into an empty prescription bottle and shaking them all into my mouth while waiting in line.

1 month ago
activity, best, bottle, candy, empty, fun, fun activity, humor, line, mouth, playful, prescription, prescription bottle, shaking, Smarty, waiting
Me: Hello, darkness, my old friend. Darkness: I have a boyfriend.

2 weeks ago
boyfriend, conversation, darkness, friend, friendship, hello, humor, i, joke, me, old, rejection, relationship
If someone asks why you’re so pale, simply reply, completely shocked, “You can see me?”

1 month ago
humor, joke, me, pale, reply, response, shocked, someone, surprise
You ran a half marathon? That’s really cool, I’ve almost finished a bunch of things, too.

1 month ago
achievement, activity, cool, finish, finished, fitness, half, humor, marathon, things, too

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

You know the trouble with real life? There’s no danger music.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress you out?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

I’m a little too self-aware to enjoy life, and a little too delusional to give up.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

You honestly gotta believe in yourself so much that it’s borderline delusional.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Hey girl, are you a burger? Because I love you.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Starting the second half of your sandwich is like “hell yeah, baby, let’s run it back!”

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Sorry, but I don’t think we should see each other anymore. Your Katana skills are lacking.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Maturity is when you realize money can actually buy happiness.

Trending via Snapchat:

Bartender asked me to give his place a one-star Google review to keep the vibe lowkey. Insane method.

Spotted on Slack:

I took a test to see if I have multiple personalities. I scored 100%, 92% and 88%.

Making waves on YouTube:

Y’all need to stop marrying people who look just like you do but with a wig on.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

In my years of experience, people who disagree with me are usually wrong.

Just landed via Telegram:

For someone who is afraid of failure, I’m very unmotivated.

Spotted on Reddit:

I asked my boyfriend if he believed in trolls and elves and he said, “slightly.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Rewatching my story every time somebody heart it to see what they see.

Trying to eat with my left hand because I need a little excitement in my life.

The quickest way to get your kid to do their homework is to ask them to help with some chores.

The best part about Smarties is pouring them into an empty prescription bottle and shaking them all into my mouth while waiting in line.

Me: Hello, darkness, my old friend. Darkness: I have a boyfriend.

If someone asks why you’re so pale, simply reply, completely shocked, “You can see me?”

You ran a half marathon? That’s really cool, I’ve almost finished a bunch of things, too.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Touch my butt, not my coffee.

I’ve been locked out of Tinder because of “unusual activity”. I must’ve got a match.

I think fathers lose their mind a little bit when they realize their daughters aren’t as forgiving as their wives.

She was rare. Like a meth head with good teeth.

Nothing has improved the quality of my life more than living beyond my means.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Dropped my skinny boyfriend between the bed and the wall like a vape or a TV remote.

Hear me out: a streaming service that doesn’t keep increasing their prices and actually has movies you want to watch.

“You’re not allowed to be grumpy on a Friday, it’s in the fine print somewhere.”

Memes are the most information-dense form of communication.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

It’s crazy I need a certificate to prove I was born when you can literally just look at me.

Peeling a sweaty sports bra off counts as aerobic exercise, right?

I have nothing nice to wear for the government shutdown.

In English we say: “You changed.” But in poetry we say: “You became a stranger wearing the face I used to love, and I am haunted by the ghost of who you were.”

Can everyone please turn their A/C off during the day, we need that power to generate images of people with eight fingers.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

If you’re alone on Thanksgiving, venmo me $25 and I’ll call and ask you when are you gonna get a “real” job and give me grandchildren.

When the job market is so bad that you’re going to follow your dreams instead.

IKEA is like the Hotel California of furniture stores.

Remember you are dust and, after you send this email, to dust you shall return.

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Rewatching my story every time somebody heart it to see what they see.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Trying to eat with my left hand because I need a little excitement in my life.

The quickest way to get your kid to do their homework is to ask them to help with some chores.

The best part about Smarties is pouring them into an empty prescription bottle and shaking them all into my mouth while waiting in line.

Me: Hello, darkness, my old friend. Darkness: I have a boyfriend.

If someone asks why you’re so pale, simply reply, completely shocked, “You can see me?”

You ran a half marathon? That’s really cool, I’ve almost finished a bunch of things, too.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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