Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

It’s so cold that men who wear shorts outside in the winter are wearing TWO pairs of shorts.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Why is there a level 6 for toasters? As if someone thinks: “Tonight I’m really in the mood for ashes with butter!”

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Parents saying “I know my child” will forever be the funniest joke.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

How much longer do we have to keep pretending that Pilates isn’t a sex thing?

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

So far, no one has seriously tried to bribe me, which is a shame because I am extremely corrupt. Maybe I need a position with more power.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Some people you look at or hear talking and think to yourself, the wheel may be turning, but the hamster is dead.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

My life is ruined. I wish to live no more. Never mind, I found the remote.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

“23 and Me” is how Leonardo DiCaprio RSVPs for events.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

My greatest joy in life is when a friend reads a book I recommend. My greatest frustration in life is when they don’t read it fast enough.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Never say never. Unless someone asks you when you want to go camping. Then the right answer is always “Never.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,329

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

I’m changing the game. I’m starting to thank people from the top of my heart.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Sat at a stop sign waiting for it to turn green, if you’re wondering how I’m doing today.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I caught two kids smoking pot outside my office. Fifteen minutes later, my boss caught me and two kids smoking pot outside my office.

Going viral on Threads:

Being old is basically trying to figure out what part of the body the noise is coming from, and why.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Seeing a BBL in real life is a reality-altering experience.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I remember when asking someone if they were on X meant something completely different.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I hate when kids scream in public. You don’t have real problems. It should be me screaming.

Spotted on X:

Sorry you thought I I was flirting with you; I had something in my eye.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Accidentally wore a blue shirt to Walmart and now I’m in the stockroom showing Sue how to use the forklift.

Making waves on Reddit:

Pretty girls don’t compete. We sit pretty, count blessings, and ignore weird energy.

Rewatching my story every time somebody heart it to see what they see.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
That awkward moment when your own story feels like a Netflix series you didn't know you signed up for until someone hit 'like' 😂📱👀

behavior, curiosity, every, funny behavior, heart, interaction, media, rewatch, social, social media, somebody, story, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you’re riding a bike in New York City, it means you care about your health. Riding one in Tennessee means you got a DUI.

0

2 months ago

bike, care, city, DUI, health, humor, means, new, New York City, riding, Tennessee, york
If a baby comes out feet first, technically it wears its mom as a hat.

0

2 months ago

baby, childbirth, feet, hat, humor, mom
Nothing flies faster than the ketchup out of the bottle when you only want a little.

0

2 months ago

bottle, condiment, fast, faster, food, humor, ketchup, kitchen, little, nothing, only, want
There’s no denying that I have an effect on men. Mostly migraines, but an effect nonetheless.

0

2 months ago

effect, humor, i, joke, men, migraine, relationship, self-deprecation
Whatever you do today, do it with the confidence of a 4-year old wearing a Batman cape.

0

2 months ago

4-year, 4-year old, attitude, Batman, cape, childhood, confidence, fun, humor, inspiration, old, playfulness, today
I automatically assume everyone finds me unattractive until they tell me otherwise, and then I assume that they are lying to make fun of me.

0

2 months ago

assume, everyone, finds, fun, humor, i, insecurity, interaction, issues, lying, me, otherwise, sarcasm, self-doubt, skepticism, social, social interaction, tell, trust, trust issues, unattractive, unattractiveness

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on X this month:

For the first time in history, you can simply post “He’s an idiot” and 90% of the world will know whom you’re talking about.

22 shares on Snapchat this month:

Hosting Thanksgiving? Bring up politics so everyone will leave early.

42 shares on X this month:

I appreciate the people that interact with me and I really appreciate the ones that don’t.

96 shares on WeChat this month:

“What’s your ETA?” do you ask the birds in the sky when they will arrive.

78 shares on WeChat this month:

Do you ever look into your cats eyes and realize that a person is inside there?

69 shares on Twitch this month:

My rapper name would be 2 stressd.

48 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Ask your girlfriend for her ring size and then give her a personalized bowling ball.

45 shares on YouTube this month:

This Christmas, get her the gift that’ll last a lifetime. Give her a tortoise.

49 shares on Messenger this month:

Every triangle is a love triangle when you love triangles.

76 shares on Pinterest this month:

Life update: it’s getting worse.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Imagine the sound a centipede would make if they wore tiny flip flops.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Saving up ketchup packets in the fridge so I can one day open my own restaurant.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Do men know they don’t have to date if they’re not over their ex?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

I don’t understand my wardrobe. It’s full, but I don’t have clothes.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Dear nurses, you don’t have to announce my weight, just write it down. That’s why I have my eyes closed when I’m on the scale.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

It’s so hot that my shadow just went back inside and gave me the finger.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

At least life has music.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

We’re living in increasingly unfergalicious times.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Just know that somebody out there is thinking of you, and you should really lock your doors.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Onion rings? I’m answering.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Drugs and alcohol take years off your life and give them to Keith Richards.

Live now on LinkedIn:

If I buy the circus, the monkey will be the manager.

Going viral on Instagram:

It’s amazing, when it’s your birthday you really feel the love from family, friends, lovers, former dentists, yoga studios and various smootheries.

Going viral on YouTube:

When someone asks me why I’m in a wheelchair, I want to say something ridiculous like, “I’m not standing up until I’ve saved a million.”

Just shared via X:

I don’t give people directions. What if no one wants them there?

Breaking via WeChat:

We live in a cosmic tornado, but sure, let’s all get jobs.

Just landed via Facebook:

I have a lot in common with AI. We occasionally provide incorrect information with a confident tone.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Going to therapy is like having someone walk around your brain and going “ohhhh, this is how you’re living?!”

Shared recently on Threads:

I hate it when you ask what you thought was a simple question in a meeting at work, and it turns into another meeting.

Shared recently on Slack:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here playing with my arm fat.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Rewatching my story every time somebody heart it to see what they see.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If you’re riding a bike in New York City, it means you care about your health. Riding one in Tennessee means you got a DUI.

If a baby comes out feet first, technically it wears its mom as a hat.

Nothing flies faster than the ketchup out of the bottle when you only want a little.

There’s no denying that I have an effect on men. Mostly migraines, but an effect nonetheless.

Whatever you do today, do it with the confidence of a 4-year old wearing a Batman cape.

I automatically assume everyone finds me unattractive until they tell me otherwise, and then I assume that they are lying to make fun of me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨