Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Anyone who thinks things have got so bad that they can only get better is showing a remarkable lack of imagination.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Think about how many more lovers you’d have if a cross country high-speed rail existed. That’s what they are taking away from you.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

For once, I would just like to underthink a situation. How do you guys do that?

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

I dreamed I won the lottery, so you can imagine how thrilled I was to wake up and get ready for work.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

The more secure you want my computer password to be, the more guaranteed I am to just write it on a very not secure post-it note.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Everyone’s a gangster until the grocery store switches their aisles around.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Enjoy the time between diapers!

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

I’m the ick in fantastic.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

I’ve reached the age where I just bought a bird bath for my backyard.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

I’m so tired. Let’s see all of the horrible things happening in the world today before I try to sleep peacefully.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,413

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

“Have you asked Chat GPT?” Have you lost your mind?

Seen just now on Messenger:

What we need is more companies making hot sauce. I need 900 more ways to taste a thing that tastes exactly like all the other ones.

Seen just now on Slack:

Please pray for my husband, he’s struggling to find me.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Whenever someone asks me if my dog is adopted I respond with, “no, she’s biologically mine.”

Spotted on Discord:

That “so we done?” be saving the relationship every time.

Just landed via Instagram:

Hot singles over 40 in your area are curious what you use for joint pain and inflammation.

Trending via TikTok:

Apparently “ew no” is not an acceptable way to tell my boss I don’t want more responsibility at work.

Just landed via Discord:

Doesn’t matter if the chicken or the egg came first. Still a weird thing to just appear.

Trending via YouTube:

Where do we acquire the ducks that we’re supposed to be putting in a row?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

When I take a shower I’m: 5% cleaning myself, 10% singing, 85% making life changing decisions.

Sobriety: because my standards got tired of lowering themselves.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When my standards started needing a crane to lift them, I knew it was time for a change! 😂🍹🚫

drinking, got, humor, lifestyle, self-improvement, sobriety, standard, standards, tired

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Nobody shoots annoying people into the sun anymore and that’s why there are so many of them left on earth.

0

2 months ago

annoying, annoying people, Earth, funny observation, humor, left, nobody, observation, people, shoot, sun
Welcome to your 40’s: it’s ten years of people saying “wait until you’re 50”.

0

2 months ago

40s, 50, aging, expectation, humor, life, people, saying, ten, wait, welcome, year’s
Who needs dystopian fiction when you can watch the news?

0

2 months ago

current, current events, dystopian, events, fiction, humor, media, needs, news, satire, watch
Putting away the Christmas tree. Sad day for cats.

0

2 months ago

away, cat, cats, change, Christmas, day, decorations, holiday, humor, pet, pet humor, putting, sad, sad day, seasonal, seasonal change, tree
I need to get my shit together, but at this point, I’m waiting to see if the world is going to end before I put any real effort in.

0

2 months ago

awareness, before, effort, end, going, humor, i, life, life struggle, motivation, need, point, procrastination, put, real, self, self-awareness, shit, struggle, together, waiting, world, world end
When I say I like when older men tell me what to do, I am talking about Yoda and his teachings.

0

2 months ago

advice, am, culture, humor, i, Jedi, man, me, men, older, older man, pop, pop culture, say, talking, teachings, tell, wisdom, Yoda

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on X this month:

I know there are bigger problems in the world right now, but I’ve just realized I’ve never seen a baby seagull.

54 shares on Threads this month:

I’m not sure how long my body can handle this “getting out of bed early in the morning” nonsense.

59 shares on Pinterest this month:

What was the main bloke called in Harry Potter?

13 shares on Telegram this month:

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life.

63 shares on Pinterest this month:

AI won’t replace me because I’m already useless to society.

76 shares on TikTok this month:

My favorite part of adulting is borrowing money from myself and paying myself back.

13 shares on Messenger this month:

It’s like my therapist always says, that’ll be $175.

38 shares on Telegram this month:

I hate it when I do the math about where my money went, and it all adds up. No one robbed me; I didn’t lose it. It was really all me.

27 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You are not in a situationship. You are texting a man who doesn’t like you.

94 shares on Facebook this month:

I hate it when I take a picture of myself and see 20 years of bad eating habits and no exercise.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Me, at the intervention: “Ah look, all the reasons I drink gathered in one place.”

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

I don’t know how to mop my kitchen floor without pretending l’m cleaning up a gruesome crime scene.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Spent 20 minutes training ChatGPT to write the perfect anniversary note for my wife, so don’t try to tell me I’m not romantic.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Hello bedtime my old friend, my brain is laughing once again.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

I suck at charging my phone, 21 percent charged, and I’m taking it off so I can lay the other way.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

If you’re looking for a wild woman, I just took all of my vitamins in one gulp.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

I love being home and doing absolutely nothing and never contributing to society.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Back in my day there was so much toilet paper and so much eggs that we gathered at night and threw them at the houses of our enemies.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

The 69 obsession turning into 67 is a recession indicator.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

At no single point in the Bible does it tell you not to sell drugs.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

Me at a nightclub: Where are the chairs?

Live now on Slack:

You know you’re getting old when you clean the house to the music you used to go out to.

Making waves on Threads:

Don’t break someone’s heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206 of them.

Just landed via YouTube:

Sometimes you just gotta say LOL and move on.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I’m just trying to have a nice time despite knowing facts and information.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Hey, I noticed you’re not saying what I want.

Spotted on Reddit:

All the stops on the bus are pointless, except the one I’m getting off at.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

The awkward moment when someone’s zipper is down and you don’t know whether to tell them or not.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sobriety: because my standards got tired of lowering themselves.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Nobody shoots annoying people into the sun anymore and that’s why there are so many of them left on earth.

Welcome to your 40’s: it’s ten years of people saying “wait until you’re 50”.

Who needs dystopian fiction when you can watch the news?

Putting away the Christmas tree. Sad day for cats.

I need to get my shit together, but at this point, I’m waiting to see if the world is going to end before I put any real effort in.

When I say I like when older men tell me what to do, I am talking about Yoda and his teachings.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨