Sobriety: because my standards got tired of lowering themselves. Posted on4 weeks ago4 weeks ago by slickboy in Funny Quotes 💾 Save Image Commentary:When my standards started needing a crane to lift them, I knew it was time for a change! 😂🍹🚫 Related Funny Quotes 🤝 I’m proud to announce that am winning my fight against sobriety. I have high standards for dating because I’m a high-quality woman, and you wouldn’t want me any other way. In the morning: Tired! At lunchtime: Tired! In the evening: Tired! In bed: “Everybody dance now!” I was born tired, and I will die tired. If I ever tell you I’m not tired, I’m probably lying. Got asked to be a godparent, proving God has lowered his recruitment standards.