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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Years of personal growth can be unraveled in 2 days at your parents’ house.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

I hope one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

That one unemployed roommate who gets a package every day.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Maybe somewhere in a parallel universe, I wake up feeling refreshed and energetic each day.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

A genie that does my bidding would fix me.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Accept the truth that a clean kitchen and finished laundry are just myths. Embrace the chaos and find your inner calm.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

I hate people that talk to their Apple watch. Fake Power Rangers.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Messed up and threw a surprise party for my minimalist friend. Now 25 of us are hiding behind the granite orb.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

The first pyramid scheme was when the Egyptians took credit for the pyramids that were clearly built by aliens.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

How my weekend was? Light, dark, light, dark, Monday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,639

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Pinterest:

Trying to watch a superhero movie without stressing about the infrastructure damage to the city.

Trending via Telegram:

I hate Valentine’s Day but I do enjoy infant archery.

Just landed via Discord:

Winter is actually awesome because if you put on a couple of movies at 5 p.m., it’s already pitch black and the evening is super long, so it feels like you’re staying up til 2 a.m., but in reality, it’s only 11 p.m. 10/10!

Broadcasted on Instagram:

They need to increase life expectancy so I can squeeze in another mid-life crisis.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Me liking your post is the equivalent of an angel kissing your forehead.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Bartenders be like “here’s that receipt, I’ll go ahead and put it on the wettest part of the bar”.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

My phone storage is full so I guess it’s time to delete the 27 second video I took of a spiderweb four years ago.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I stopped writing “Feel free to reach out if you need anything else” at the end of my emails because please don’t do that.

Seen just now on X:

It’s not you. Just the things you say, think, and do.

Just shared via Messenger:

Straighten your back and drink some water, you dehydrated banana.

Social media is a great way to make new enemies.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Social media: where you can miscommunicate with friends and make strangers your frenemies 😂🕵️‍♀️#OopsIDidItAgain

communication, conflict, enemy, great, humor, internet, media, new, relationship, sarcasm, social, social media

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Girls are perverts when they like you.

0

2 months ago

attraction, flirting, girl, girls, humor, pervert, relationship
Nothing makes me feel more powerful than when I write ‘furthermore’ in an email.

0

5 months ago

communication, confidence, email, feel, furthermore, humor, i, me, nothing, power, powerful, writing
I want to make you say, “Oh God,” in a way that makes God nervous.

0

5 months ago

expression, flirtation, God, humor, i, nervous, oh, say, surprise, want
Trying is the first step toward failure.

0

2 months ago

failure, first step, humor, irony, motivation, self-deprecation, step, trying
Calling a lobotomy a “lobobo” to fit in with Gen Z.

0

2 months ago

brain, calling, fit, gen, Gen Z, health, humor, language, lobobo, lobotomy, meme, mental, mental health, slang, z
I rode around the block on my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.

0

2 months ago

activity, armstrong, around, bike, block, drug, drugs, enhancing, enhancing drug, exercise, humor, i, lance, Lance Armstrong, nostalgia, performance, time, understand

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Babe, wake up, it’s stupid outside!

79 shares on WeChat this month:

Social media may have been a mistake.

97 shares on Discord this month:

Santa Claus isn’t real. Ain’t no man checking a list twice.

10 shares on Pinterest this month:

I want to sit and read, take a nap, and snack. Basically, I want to be in kindergarten.

49 shares on Messenger this month:

Everyone knows that Christmas is the celebration of the immaculate conception of Mariah Carey.

85 shares on Slack this month:

It’s okay to love your job. Just know it doesn’t love you back.

54 shares on TikTok this month:

Tupperware is filing for bankruptcy. They would have kept a lid on the news but they couldn’t find one.

84 shares on Pinterest this month:

Who called it an undertaker and not a host mortem?

24 shares on Pinterest this month:

My favorite 90s skill: Uninstalling my car stereo and hiding it in my glove box in under 15 seconds.

24 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Maybe your dog is barking at my luggage because he doesn’t enjoy his job, officer.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

“You tryna hang?” Yeah bro, myself!

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

The world contains protons, neutrons, electrons, and morons.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

If you wear enough cardigans, people will assume you’re smart and you can stop reading entirely.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

There are risks you take when camping: severe weather, wild animals, someone bringing an acoustic guitar.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

If I’m ever the problem, you’re the reason.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

There should be an opposite of Valentine’s Day where you post Instagram photos of your enemy.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Okay, new plan, I’m going to marry a Kardashian.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Tourists love to think that they are not like other tourists.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

The first guy to clap after seeing something cool must have been like “what the hell am I doing?”

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Being in love will have you put your pride aside and go to places you never thought you would, like New Jersey.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

“Dairy Queen” is actually the perfect drag name.

Spotted on X:

You know Santa isn’t real because no man over 40 is out past 9PM.

Trending via YouTube:

When someone tells me “They could care less”, instead of the proper “I couldn’t care less”, I always say “At least you care.”

Going bananas on Threads:

The trick is to not let people know how weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.

Shared recently on Threads:

No ChatGPT for me, thanks. I will be asking Liam Gallagher on Twitter.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Buying groceries with no food stamps should boost your credit score.

Making waves on X:

Get off the internet and go sniff a flower.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Having a daughter is like having a little broke best friend who thinks you’re rich.

Just landed via Facebook:

If you love someone, let them sleep.

Just landed via Snapchat:

“Machines will soon be as smart as people.” Ok, but which people?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Social media is a great way to make new enemies.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Girls are perverts when they like you.

Nothing makes me feel more powerful than when I write ‘furthermore’ in an email.

I want to make you say, “Oh God,” in a way that makes God nervous.

Trying is the first step toward failure.

Calling a lobotomy a “lobobo” to fit in with Gen Z.

I rode around the block on my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨