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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

That awkward moment when someone you hate is breathing.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

I have a huge to-do list, I just have to figure out who’s gonna do it.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

The only thing limiting what you can put in a sandwich is your imagination and the laws of physics.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Pretty girls don’t compete. We sit pretty, count blessings, and ignore weird energy.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

The older I get, the more I understand why Grumpy Old Men exist.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

The only warning I take seriously these days is when my cell phone battery is low.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

I wish I could invoice people for wasting my time.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

My kids will never appreciate the amount of extroverting the introvert me does for them.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m a Leo so I just eat the other astrological signs.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

About 40 muscles are activated when you eat just one donut. Follow me for more fitness advice.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,872

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

I have poor night vision so I upgraded to LED headlights because it’s important to me to ensure nobody else can see either.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I totally get why Leonardo DiCaprio is trying to save the environment for future generations. They could be his girlfriend.

Going viral on Threads:

Can I get back all those naps I refused to take as a kid? I could really use them now.

Breaking via Instagram:

The problem with hiding snacks from my kid is that when I forget, they end up being hidden from me too.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Saving up ketchup packets in the fridge so I can one day open my own restaurant.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Just so you know, it’s almost impossible to drink coffee while laying down.

Trending via Instagram:

Tattoos: because being an adult is hard, and I deserve to have stickers.

Live now on YouTube:

Here I am, block me like a hurricane.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Stop expecting people to be as cool as you, it’s a recipe for disappointment.

Freshly posted on X:

Applied for an internship to gain experience and got rejected because I didn’t have relevant experience.

Somebody somewhere today don’t know it’s their last day with all 10 fingers.

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Somebody somewhere today don’t know it’s their last day with all 10 fingers.
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Oops! Someone's about to join the 9-finger club. 🎉✋🤚

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on Instagram this month:

The only thing I gained so far this year is weight.

97 shares on YouTube this month:

Some people are like wallpaper… same pattern repeating every time.

32 shares on YouTube this month:

Can’t wait for the day off from work so I can sit on the couch at home and stare at the TV screen while thinking about work.

85 shares on Threads this month:

The cool thing about ignoring a notification is being surprised to see it over and over again.

72 shares on TikTok this month:

Before marrying someone, listen long and hard to the sounds of their chewing, because that’s the soundtrack to the rest of your life.

83 shares on TikTok this month:

Was that meant to be a joke or did you just accidentally spill a bunch of words you were carrying around?

32 shares on Facebook this month:

Apologies for the late response, instead of spending three minutes answering your email, I ignored it and felt anxious for two weeks.

39 shares on Snapchat this month:

My cats won’t talk to me because I came home late from work.

30 shares on Telegram this month:

Carrying my phone from room to room like a Victorian woman and her lantern.

76 shares on TikTok this month:

Unfortunately, a great many problems in life can be solved by just being hotter.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The smaller the woman, the bigger the attitude. It’s science.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My spirit animal is chasing his own tail.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s important to get out of the house every once and a while to remind yourself of why you don’t go out.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If you feel fat and sad just know it’s someone out there fatter than you.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Potato chips ARE vegetables! I exclaim as I tear open the third bag.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s a fat man inside me dying to get out.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

A lot of y’all don’t understand politics because your history teacher was the football coach.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

“Stop bouncing your leg!” It’s either this or I start screaming.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Salted, and I cannot stress this enough, butter.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,651

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Show me in the employee handbook where it says I can’t make weird noises in my cubicle.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

I was actually doing so well until your email found me.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

It’s time to stare blankly at my wall for hours straight and think about where I went wrong with my life.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Just so you know, what you now call an energy bar is what my father gave the canary.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

I put the ‘no’ in ‘I will let u know’.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

My dad’s handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

The more I practice, the luckier I get.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Adulthood is about being able to eat cookies for breakfast, but not doing it because you already ate all the cookies.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

I like to put “No DMs” in my bio to pretend that I’m attractive.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Dear liars, I hope every pair of pants you own are on fire.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

Some people get it. Most people don’t.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I automatically assume everyone finds me unattractive until they tell me otherwise, and then I assume that they are lying to make fun of me.

Just shared via X:

Being in your 20s is crazy because, why did you stay with someone you were that incompatible with for that long?

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Imagine how loud a centipede would be if they wore tiny little flip flops.

Live now on Reddit:

Imagine falling in love with me then finding out I’m a slow walker.

Breaking via Telegram:

I already want to take a nap tomorrow.

Just shared via Instagram:

Asian girl at tech company: Wow, everyone here is so friendly.

Just landed via Discord:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need a new identity and a passport.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Hotel elevators are hell for those of us who are small-talk failures. The guy asked me, “You just get in today too?” and I said, “Well, no,” then stood in silence.

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