Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

I stopped adding “Let me know if you have any more questions!” to my emails because don’t email me again.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Boy, did The Shining nail what it’s like being an only child.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Boyfriend hasn’t accepted my LinkedIn request yet. He doesn’t want to connect. He doesn’t want to build.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Being drunk and liking every tweet without reading it.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

I’m ready for a new relationship. My past is buried in the backyard, to fertilize the tomatoes.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

I would reset the clock on your microwave for you.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Before you laugh at kids who believe in Santa, remember there are grown men who believe that Cristiano Ronaldo is a better footballer than Lionel Messi.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Tai Chi is so crazy because it’s like throwing a slow motion tantrum.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Old people be like, “No elbows on the table, it’s rude,” then say something racist.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Interviewer: Give an example of a difficult scenario and how you handled it. Me: I poured a bowl of cereal but had no milk, so I used ice cream.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,937

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

Technically I’m still young, but according to my back pain I’m actually 69.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Clearly I’m not doing Dry January unless you mean sense of humor.

Trending via Pinterest:

Dear Black Friday… We all have big TVs now, put the groceries on sale.

Live now on Facebook:

I see stand-up comedy as a stepping stone to television. A few more paid gigs and I’ll be able to afford a television.

Going viral on Discord:

Being an adult feels like, “If I can just get through this week, I’ll be okay,” but it’s every damn week.

Shared recently on Threads:

If you’re not easily offended, why are you even online?

Making waves on WeChat:

No, I didn’t eat enough protein today, but I did think of you with enough intensity to generate new muscle tissue in my heart.

Seen just now on Threads:

Everybody looks sexier when they are happy.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I have this ability where I can look at someone’s profile picture and determine whether they are evil or not.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

Somebody somewhere today don’t know it’s their last day with all 10 fingers.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oops! Someone's about to join the 9-finger club. 🎉✋🤚

day, finger, fingers, humor, know, last, last day, reminder, somebody, somewhere, today, unexpected

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I know you miss me. The tarot lady on TikTok just told me.

0

2 months ago

fortune, humor, i, just, know, lady, me, media, miss, prediction, social, social media, tarot, TikTok, told
It’s amazing to think that a Penguin wrote all of those classic books.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, amazing, book, books, classic, classic book, creativity, funny observation, humor, literature, observation, penguin, think, writing
I’ve reached that age where I don’t have to drink to forget because it just happens naturally now.

0

2 months ago

age, aging, drink, forget, humor, i, just, life, naturally
Everyone wants a drunk text until I’m doing it at noon.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, doing, drunk, drunk text, everyone, humor, media, noon, relatable, social, social media, text, timing, wants
Oh, that’s nothing a sudden burst of completely disproportionate rage won’t solve.

0

2 months ago

anger, comedy, emotional, emotional expression, expression, frustration, humor, nothing, oh, rage, sarcasm, solve, sudden
I postpone certain outfits until I get a certain hairstyle because, yes, it’s that deep.

0

2 months ago

certain, deep, fashion, hairstyle, humor, i, outfit, outfits, procrastination, style, yes

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on Telegram this month:

You haven’t experienced proper anger until you have a sister.

84 shares on Slack this month:

How am I supposed to make life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what letter comes next.

18 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Just say ‘lol’ and move on.

83 shares on TikTok this month:

At what age do I delete Snapchat?

21 shares on Messenger this month:

Don’t ever let your computer feel that you’re in a hurry, cause they’re gonna slow down more.

86 shares on Reddit this month:

Autumn at last. Sitting on the sofa all day with a blanket and tea and watching movies. Just like in summer, but with a blanket and tea.

73 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Can somebody explain to me why it’s bad if immigrants take our jobs, but it’s good if AI does?

18 shares on YouTube this month:

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

39 shares on Discord this month:

Leave me alone, man. I’m just living my life like a candle in the wind.

17 shares on WeChat this month:

Jewelry stores should just be like: Whether you’re trying to be nice or trying to get laid, we got you covered.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Parents saying “I know my child” will forever be the funniest joke.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

I highly recommend getting yourself a “How can I help” partner and not a “You will be fine” partner.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

I get it, laundry, no one is doing me either.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Potato chips ARE vegetables! I exclaim as I tear open the third bag.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

My hair would never allow me to commit a crime. I really do leave my DNA everywhere.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

First date idea: we deactivate your Instagram.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Can I just skip to the part in my life where I’m rich and happily in love?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

I’ve tasted long-term relationships, I’ve tasted casual dating. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 9 p.m. ..!

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Here’s the problem with fruit: it’s inconsistent. Some apples are delicious, some taste bad. Sometimes blueberries are great, sometimes they are disgusting. You know what’s the same every time? Doritos.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Accidentally turned my clocks back too far and ended up at a Wham concert.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

I used to schedule naps, but now they’re little surprise parties my body throws at all hours of the day.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Somebody somewhere today don’t know it’s their last day with all 10 fingers.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I know you miss me. The tarot lady on TikTok just told me.

It’s amazing to think that a Penguin wrote all of those classic books.

I’ve reached that age where I don’t have to drink to forget because it just happens naturally now.

Everyone wants a drunk text until I’m doing it at noon.

Oh, that’s nothing a sudden burst of completely disproportionate rage won’t solve.

I postpone certain outfits until I get a certain hairstyle because, yes, it’s that deep.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨