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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

I wish pets lived longer, and life wasn’t so expensive, and cake didn’t make you fat, and people weren’t twats.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side. My legs for always supporting me. And my fingers because I can always count on them.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

The economy’s so tough, people out here eating grass — matcha.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Wanna come over and see my mis-matched sock collection?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Watching my wife absolutely hate my daughter’s boyfriend while being nice and hospitable to him has made me question every interaction I’ve had with another human being in my life.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

I think it’s sad that getting married is one of the only ways to guarantee somebody will be forced to make a speech about how great you are.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

You don’t get to tell me what to do, you’re not my cat.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

I want the job where I push scared skydivers out of planes.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting a hug for Christmas.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,393

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff.

Just shared via Facebook:

Normalize throwing lamps at people who need to lighten up.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Clubbing is a phase that you must go through and get over.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

My knight in shining armor comes in liquid form.

Spotted on WeChat:

I aspire to be a stay-at-home mom with no kids.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

“Nothing beats in-person interaction”. Yeah, with someone I know and love, not Denise from finance.

Just shared via Telegram:

If I got $5 every time I thought of you, I would start thinking of you.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Can I come over and figure you out?

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Adult friendships are difficult. The people I get on best with never want to leave the house either.

Trending via Messenger:

Sorry, I wasn’t really listening but that’s awesome, unless it isn’t of course.

Somebody somewhere today don’t know it’s their last day with all 10 fingers.

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Commentary:
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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on Telegram this month:

The fact that someone looked straight at a purple onion and named it red onion really bothers me.

83 shares on X this month:

Of course your crush is going to leave their spouse for you. That’s how delusions work.

65 shares on Slack this month:

This year is starting to feel like it needs to be left outside until we see if it can act right.

27 shares on Twitch this month:

I was not meant to work a job; I was meant to lay down and ponder.

83 shares on TikTok this month:

The first time people saw a train coming at them, they ran away in terror.

16 shares on Discord this month:

A toddler in their “why” phase makes you realize how little you know.

89 shares on Telegram this month:

My parents grew to like my girlfriend so much, they take her as their own daughter. Now they started looking for a proper boyfriend for her.

84 shares on Threads this month:

Bruschetta is 80% delicious and 20% mess.

27 shares on Instagram this month:

Nothing is worse than seeing a gorgeous girl that I’d never approach or stand a chance with and then finding out she has a boyfriend.

42 shares on WeChat this month:

I used to party all night. Now I check the weather forecast for the next day to see if it’s a good laundry day.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Arkansas is just Kansas for pirates.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Difference between a flirt and harassment: if you are handsome, it’s a flirt, if you are ugly, it’s harassment.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Who you are when someone reaches over to take food from your plate… is the real you.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Wine must breathe. I always hear that wine needs to breathe. I want to drink it and not revive it.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

They should make a drug that recreates the feeling of having your number called earlier than expected.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Did you get that psychic damage I sent you?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The sweet potato is the kindest vegetable.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Those astronauts that just landed? They should be greeted by chimpanzees on horses.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody at this train station knows that there’s a hole in my sock.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing tests your patience like a group chat blowing up your phone.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,499

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Some people don’t have a permanent handwriting. It depends on their mood and the pen they use.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Someone you haven’t talked to in forever will show up in your dream just to do a backflip.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Oasis didn’t just write good songs. They wrote the soundtrack for a whole generation.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Apologies for the late response, instead of spending three minutes answering your email, I ignored it and felt anxious for two weeks.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Yesterday I wore something from 5 years ago and it actually fit. So proud of myself. It was a scarf, but still, let’s be positive here.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

I only attract psychopaths. If you’ve ever had a crush on me, find a therapist.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Humanity doesn’t deserve a new year, look at the mess they made of the last one.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Sorry, I’m late. I got here when I wanted to.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

I love when men remind me I’m evil because sometimes I be thinking I’m losing my spark.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

I didn’t mean to gain weight. It happened by snaccident.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

What do you even say when someone knocks on your bathroom stall … like, what’s the protocol?

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Scared to go on dates, cause what if I find the one and never be able to be single again.

Seen just now on WeChat:

When I’m feeling old, I like to visit my parents so they can push all my buttons until I lose my shit and just like that, I’m 16 again.

Trending via Snapchat:

It’s funny how drinking 8 cups of water a day seems impossible, but 7 beers and 5 shots in two hours go down like a fat kid on a seesaw.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

The Sunday struggle is wanting to relax and wanting a clean house, but also not wanting to clean or move.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

There I was, quietly reliving my dream of having my own house, when suddenly I was attacked by insane prices.

Live now on WeChat:

Why do boys never buy the Pro Max iPhones? I swear it’s only girls with big phones.

Trending via Telegram:

Divorcing my wife to focus on my porn addiction.

Spotted on Telegram:

Tired of being the responsible adult. When can I become the irresponsible adult?

Freshly posted on Facebook:

My save-for-later cart on Amazon is up to about $1.5 million dollars.

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