Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

“You’re acting weird!” I’m not acting.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

I don’t like people who take drugs, for example: airport security.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Damn, girl, are you Black Friday? Because I’m wondering what your bloody deal is.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

We should bring gargoyles back, more buildings need freaky little guys on them.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Female friendship is all about taking turns being insane. First, one of you is crazy, and the other has to counterbalance by being normal. Then, thirty minutes later, you get to trade.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

If A-B-C-D didn’t take their sweet time in the alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn’t have to sprint every time.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

They should invent someone who holds me.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

I need to hire someone to just constantly slap food out of my hand.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

No, don’t worry about him, babe. That’s just my soulmate.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to kiss today.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

That depressing moment when you pull up to work and the building is not engulfed in flames.

Spotted on Threads:

Ninety percent of my new follows are beautiful women, which tells me one thing: I’ve still got it!

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Ask your girlfriend for her ring size and then give her a personalized bowling ball.

Just landed via Snapchat:

We literally used to write an essay by hand.

Spotted on TikTok:

Very disappointed by the symbolism of last night’s dream. Just really obvious, derivative stuff.

Going viral on X:

“You’ve changed.” Yeah, I watched a new movie.

Just landed via Reddit:

If the man is silent, he is a thinker. If the woman is silent, the thinker is in big trouble.

Live now on YouTube:

I love when people say, “It is what it is,” like they just discovered stoicism.

Just landed via WeChat:

All I’ve ever wanted is to look good naked, hope that someone can take it.

Someone at work had a 25-year anniversary, and it took everything in me not to say she’s been working longer than I’ve been alive.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Wow, she's been working there so long her first computer probably had a dial-up internet! 🖥️📞😄

age, alive, anniversary, colleague, everything, humor, longer, me, milestone, say, someone, work, working

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

When did making sense stop making sense?

0

2 months ago

confusion, humor, logic, making, making sense, nonsense, paradox, sense, stop
As highly as it’s esteemed, the Mayo Clinic still sounds like the place sick sandwiches go to get better.

0

2 months ago

better, clinic, humor, joke, mayo, place, sandwich, sick, sounds, still, wordplay
Shout out to all the experts on the web who know everything there is to know about absolutely everything.

0

2 months ago

everything, expert, experts, humor, irony, know, knowledge, sarcasm, shout, shout out, web
I’m naturally funny because my life is a joke.

0

2 months ago

comedy, humor, joke, life, naturally, relatable
Men invented pool tables so they could watch each other bend over.

0

6 months ago

bend, bending, bending over, humor, invention, men, over, pool, pool table, table, tables, watch
How do I tell someone respectfully to die in a fire?

0

2 months ago

communication, conflict, die, fire, humor, i, irony, respect, sarcasm, someone, tell

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on Threads this month:

I need the youth to start reading. Even if it’s the tag on your underwear. Read it.

44 shares on Reddit this month:

They should invent friends whose schedules line up with yours.

62 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t think human beings were built to know everything going on in the world all the time.

74 shares on Messenger this month:

If I say, “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared peer-reviewed research, data, and charts, and I will destroy you.

94 shares on Facebook this month:

You’d think a philharmonic orchestra would have at least one harmonica, but nope.

100 shares on X this month:

Please don’t ask me what my hobbies are, I lost interest in life back in 6th grade.

48 shares on Threads this month:

When I was a kid there were two sure ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

30 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Want to lose weight for the summer? Don’t worry, just check in your luggage at the airport. You’ll never see those pounds again.

24 shares on Messenger this month:

If the Christians published the Kama Sutra, it would have been one page long.

91 shares on Pinterest this month:

They should invent a rom-com where no one has to overhear anything that leads to a huge unnecessary misunderstanding.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

The problem with rich people is that I am not one.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

I will never understand why our washing machines feel the need to lie about how much time is left. If you need more time, just let me know, that’s fine.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

You should never forget where you came from. That’s probably where your keys are.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

At the Pride and Prejudice showing booing whenever Prejudice comes on screen.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

The plan was simple: finish school, find a job and get married at 25. But now I don’t understand anything anymore.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Getting married soon. Just need a spouse.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Wanted to report a YouTube video, but there is no option for “Cringe”, so I just picked “Terrorism”.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

“Pre” means before, and “post” means after. Using both at the same time would be preposterous.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

I really don’t get enough praise for someone who doesn’t need validation from others.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Stop using ChatGPT. You got a question, you come to me first.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Telling her parents you creampie her daily is socially unacceptable. But telling them you’re trying for a baby is a cause for celebration.

Broadcasted on X:

What’s the opposite of FOMO? The feeling of knowing you made the right decision not going somewhere once you see or hear dispatches from it.

Just landed via YouTube:

I’m starting to think that the secret to having a happy life is avoiding people.

Making waves on Telegram:

Extrovert self made too many plans and now introvert self is pissed.

Shared recently on Telegram:

A 12 step program but it’s just me getting off the couch.

Spotted on Twitch:

Girl math is crying for two hours and then realizing it wasn’t that deep.

Going bananas on Threads:

Unmarried in your 30s should honestly be rebranded as – ‘Congrats, you didn’t pick the wrong person out of panic’.

Trending via Instagram:

A dating app to meet other people with low IQ called OK Stupid.

Just shared via TikTok:

Indiana Jones is a fantasy about being a professor with no admin duties.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

It was the worst of times, it was the worst of times.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Someone at work had a 25-year anniversary, and it took everything in me not to say she’s been working longer than I’ve been alive.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

When did making sense stop making sense?

As highly as it’s esteemed, the Mayo Clinic still sounds like the place sick sandwiches go to get better.

Shout out to all the experts on the web who know everything there is to know about absolutely everything.

I’m naturally funny because my life is a joke.

Men invented pool tables so they could watch each other bend over.

How do I tell someone respectfully to die in a fire?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨