Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
Looks like we have a new executive chef in the office! 🍴👨‍🍳 Don't forget to savor the unique aroma of success…or maybe just open a window. 😂 #ChefOfTheYear

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I know Jesus was a carpenter, but I think he would’ve been a better plumber, you know, with the water thing.

0

5 months ago

better, carpenter, humor, i, Jesus, joke, know, plumber, religion, thing, think, water
My couch better stop looking at me like that, it knows exactly what it’s doing.

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2 months ago

better, couch, doing, exactly, furniture, humor, judgment, knows, laziness, looking, me, personality, stop
I think some of you are faking your sarcasms.

0

2 months ago

faking, humor, i, sarcasm, think
If you get drunk and message your ex, don’t worry. When you wake up, send bitcoin ads and pretend you were hacked.

0

2 months ago

ads, apology, Bitcoin, drunk, ex, hacked, humor, message, pretend, relationship, wake, wake up, worry
Back in the office this morning, trying to remember what I do for work.

0

3 days ago

back, back to work, forgetfulness, humor, i, job, morning, office, remember, trying, work
Can’t, too busy deleting screenshots of my lock screen.

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2 months ago

busy, deleting, distraction, humor, lock, lock screen, phone, procrastination, screen, screenshot, too

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on Threads this month:

My my husband’s favorite thing is when I blame him for losing something that’s actually in my hand.

87 shares on Twitch this month:

Why did they have to bleep out everything R2D2 said?

69 shares on Telegram this month:

Somethіng wrong іn your lіfe? There’s a nap for that.

83 shares on Messenger this month:

Offering someone food, and secretly hoping, they don’t want it.

46 shares on Slack this month:

I get it dogs, I wish I could also bark at strangers approaching my house.

99 shares on YouTube this month:

Your nose is in the middle of your face because it is the scenter.

58 shares on Telegram this month:

Whoever said “out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear inside their tent.

89 shares on YouTube this month:

“Grey” is a better spelling than “gray” because “e” is a greyer letter than “a.” I will not elaborate.

11 shares on Discord this month:

In a packed elevator, everyone is silent. Stomach: I will now demonstrate the mating call of a whale.

64 shares on Messenger this month:

If a zombie and vampire bite each other, who turns who?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Sobriety: because my standards got tired of lowering themselves.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

According to your ex, what’s exactly wrong with you?

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

You know when a donkey followed Shrek home and just kept talking? That’s what it’s like having kids.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

On one hand, it’s terrible to not have access to the Internet, but on the other hand, it’s terrible to have access to the Internet.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

A man messaged me on Insta and said, “You are not looking bad.” This might be the one, y’all.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Geometry is a scam. What do you mean “prove it’s a triangle”? Just look at it.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Got a new Roomba but keeping the old one to see if I can get them to fight.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Do you laugh at your own jokes, or are you emotionally stable?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Addicted to eating one gigantic meal a day like a reptile.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Do you think birds, once they get older, start people-watching?

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

Men, why do you still have the boxes your electronics came in?

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I’m forming a Wham! cover band with 3 other bald guys called Hairless Whisper.

Making waves on Telegram:

You wear a white shirt and all of a sudden everybody wants to go eat spaghetti.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Unfortunately, I don’t give ugly men a chance, because they wouldn’t give me one if I were the ugly one.

Going viral on TikTok:

Me attempting to flirt: So do you like doing things?

Making waves on Telegram:

Stop bothering me, or I will inform you of a behavioral pattern that is noticeable to other people, but I can tell you are not yet aware of.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

All arguments are solvable. The trick? Get naked.

Just shared via Reddit:

When one door closes, lock it securely, along with all your other doors and windows, before any inspirational quotes get in.

Breaking via YouTube:

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Nothing says entitlement like a goose family crossing the road.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Someone at work just farted and I panicked and said ‘compliments to the chef’.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I know Jesus was a carpenter, but I think he would’ve been a better plumber, you know, with the water thing.

My couch better stop looking at me like that, it knows exactly what it’s doing.

I think some of you are faking your sarcasms.

If you get drunk and message your ex, don’t worry. When you wake up, send bitcoin ads and pretend you were hacked.

Back in the office this morning, trying to remember what I do for work.

Can’t, too busy deleting screenshots of my lock screen.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨