Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Oh, lord. I brought my mouth with me to work today and it’s all sass. Prayers, please.
  • God: “Free will was a bad idea. I should have charged for it.”
  • Gender is a just a scam made by big bathroom companies to sell more bathrooms.
  • Got too drunk in the Vietnamese restaurant last night, they said I can never go back. They banh mi.
  • Just a reminder that you’re not allowed to hit your coworkers. Even if they’re stupid. I asked. Twice.
  • Technically, the Friday after July 4 isn’t a holiday. But I think we all know that Americans have a constitutional right to take the fifth.