Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Nobody views your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

If Kanye got hacked, no one would even know.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

My superpower? I can look you right in the eyes while you’re talking and not hear a single word you said.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

There should be a special rating system for movies that tells you how uncomfortable you’ll be if you watch them with your parents.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

I’m often mistaken for an adult because of my age.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Putting mental health before my education is a good idea until it affects my education, which affects my mental health, which affects my education.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

So single the neighborhood cats make ME dinner.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Thinking of becoming the “where’s my hug” guy in prison.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Called in, “Hey, macarena!” this morning.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,516

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

Lord, they down here giving us bills every month after you already paid the price.

Spotted on Slack:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying works.

Spotted on Discord:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your dog can stay home for the hour you’re at the grocery store or restaurant.

Just landed via Threads:

Worst part about job hunting is knowing you don’t want one.

Making waves on Threads:

Your twenties are for working towards a life you later won’t want.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Saying “Who is it?” when the doctor knocks on the exam room door.

Going bananas on X:

80 years from now, this comment section will be full of dead people. Write anything you want.

Just landed via Instagram:

Holding back your sarcastic replies takes a lot of inner strength.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Marriage is where you gasp while your husband is driving, and he gets super annoyed over and over.

Just landed via TikTok:

Apparently, stress balls are not supposed to be thrown at people who are stressing you out.

Sometimes being a woman is just trying to figure out if you’re hormonally sad, seasonally sad, or genuinely falling apart.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Navigating the emotional labyrinth: Is it hormones, seasons, or just life having a giggle? 🤷‍♀️😂🍂

apart, being, emotional, emotional struggle, falling, falling apart, feelings, figure, health, hormonal, hormonal sadness, humor, just, mental, mental health, mood, sad, sadness, seasonal, seasonal sadness, sometimes, struggle, trying, woman

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If I ever had to fight a bear, I hope it’s a gummy bear.

0

2 months ago

bear, ever, fight, gummy, hope, humor, i, joke, wish
Chugging a woman’s entire drink at the bar and then saying “you’re safe, there is nothing in your drink.”

0

2 months ago

bar, chugging, drink, funny situation, humor, interaction, joke, nothing, safety, saying, situation, social, social interaction, woman
When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don’t answer because I’m eating.

0

2 months ago

choice, eating, food, humor, life, love, me, people, priorities, relationship
My OnlyFans is just hours of me untangling Christmas lights.

0

4 weeks ago

Christmas, Christmas light, holiday, hours, humor, just, light, lights, me, OnlyFans, untangling
Me, telling my kids we’re leaving in 30 minutes: We’re leaving in 5 minutes.

0

2 months ago

30, honesty, humor, kids, leaving, me, minutes, parenting, procrastination, time
Nobody calls you old more than people 2 years younger than you.

0

3 months ago

2, age, calls, humor, interaction, nobody, observation, old, people, person, social, social interaction, younger, younger person

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on Messenger this month:

I want to be a house cat and simply slap the shit out of anything in front of me that I do not understand.

57 shares on Facebook this month:

The sexual tension between me and not finishing the last 2 episodes of a drama.

28 shares on Snapchat this month:

No one warned me that being an adult was mostly just hurrying up to get somewhere you don’t want to go in the first place.

37 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When I trip, I always look back to see who or what did it, because it couldn’t have possibly been my fault.

24 shares on TikTok this month:

Why does the dentist have to take an x-ray of my teeth? They right there, bro!

42 shares on Messenger this month:

Gonna take the kids to the planetarium so they can watch YouTube on their phones.

74 shares on Pinterest this month:

There should be an Olympics where athletes can take as many drugs as they want. Like, to hell with y’all, let’s see how high humans can really jump.

24 shares on X this month:

I can melt an ice cube just by staring at it. It takes a while, but I can do it.

17 shares on Twitch this month:

No revenge, because to know me only as a memory is to suffer.

57 shares on Slack this month:

Resting bitch face saves me from so many conversations I don’t want to be part of.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Adulthood is just waking up tired one day, and then being tired forever after that.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Meteorologist: It’s going to get even hotter. Me, on fire: WHAT?

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

I have absolutely no desire to stay in the loop.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

I didn’t lose a girlfriend, I gained an enemy.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Would pay $10 a month for Summer Premium Package without wasps.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

…and so ends another week of me not becoming unexpectedly rich.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Is it ‘My wife and I’ or ‘Me and my wife’? Anyway, we just robbed a liquor store.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

It’s true that I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name, but for my return trip, I rented a camel named Carl.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

The clitoris has 8,000 nerves, if you gonna get on my nerves, get on one of those.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to flirt today.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

Becoming a man doesn’t happen the first time you fight or make love. It happens the first time you see the gas bill and remind everyone that we aren’t trying to heat the outside.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

My wife just pulled me into the other room, and I thought she wanted to have a serious talk, but she just wanted to give me M&M’s without the kids seeing.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Cannabis has many benefits. For example, it makes you retarded. But in addition, it also makes you lazy. No worries though, it also makes you fat and insane.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Today, I want to talk about how people’s houses smell funny, but mine doesn’t.

Spreading quickly via X:

My cat runs a secret cult. I just pay the rent.

Making waves on Discord:

I don’t have read receipts on my phone because why would I tell on myself like that?

Going bananas on Telegram:

Best lie you heard was eat all your food so you can be big and strong. Now look at you. Just big.

Just shared via Messenger:

If I ever win the lottery and decide to invest in a billboard company, I won’t tell anyone; but there will be signs.

Spotted on WeChat:

Humans can accomplish so much, unless it’s parking at a shopping center during the holidays.

Seen just now on Slack:

We do it every night. Annoy each other.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sometimes being a woman is just trying to figure out if you’re hormonally sad, seasonally sad, or genuinely falling apart.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If I ever had to fight a bear, I hope it’s a gummy bear.

Chugging a woman’s entire drink at the bar and then saying “you’re safe, there is nothing in your drink.”

When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don’t answer because I’m eating.

My OnlyFans is just hours of me untangling Christmas lights.

Me, telling my kids we’re leaving in 30 minutes: We’re leaving in 5 minutes.

Nobody calls you old more than people 2 years younger than you.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨