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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Due to rising prices, Dollar Tree is changing their name to ‘Tree Fiddy’.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Just a little reminder to laugh as much as you can, stay hydrated, and don’t let shitty people kill your vibe.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

I have no need to judge people because of their religion, skin color or sexual orientation. Bad behavior is enough for me.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

I ate my exam paper. Which means that pretty soon I’ll pass the test.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

You’ve got to question the legitimacy of the Burger Kingdom if Burger King is just handing out crowns to anybody willy-nilly.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

November moving quicker than two lesbians who met three days ago.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Deeply unfair of people to assume I have my life together just because I’m boring.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Those security guards at the Samsung store are Guardians of the Galaxy.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Sorry, I’m poor, I can’t afford to pay attention.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

How many of y’all are “burn a CD” and “lime wire” old?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,427

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

On my phone, you’ll never see contacts saved as ‘babe’ or ‘love.’ I save full names—first and last—like a government office.

Breaking via TikTok:

In England “booster shot” is spelled “borchestershire shot”.

Going bananas on X:

All I want I for Christmas is to go to the mall in 1986.

Seen just now on Instagram:

If you find me offensive, then I suggest you quit finding me.

Making waves on Slack:

Fundamentally, I understand chess, because I too would never let my king feel unsafe.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I love when I come home, I put on my Adam Sandler clothes.

Seen just now on Discord:

Behold the majestic elephant in its natural habitat, the room.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Please go out, have fun, have friends, make connections. That mysterious lifestyle won’t save you.

Spotted on Discord:

Marry someone the same size as you to avoid decades of annoyance adjusting the seats and mirrors in the car.

Just shared via Instagram:

Life hack: you don’t need salt if you just cry into your dinner.

Sorry for the things I said when the internet was down for 10 minutes.

3 weeks ago

Witty quote about regretting words spoken during a brief internet outage.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When Wi-Fi goes out, I channel my inner Shakespeare… and by that, I mean I become overly dramatic. 📡😅🗣️"

behavior, digital, digital mood, frustration, humor, i, internet, internet outage, minutes, mishap, mood, online, online behavior, online frustration, outage, said, sorry, tech, tech mishap, things

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on Telegram this month:

I need carpenters to remember that beds are also for sex. The aesthetics are great and all, but what is with all the squeaking?

71 shares on Twitch this month:

Hobbies include fake smiling while waiting for people to stop talking.

50 shares on Snapchat this month:

I love icebreakers. They really give me time to anxiously reflect on what the most fun fact about me is, while I don’t listen to anyone else at all.

26 shares on Instagram this month:

You ever wake up from your dreams impressed? Like, damn, that narrative structure was phenomenal.

89 shares on Pinterest this month:

Being a woman is trying to guess what the hell is going on with your body three times a week.

21 shares on Discord this month:

My teen being nice to me is getting really expensive.

64 shares on Slack this month:

Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.

79 shares on X this month:

Studies show that sleepwalking has decreased among Americans over the last 10 years. Typical lazy Americans.

78 shares on YouTube this month:

Hey, sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come.

88 shares on Telegram this month:

If I wore a mood ring, it would probably explode immediately.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Breaking news is really breaking me.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

The sheer audacity of life to ask anything of me today.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Wearing white pants today, so it’s really just a matter of time before I spill something on myself.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

They should invent friends whose schedules line up with yours.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

I wonder how many calories I can burn petting my cat.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

If all men are the same, why does it take women so long to choose one?

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Shuffling into the kitchen in a robe Sunday morning to change the clock on the microwave is the lamest form of time travel ever.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

I once made the irresponsible decision to drink and drive and now I have to live the rest of my days with a coffee stain on my favorite sweater.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Please don’t buy my book on reverse psychology.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

“It’s swimsuit season” I say, eating another swimsuit.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

My desire to be informed is currently at odds with my desire to remain sane.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Some people stay longer in a toilet than in a relationship.

Just landed via Pinterest:

What do you mean a baguette isn’t a female bag?

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Before you send that email, ask yourself: is this a December problem or a January problem?

Just shared via Slack:

People should be able to call in healthy: “Look, I’m not coming into the office today. I feel really good and I don’t want to waste it on being at work.“

Just landed via Twitch:

My cat’s in a bad mood, despite eating and sleeping all day.

Shared recently on Threads:

It’s funny how cats have ears on top of their head, but don’t use them.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I’ll kill the vibe, so you don’t have to.

Trending via Threads:

Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.

Spotted on YouTube:

I have three kids. I should be terrified of sex.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sorry for the things I said when the internet was down for 10 minutes.

Every frozen pizza is a canvas that needs an artist’s touch.

No one ever talks about the 6th love language (being annoying).

I’ve been closer to death than a stable relationship.

When someone asks me if my twins are natural, I tell them no they’re robots.

If I’m ever in a coma, please put chapstick on my lips.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sorry for the things I said when the internet was down for 10 minutes.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Every frozen pizza is a canvas that needs an artist’s touch.

No one ever talks about the 6th love language (being annoying).

I’ve been closer to death than a stable relationship.

When someone asks me if my twins are natural, I tell them no they’re robots.

If I’m ever in a coma, please put chapstick on my lips.

Opening up is like talking to a cop: anything you say can and will be used against you.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨