Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Thinking about ignoring daily mess by creating new holiday decor mess.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

I wish it were social acceptable to say “I don’t care” and walk away mid conversation when you’re bored.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

New challenge called “don’t say ‘wow it’s already dark by five these days’ for the rest of winter”

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Waiting patiently for something good to happen, like that goat in Jurassic Park.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

I really want an emotional support octopus so I can train it to slap people and shoplift.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Guys will say, “I know a spot,” and then take you on a downward spiral.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

If you like pointing out beautiful scenery to three people who are on their phones, a family road trip is for you.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

I’ve never had a beer in the shower; I’m saving it for a very low moment in my life.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Every time I think I’m cooked, God moves mountains for me. That’s so nice of Him.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

“You’re overthinking this!” Bro, I have anxiety. I have no other type of thinking available.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,656

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

“What’s a random act of kindness you’ve done for a stranger recently?” I helped a bunch of teens buy alcohol and cigarettes the other day.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Combining breakfast and lunch: Brunch. Combining wine and dinner: Winner.

Freshly posted on Slack:

My favorite conspiracy theory is that things will get better.

Just shared via WeChat:

My soul leaving my body when the lecturer says “let’s hear from someone who hasn’t spoken yet”

Breaking via Threads:

No camera can do justice to a landscape that melts your heart.

Shared recently on X:

I’m so talented I can not only spill food on my clothes but I can get it on yours too.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Old and bitter feels much better than I thought it would.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Everyone knows that Christmas is the celebration of the immaculate conception of Mariah Carey.

Live now on Reddit:

The sandwich I made for lunch didn’t even make it until 10am.

Just shared via Twitch:

If I win the lottery, no one around me will be broke, and I truly mean that. I will move to a wealthy neighborhood.

Spotify Wrapped? Next year, maybe you should try to be in the top .05% of listeners to your girlfriend.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Hopefully, your girlfriend gives you her own year-in-review! 😅🎧❤️

competition, girlfriend, humor, listener, maybe, music, next, relationship, should, Spotify, Spotify Wrapped, top, try, wrapped, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Getting older means talking to less people and complaining about more people.

0

2 months ago

aging, changes, complaining, getting, humor, interaction, less, life, life changes, means, older, people, perspective, social, social interaction, talking
I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

0

2 months ago

again, asleep, back, bedroom, cat, chair, crucifix, empty, fall, fear, hate, hisses, holding, humor, i, pet, runs, sleep, superstition
Violence is not the answer, unless you’re a gaggle of children instructed to break into a piñata.

0

2 months ago

activity, answer, break, carnival, children, fun, fun activity, gaggle, humor, party, piñata, playful, violence
Roses are red. Violets are blue. I hate the sounds you make when you chew.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, blue, chew, hate, humor, i, poem, red, roses, roses are red, sounds, violets
Things were better when the computer lived in its own specific room, and you only went in there sometimes.

0

4 months ago

better, computer, humor, lived, nostalgia, old, old times, only, own, privacy, room, sometimes, specific, technology, things, times
We do it every night. Annoy each other.

0

2 months ago

activity, annoy, couple, fun, humor, night, relationship

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on WeChat this month:

I think I’m about six months away from the perfect ‘before’ picture.

76 shares on Telegram this month:

Imagine having a negative opinion of me, and I have no idea who you are.

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Of course, my summer body is ready; it’s the same as my winter body but sweatier.

16 shares on Threads this month:

I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it’s someone’s birthday and I like to celebrate.

93 shares on Slack this month:

Curious that talented athletes frequently credit God when they win, but we rarely see them blame God when they lose.

86 shares on Reddit this month:

Girls know how to flirt until it’s with someone they actually like.

45 shares on Reddit this month:

My age no longer permits me to suffer for love, so if you see me sad, it’s due to lack of money.

51 shares on Messenger this month:

Hey, people, my age. Remember going into the computer lab at school?

93 shares on Snapchat this month:

Good morning to everyone except the people who are missing the ability to read the room.

85 shares on YouTube this month:

Airlines when they need to change your flight: here’s a complimentary napkin. Airlines when you need to change your flight: that’ll be $8700.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

As a child, my family’s mealtime menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

This Christmas, get her the gift that’ll last a lifetime. Give her a tortoise.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Just in case you don’t know, it’s “piqued” your interest, not “peaked”.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

I need a chiropractor for my brain.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

“I” before “E,” except when your foreign neighbor Keith receives eight counterfeit beige sleighs from weird, feisty, caffeinated weightlifters.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

A sandwich has the power to change your entire life.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

I want to be cuddled, but I also want to be left alone. Being crazy is hard.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

I don’t rise and shine. I caffeinate and hope.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Never share a secret with a clock. Because time will tell.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Why can’t I cry money instead of tears?

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

New year update: losing everything but weight.

Going bananas on Reddit:

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.

Making waves on X:

If you ghosted me, don’t come back. Maintain that energy, babe. Stay dead.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I can usually cope with the opinions of others because I don’t listen.

Making waves on Discord:

A hot tub is basically a big bowl of human soup.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Snaccident: eating a whole bag of Doritos in one sitting.

Making waves on Telegram:

Asking for a donation like Wikipedia every time someone asks me a question.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

For the first time in history, you can simply post “He’s an idiot” and 90% of the world will know whom you’re talking about.

Breaking via TikTok:

My favorite part about going camping is the part where I stay at home, and I don’t go camping.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Hi, I’m a social media user, you might know me from such hits as “I’m leaving this stupid place” and “I’m back everybody.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Spotify Wrapped? Next year, maybe you should try to be in the top .05% of listeners to your girlfriend.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Getting older means talking to less people and complaining about more people.

I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

Violence is not the answer, unless you’re a gaggle of children instructed to break into a piñata.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I hate the sounds you make when you chew.

Things were better when the computer lived in its own specific room, and you only went in there sometimes.

We do it every night. Annoy each other.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨