Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

At this point, I’m sure I’ll meet an alien or zombies before I meet the love of my life!

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

“I asked ChatGPT”. I confided in Amazon. I confessed to McDonald’s. I have an inside joke with Exxon Mobil.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

God forbid a girl wanna kiss and be kissed.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Relationships are actually easy when you’re not dating a lying weirdo.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

There should be an Olympics where athletes can take as many drugs as they want. Like, to hell with y’all, let’s see how high humans can really jump.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

The dragon with the girl tattoo.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

It’s not my fault that when I said you looked “stunning” you assumed I meant in a positive way.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

I could never commit gun violence. The only things I know how to reload are my pill caddy and the batteries for the remote.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Only people who grew up before the internet will remember these: spelling, grammar and punctuation.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,290

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

Shout out to the people getting $400 hotel rooms on Feb 14th to do the same two positions they do at home.

Spotted on WeChat:

Anti-capitalism is just code for “I don’t know how anything works.”

Going bananas on X:

Watched Titanic for the 14th time. Still sobbing. Still yelling, “SCOOT OVER, COW!” like it’ll change the ending.

Just shared via Reddit:

New year; new me. Just kidding. I’m already awesome.

Just landed via Messenger:

I don’t just hold a grudge; I love it, pet it, feed it and take it for long walks on the beach.

Going viral on Telegram:

I have the sex drive of a potato.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Mentally, I’m in a forest screaming. Physically, I’m answering emails with a fake smile and clenched jaw.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I love when lashes make me look evil.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

If you voted for someone because “he’s not a politician”, then I hope your next colonoscopy is done by a plumber.

Making waves on TikTok:

I haven’t cleaned my shower in so long, it’s becoming a terrarium. Absolutely gorgeous.

Stay humble and play dumb. People reveal who they truly are when they think they are smarter than you.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Pretending to be a genius undercover as a clueless potato 🥔🤔😂

behavior, dumb, humble, humor, intelligence, interaction, people, personality, play, play dumb, psychology, reveal, self-awareness, smarter, social, social interaction, stay, think, truly

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sometimes uncontrollable laughter is all you need to get the millions of thoughts out of your head.

0

2 months ago

happiness, head, health, humor, joy, laughter, mental, mental health, need, release, relief, sometimes, stress, stress relief, thoughts, uncontrollable
Teens are like, “My homework isn’t done, but check out this presentation I made on why I need Instagram.”

0

2 months ago

check, distraction, done, excuse, homework, i, Instagram, media, need, presentation, procrastination, school, social, social media, technology, teen, teenager, teens, why
Balloons are so weird. “Happy birthday, here’s a plastic sack of my breath.”

0

2 months ago

balloons, birthday, breath, happy, humor, plastic, plastic sack, quirky, sack, sarcastic, weird
“I could see myself living here,” I said, in a different city for more than 24 hours.

0

2 months ago

city, different, here, hours, humor, i, living, myself, observation, relocation, said, travel
I don’t make mistakes, I date them.

0

2 months ago

date, dating, humor, i, mistake, relationship, self-deprecation
My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.

0

2 months ago

boss, every, humor, joke, me, paycheck, presentation, salary, start, work, work humor, workplace

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Messenger this month:

An interviewer asked me how well I can perform under pressure; I said I’m much better at Bohemian Rhapsody.

27 shares on Telegram this month:

Where do I sign up to be one of those influencers with 2M followers whose whole thing is just standing in front of other people’s content and nodding?

20 shares on WeChat this month:

Women aren’t complicated. Just give us attention and leave us alone.

100 shares on Threads this month:

Spotify Wrapped, but for all your bad decisions this year.

36 shares on Slack this month:

There should be a zoo that has people from every country in it.

65 shares on Instagram this month:

Calm yourself, Lucifer. You did the right thing coming to me for advice.

33 shares on Facebook this month:

Me, when someone’s obsessed with me: Yikes! Me, when someone’s not obsessed with me: WTF?

48 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Gonna toot my own horn here because I made it through another day without turning any of my feelings into felonies.

74 shares on Snapchat this month:

Met my soulmate again today: mashed potatoes and gravy.

48 shares on Telegram this month:

Be the nonsense you wish to see in the world.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

If you don’t fall in love with me, I’ll write poetry about you and then you’ll regret it.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

He’s a 10 but so is his volume.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

I only buy cookware with the handles that somehow get hotter than the pot itself.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

“What’s something you’d tell your younger self?” You can have ice cream for dinner, nobody will stop you.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

My doctor told me to try a milk bath. Adding the Cinnamon Toast Crunch was my idea.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Remember when Mustangs were muscle cars and not an embarrassment to the name.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

I would really like to meet this “other candidate” who keeps taking all the jobs I’ve been applying to.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

My husband thinks he can just order me around like he’s one of the cats.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Sorry, can’t. I’m too busy growing new neural pathways to make space for a stranger’s opinion. Evolution takes bandwidth, man.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Reddit:

My fondest childhood memory is being able to sleep through the entire night and waking up rested.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

You sound smart. You some kinda ‘ologist?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Therapy? I have Spotify.

Live now on Instagram:

Lately I have the attention span of wait what?

Seen just now on Reddit:

When does hibernation actually begin? I wanna take part this year.

Just landed via Threads:

I tiptoe near my medicine cabinet because I don’t want to wake my sleeping pills.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Moving houses/apartments gotta be top 3 worst human experiences.

Just shared via Snapchat:

That uncle or aunt who kept their distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense as you get older.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I’ve been so stressed about getting my shit together that I haven’t gotten any of my shit together.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

All the smart people at the office are worried about being replaced by A.I., but not me. I’m safe until they invent Artificial Stupidity.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Stay humble and play dumb. People reveal who they truly are when they think they are smarter than you.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Sometimes uncontrollable laughter is all you need to get the millions of thoughts out of your head.

Teens are like, “My homework isn’t done, but check out this presentation I made on why I need Instagram.”

Balloons are so weird. “Happy birthday, here’s a plastic sack of my breath.”

“I could see myself living here,” I said, in a different city for more than 24 hours.

I don’t make mistakes, I date them.

My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨