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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Zoom is really only for one thing: realizing our dream of staring at ourselves while talking to other people.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

If you’re not in my circle of trust, you’re probably in my triangle of suspicion or rhombus of doubt.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Thinking about quitting my job to focus on my girlfriend.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Tourists love to think that they are not like other tourists.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m so glad I cleaned the house so the kids have a clean canvas to drop their stuff everywhere.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

I’m liking your IG photo from 8 days ago because IG just showed me today!

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Can’t. Typing a password into a TV.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Sleep with each other, or someone else will!

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

I haven’t even gone to bed yet and I already can’t wait to get home from work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

The funniest thing I heard an elder say, “My generation had Wonder Woman, your generation has to wonder if it’s a woman.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

Please stop calling 911 when you see me dancing. I’m fine!

Going bananas on Telegram:

It seems that after checking my bank account, I need to turn to a life of crime.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Podcasts are like babies, they’re too easy to create and not everyone should have one.

Live now on TikTok:

The lion does not concern himself with divorce papers.

Just shared via Threads:

My superpower? Staying calm when talking to idiots.

Live now on Discord:

Men microdose bicuriousness by asking what you’d do for a million dollars.

Shared recently on Messenger:

That awkward moment when someone keeps watching you while you are eating.

Just landed via Threads:

Men become instantly more attractive when they wear aviators; it’s science.

Just landed via Threads:

Striking gold in your 40s: finding a close parking spot that’s in the shade on a hot summer day.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Tested positive for being single af

Still can’t believe we have a federal holiday to celebrate the 1996 hit movie Independence Day.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess they're just trying to make sure we never forget Will Smith's legendary alien punch 😂👽🥊 #WelcomeToEarth

1996, 1996 movie, believe, celebrate, celebration, comedy, culture, day, federal, federal holiday, hit, holiday, holiday humor, humor, independence, Independence Day, movie, movie reference, pop, pop culture, reference, still

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Peak delusion is believing that a paragraph will make someone treat you better.

0

2 months ago

belief, better, communication, delusion, expectations, humor, paragraph, relationships, someone, treat
The sexual tension between me and the alternate reality I daydream about.

0

5 months ago

alternate, alternate reality, awkward, awkward feeling, daydream, feeling, humor, i, imagination, me, reality, sexual, sexual tension, tension
Given the amount of clowns around here, you’d think it would be more entertaining.

0

2 months ago

amount, around, clown, entertaining, entertainment, here, humor, satire, think
The best thing about driving in the snow is staying home.

0

2 months ago

best, driving, home, humor, snow, staying, staying home, thing, winter
Best tips for saving money: lay down and don’t move.

0

2 months ago

advice, best, financial, financial tips, funny advice, humor, joke, lay, laziness, money, money-saving, move, relaxation, saving, tips
When someone asks me why I’m leaving the party early, I say “I’m late for an appointment with my pajamas.”

0

2 months ago

appointment, comfort, early, humor, i, late, leave, leaving, me, pajamas, party, say, social, someone

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on Twitch this month:

A late person is never happier than when the person they’re meeting is later than them.

25 shares on Instagram this month:

If anyone has any experience with anything or knows anything about something, please let me know.

58 shares on Threads this month:

50% of parenting is just trying to decide if that noise is worth walking up all of those stairs.

37 shares on Messenger this month:

Slipping into something a little more comfortable (psychosis).

64 shares on Telegram this month:

Good morning only to those who duel at dawn, drink at dusk, and haunt their lovers in between.

65 shares on Instagram this month:

We need a Disney princess who’s a greedy profiteer, so we can cheer for the poison apple.

76 shares on Twitch this month:

Anti-capitalism is just code for “I don’t know how anything works.”

40 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sorry I’m late, my dog was sleeping in the shape of a donut and I had to take so many photos.

54 shares on Discord this month:

Goodbye, August, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

90 shares on Reddit this month:

Canadians are nice because they’re close to Santa.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Dear unsuccessful applicant, we ultimately decided to split the role between existing staff without paying any of them extra.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

It’s so funny how every true crime documentary eventually devolves into a story about how the police botched the entire investigation.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Cleaning out your camera roll is like the biggest chore ever.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

This summer went by so fast, I didn’t even get a chance to lose any weight.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

I hate when kids scream in public. You don’t have real problems. It should be me screaming.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Cops wake up Christmas morning excited as hell to ignore their family and go sit on the highway with a radar gun for 10 hours.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

The fact that someone looked straight at a purple onion and named it red onion really bothers me.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

So. Fed the laundry and washed the cat. Showered the garbage and disposed of myself. Was there anything else?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

None of this is happening. It’s all in your phone.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

I went downstairs to get my charger. I came back up with a bowl of ice cream and no charger.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

My kid tells me his toothpaste is “too spicy” but he doesn’t seem to be having any trouble with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.

Just shared via Instagram:

Don’t forget to tell yourself more lies today.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

No one buys my theory that red fire hydrants are filled with ketchup and yellow fire hydrants are filled with mustard.

Shared recently on Telegram:

It is a mistake to say that the people who live a hundred years from now will have nothing to laugh at. They can laugh at us.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Why would I date a nonchalant man? I like my men how I like my thong.

Trending via Twitch:

If you ever feel like a failure, just remember, Domino’s tried to open pizza chains in Italy.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Love Island is fun, but when is Job Island on?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Drinking a couple of beers and then getting onto Red Dead Redemption, and just petting my horse and feeding it apples.

Live now on WeChat:

Jokes on you, unknown number. I barely answer my phone for people I know.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

The shitshow must go on.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Still can’t believe we have a federal holiday to celebrate the 1996 hit movie Independence Day.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Peak delusion is believing that a paragraph will make someone treat you better.

The sexual tension between me and the alternate reality I daydream about.

Given the amount of clowns around here, you’d think it would be more entertaining.

The best thing about driving in the snow is staying home.

Best tips for saving money: lay down and don’t move.

When someone asks me why I’m leaving the party early, I say “I’m late for an appointment with my pajamas.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨