Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

A moment of silence for everything I have to do but am not doing.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

I keep pressing the space bar, but I’m still on Earth.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

It’s so peaceful when you have no interest in other people’s business.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Of course I stay hydrated. Carbohydrated.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Trying to work outside on a laptop is like sunbathing on a melting ice cube.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

You will meet a girl who is very strange and a little bit evil. It’s really important that you don’t lose me.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

There’s protein in foods that have never been protein before.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Getting drunk was invented by Big Text to make you send more texts.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

I love beating a dead horse with the girls. There is nothing better than a Saturday night rehashing, and never letting that horse rest in peace.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Cows are very calm, considering the whole floor is food to them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,226

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

90% of the ocean is unexplored, which means there could be a McDonald’s down there.

Making waves on Twitch:

Whoever named them fitting rooms has a lot of nerve.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I’m not afraid of ghosts because everyone who’s mad at me is still alive.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Your password must contain a character… with a tragic backstory.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Oh, how much I love a Sunday when you don’t have to work the next day.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I have no issue with people talking in the morning. But not with me, please!

Making waves on Facebook:

Just got sacked from my job at a think tank for thinking about donuts.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

The winter months remind me that it is crucial to find someone that you’re thermostatically compatible with.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I’m at the age where living in the woods and arguing with a raccoon sounds like a peaceful retirement plan.

Spotted on WeChat:

Thinking about quitting my job to focus on my girlfriend.

Stop making eye contact with me, I can’t afford a wedding right now.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sorry, can't risk falling in love and ending up in debt! 💔💸 Maybe we should just stick to awkward glances instead. 😂"

afford, commitment, contact, eye, eye contact, humor, i, making, me, money, panic, relationship, right, stop, wedding

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“You’re such a stalker!” God forbid a woman wants to know more about her future husband.

0

2 months ago

curiosity, dating, future, God, humor, husband, know, relationship, stalker, wants, woman
Watching a movie on the plane? No thanks. Watching my seatmate’s movie with no audio and not understanding what’s going on for over an hour? Yassss.

0

2 months ago

audio, boredom, entertainment, going, hour, humor, misunderstanding, movie, over, plane, seatmate, thanks, understanding, watching
There’s a Marie Antoinette feeling in the air.

0

2 months ago

air, antoinette, feeling, history, humor, irony, marie, Marie Antoinette, reference
Cancel culture has been canceled.

0

2 months ago

cancel, cancel culture, canceled, commentary, culture, humor, irony, satire, social, social commentary, society, trends
Why are moths always out at night when they like light so much? Wait til y’all find out about the sun.

0

2 months ago

always, humor, irony, light, moth, much, nature, night, observation, sun, wait, why
All I know for sure is that I could be wrong.

0

2 months ago

certainty, doubt, humor, i, irony, know, knowledge, self-awareness, sure, wrong

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on YouTube this month:

Withholding sex from you people isn’t working.

45 shares on TikTok this month:

Sometimes I want to go back in time and punch myself in the face.

67 shares on X this month:

When life gives you lemons maybe think to yourself, “that’s really quite remarkable given how far I live from a climate capable of growing citrus.”

87 shares on WeChat this month:

I hate when you leave your phone on the side, and it brings up that red evil clock.

46 shares on Pinterest this month:

I swear, one more minor inconvenience and I’m running away to join the circus.

96 shares on Pinterest this month:

She’s got style. She’s got grace. She dropped her cellphone on her face. She’s a lady.

76 shares on WhatsApp this month:

College is literally just you, your laptop, and your water bottle against the world.

48 shares on Threads this month:

Thinking of starting a club for people who don’t like to leave their house. There are no meetings.

56 shares on WeChat this month:

Sorry you thought I I was flirting with you; I had something in my eye.

16 shares on Reddit this month:

If white men can’t jump, how do you explain Super Mario?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

While a leaf blower is a close second, my preferred cleaner is a flamethrower.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Crazy part about being an overthinker is most times you right.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Being excited to get in bed is a different level of adulting.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

I am so full of love and anger, like a lava lamp.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

I thought my mixed signals were perfectly clear.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Why is there a level 6 for toasters? As if someone thinks: “Tonight I’m really in the mood for ashes with butter!”

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Single in the womb, single till the tomb!

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Canadian Thanksgiving isn’t the same day as Thanksgiving in the US because Canadians already put gravy on everything every day.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

I just borrowed some money from a cash app, now I’m about to uninstall it.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

I’m only here to test your patience, but like, in a sexy way.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

This year felt like being awake during surgery.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I don’t know which is worse, people stealing your jokes or people not stealing your jokes.

Spotted on Messenger:

Please don’t be mean to me, because I can be meaner and I hate being mean.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Preparing for the apocalypse by becoming fluent in zombie.

Making waves on Threads:

Conflicts may arise but always remember to be the bitter person.

Just landed via Threads:

The heels stay on during sex because I only painted the toe nails that were showing.

Live now on X:

Oh, that gap on my resume is from when I was the architect of my own hell.

Just landed via X:

Normalize saying, “Just as the oracle foretold,” when things go your way.

Live now on Snapchat:

I hate how everything is organic now. I miss chemicals.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Getting a key tattoo, but getting it covered up with a doormat tattoo, so no one ever finds it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Stop making eye contact with me, I can’t afford a wedding right now.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

“You’re such a stalker!” God forbid a woman wants to know more about her future husband.

Watching a movie on the plane? No thanks. Watching my seatmate’s movie with no audio and not understanding what’s going on for over an hour? Yassss.

There’s a Marie Antoinette feeling in the air.

Cancel culture has been canceled.

Why are moths always out at night when they like light so much? Wait til y’all find out about the sun.

All I know for sure is that I could be wrong.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨