Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I’m drinking coffee so I don’t say mean things to you. You’re welcome.
  • My wheelchair keeps making a screaming noise when I run over people.
  • He who laughs last didn’t get it.
  • Non-parents be like: I would simply instruct the toddler to do something he doesn’t want to do, and he would obey.
  • I hate when people are like “you are so nice”. I’m ugly, I have no other choice.
  • Remember when we were young we wanted to stay up for New Year’s? Now we’re old and cursing because we’re staying up past 9:30 and our entire sleep routine is disturbed.