Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
Sounds like a pretty solid defense plan you've got there! Just don't forget to keep extra ammo for when the toaster starts acting up 😂🔫📠🍞

enthusiast, frustration, gun, house, humor, i, keep, next, noise, only, piece, printer, shoot, smart, smart house, tech, tech enthusiast, tech worker, technology, worker

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Starting drama with me the week before my period is an absolutely terrible idea – for you.

0

2 months ago

absolutely, before, drama, humor, idea, me, mood, mood swing, period, relationship, sarcasm, swing, terrible, warning, week, woman
But that was my emotional support daylight.

0

2 months ago

daylight, emotional, emotional support, humor, light, support
When someone loses something, I like to ask helpful questions like ‘Where did you last see it?’ and ‘Where did you put it?’ and ‘Where is it?’

0

1 month ago

advice, ask, help, helpful, humor, i, last, losing, memory, put, question, questions, search, someone, something, where
Source? It was revealed to me on my walk.

0

1 month ago

casual, casual conversation, conversation, humor, me, revelation, source, walk
Never say never. Unless someone asks you when you want to go camping. Then the right answer is always “Never.”

0

2 months ago

always, answer, camping, decision, humor, joke, never, outdoors, refusal, right, sarcasm, say, someone, want
I stopped experimenting in bed after the great honey disaster of 2015.

0

2 months ago

2015, after, bed, disaster, experiment, great, honey, i, mishap, relationship, stopped

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on TikTok this month:

My tattoo means that I can’t be trusted with $200.

33 shares on YouTube this month:

I have browser tabs open that are older than you.

85 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s that time of year again where I go to random restaurants to tell random women, “So this is why you cancelled our date?”, while they’re out with their significant others.

49 shares on Threads this month:

You can always tell it’s Monday because nobody’s smiling.

56 shares on YouTube this month:

To be blocked is to be seen and to be seen is to be loved.

74 shares on YouTube this month:

As a child, my family’s mealtime menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

98 shares on YouTube this month:

Hey boy, are you my washing machine? Because neither of you know how long 10 minutes last.

80 shares on Telegram this month:

Your hoodie strings are uneven. Go home and get your shit together!

31 shares on Reddit this month:

Most people don’t listen at all, they just wait until they can continue talking.

87 shares on Threads this month:

At some point, I need to admit my ‘guilty pleasure’ music taste is just my music taste now.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

In Hell, “Cotton Eye Joe” plays on an eternal loop. The heat and fire are actually pleasant compared to that.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Hate when you’re trying to take a nap and the dentist is all “Please open your mouth.”

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

I ran out of toilet paper so I had to start using old newspapers. The Times are rough.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

I love befriending yappers. They bring the yapping out of me. Then we yap together. Yapping is so much fun.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

If you feel fat and sad just know it’s someone out there fatter than you.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

I need a leaf blower, but for people.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

I’m at that age where someone can call me the wrong name and I’m just like “whatever, I’ll be Dan for a minute”.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

“Grey” is a better spelling than “gray” because “e” is a greyer letter than “a.” I will not elaborate.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Do I work hard? No. But do I work smart to compensate. Absolutely not.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Career anxiety hitting at random hours of the day.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Messenger:

Wonder what I should wear to World War III.

Just shared via Reddit:

I wonder if the scariest moment ever in history has happened yet.

Making waves on X:

By day I am just a regular loser, by night I am the same loser only it’s nighttime.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

The problem with parental controls is I need my kid to help me figure out how to set them up.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I’m sorry I said “I look forward to working with you” during our wedding vows.

Going viral on Slack:

Oh, to live in simpler times, when there was nothing to do but sit by the seashore and contemplate the miracle of existence.

Seen just now on TikTok:

All my life lessons were learned by watching people who took my advice.

Going bananas on Discord:

Good morning, did you have a nice weekend? I ask my many open work tabs.

Breaking via X:

I just need to lie down for a couple of years.

Live now on YouTube:

If you can’t say anything nice, say something funny.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Tech enthusiasts: My entire house is smart. Tech workers: The only piece of technology in my house is a printer, and I keep a gun next to it so I can shoot it if it makes a noise I don’t recognize.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Starting drama with me the week before my period is an absolutely terrible idea – for you.

But that was my emotional support daylight.

When someone loses something, I like to ask helpful questions like ‘Where did you last see it?’ and ‘Where did you put it?’ and ‘Where is it?’

Source? It was revealed to me on my walk.

Never say never. Unless someone asks you when you want to go camping. Then the right answer is always “Never.”

I stopped experimenting in bed after the great honey disaster of 2015.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨