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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Parents become grandparents and lose all their senses. All of a sudden, they got McDonald’s money now.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Ever since I turned 20, someone is always in Japan or Italy. Is it like this forever?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

When Hulk wrecks shit he’s “incredible.” When I do it I’m “causing a scene” and “need to leave this place immediately.”

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

If I was the inventor of healing, I would have made it linear, I can tell you that much.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

If someone ghosts you, respect the dead and never disturb them again.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

The world is in chaos, confess to your crush!

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

If you want to impress me with your car, it better be a food truck.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

How is this the same brain that used to remember everybody’s phone numbers?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Painted a big H in my garden to see if I can trap a helicopter. Wish me luck!

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Every Friday, I’m like, “This weekend I’m getting my life together,” and then… I don’t.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,695

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

Shout out to everyone who cooks at 180°C for 20 minutes, no matter what the instructions say.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I’m never more unattractive than when a bee flies in my face.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Damaged inside, but outside we keep it gangsta.

Spotted on YouTube:

I took the road less traveled because I was hoping not to run into anyone I know along the way.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Parents will give you a lecture about fake friends and then get scammed by their own siblings.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

When you thought something would be easy peasy lemon squeezy, but it’s actually been stressy, depressy, lemon zesty.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Packed all my meds into one bottle for a trip and accidentally invented the best trail mix.

Spotted on Telegram:

You live in a great city when you get pooped on by a seagull instead of a pigeon.

Trending via Facebook:

Think I’ll get high enough to find out if there’s a God. Stay tuned.

Trending via Messenger:

Kids should get the last name of whichever parent has more followers.

That awkward moment when a zombie looking for brains walks right past you.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When even zombies know it's a no-brainer to skip me! 🧠🚶‍♂️😂

awkward, awkward moment, brain, brains, funny situation, humor, joke, looking, moment, past, right, situation, survival, walking, walks, zombie

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Someone was saying that social media makes you miss out on your real life, but have you seen real life?

0

2 months ago

comparison, funny observation, humor, irony, life, life comparison, media, miss, miss out, observation, real, real life, saying, seen, social, social media, someone
If I had a tiny girlfriend, I would love to throw her across gaps so she can pull levers and open doors that get me to her part of the level.

0

4 weeks ago

across, door, doors, game, gap, gaps, girlfriend, humor, i, level, lever, love, me, open, pull, puzzle-solving, relationship, throw, tiny, tiny girlfriend, video, video game
Changing my relationship status from “Single” to “I give up.”

0

2 months ago

changing, dating, give, give up, humor, humor quote, i, joke, relationship, relationship status, single, status
I love ordering things online because when they arrive it’s like a present from me to me.

0

2 months ago

delivery, gift, gift to self, humor, i, joy, love, me, online, online shopping, present, self, self-gift, shopping, shopping joy, surprises, things
Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.

0

2 months ago

context, humor, live, living, me, neighbor, neighbors, next, rude
It’s jarring for me when there are British people in the Midwest. How did you get this far inland?

0

2 months ago

British, culture, culture shock, geography, humor, inland, me, Midwest, people, shock, stereotype, travel

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on Telegram this month:

People should be allowed to leave work early if they want to go see a movie.

30 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If I like you I keep you close, if not I keep you at a distance so I can mime squishing your head between my thumb and forefinger.

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Years of personal growth can be unraveled in 2 days at your parents’ house.

18 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Of course, a wife can complain to her mother-in-law. She has every right to complain to the manufacturer.

83 shares on Threads this month:

Netflix and chi…cken nuggets.

10 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Whoever allowed me to become an adult needs to be fired.

83 shares on Facebook this month:

I can’t believe I slept good all night. What a rush.

34 shares on Reddit this month:

I changed my password to ‘incorrect’ so whenever I forget it, the computer tells me it’s incorrect, and I’m like, ‘Wow, you didn’t have to be so rude about it.’

61 shares on Telegram this month:

I lied, there’s no sex. Can you tell me a bedtime story?

63 shares on Reddit this month:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s Wednesday.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

If you’re a squatter, every day is leg day.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Saying “shut up” before skipping the YouTube ad is literally necessary.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Not sure what’s longer: a microwave minute or watching a video while someone else is holding the phone, insisting it’s hilarious.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Doggy style means I get a treat afterwards, right?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Any day now, there will be a child born and named Labubu.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Bruce Lee had a faster older brother named Sudden Lee.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Microdosing Christmas by being present.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Why is there a level 6 for toasters? As if someone thinks: “Tonight I’m really in the mood for ashes with butter!”

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

I wish I was as tired in bed at night as I am after lunch at work.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

They should make a drug that recreates the feeling of having your number called earlier than expected.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

I don’t wanna meet your family, bring my plate to the car.

Spotted on Twitch:

Commenting “what about us?” on all Valentine pics this year.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you talk on speakerphone in public, everyone around you hates you.

Seen just now on X:

It’s like no one in my family appreciates that I stayed up all night overthinking for them.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I’m putting free wifi on my gravestone, so people will come visit me.

Seen just now on X:

Me: This is my favorite. I would like to buy this exact same item of clothing again. The fashion industry: No.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

That awkward moment when a zombie looking for brains walks right past you.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Someone was saying that social media makes you miss out on your real life, but have you seen real life?

If I had a tiny girlfriend, I would love to throw her across gaps so she can pull levers and open doors that get me to her part of the level.

Changing my relationship status from “Single” to “I give up.”

I love ordering things online because when they arrive it’s like a present from me to me.

Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.

It’s jarring for me when there are British people in the Midwest. How did you get this far inland?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨