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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Heard a recording of my own voice, and now I can never speak again.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Female rage is your handbag continuously slipping off your shoulder.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Reverse cowgirl, so we can both address the elephant in the room.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

The final stage of being single is when you listen to a love song and no one comes to mind; at that point, you’ve achieved absolute singularity.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

There should be bloopers at the end of horror movies, so it relaxes you before bedtime.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

The devil couldn’t reach me, so he made sure that the love I give is never reciprocated.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

If you ever feel like a failure, just remember, Domino’s tried to open pizza chains in Italy.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Diabetes was the God of sugar.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

We are talking about how beautiful and cool you are behind your back.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

I would rather walk barefoot across a carpet made out of Legos than go to my high school reunion.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,530

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

Spotted on Snapchat:

It’s Mother’s Day Eve so remember to leave out a bottle of wine for Mom when she comes down the chimney.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Victor Frankenstein being only 23 years old when he made the monster is crazy to me, he should have been at the club.

Going viral on YouTube:

You can’t be everyone’s cup of tea, let them sip on their own bland brew.

Breaking via WeChat:

Being late to work should never be that serious. At least I came?

Freshly posted on Threads:

Don’t talk to me unless you are a ham sandwich.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

If I had a tiny girlfriend, I would love to throw her across gaps so she can pull levers and open doors that get me to her part of the level.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Welcome to your 40s. A random back pain will be assigned to you shortly, and you’ll never know what flares it up every time.

Spotted on Telegram:

I know it hurts like hell, and you don’t think you can do it, but it’s just one push-up.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Why can’t men just call you pretty without wording it uncomfortably?

That thing they say about getting drunk with the love of your life in a walkable city is no joke. It hits like crack.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like true love and urban planning are the new dynamic duo 🍷💑🚶‍♂️🌆

addiction, city, crack, date, drunk, getting, humor, joke, life, love, nightlife, relationship, say, thing, walkable, walkable city

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Memories are a bit fuzzy – but regrets? They’re in 8K and Dolby Vision.

0

2 months ago

8K, bit, clarity, dolby, Dolby Vision, fuzzy, humor, memory, nostalgia, regrets, technology, vision
Incredibly annoying that exercising, eating right, and drinking water can make you actually feel good.

0

2 months ago

actually, annoying, drinking, eating, exercise, exercising, feel, feel good, fitness, good, health, right, water, wellness
It’s crazy windy today. Trash is blowing everywhere, so watch out for your ex.

0

2 months ago

blowing, crazy, everywhere, ex, humor, nature, relationship, today, trash, watch, weather, wind
Parents be like “why aren’t you eating, don’t you like my food?” and after you eat a ton, they’ll say “you look a little chubby, maybe you should eat less.”

0

2 months ago

chubby, contradictions, dynamics, eat, eating, family, family dynamics, food, guilt, humor, less, little, parents, say
This Monday is Mondaying like it’s never Mondayed before.

0

2 months ago

before, frustration, humor, Monday, never, repetition, weekday, workday
I wish we were cats so you could just randomly slap co-workers for no reason.

0

2 months ago

cat, cats, co-worker, coworkers, humor, i, just, random, reason, slap, wish, workplace

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on Telegram this month:

So deep in her Instagram story, I accidentally liked an ad for a Toyota.

91 shares on Threads this month:

Can anyone recommend some good places for somebody just getting into visiting?

64 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Maybe the elephant doesn’t want to be addressed, and we should respect their boundaries.

48 shares on TikTok this month:

Jesus rose from the grave because he forgot to clear his browser history.

34 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t like how monkeys have taken ownership of the whole banana thing. I bet I like bananas almost as much as they do.

33 shares on Reddit this month:

The angel and devil on my shoulders are both completely fed up with me.

27 shares on YouTube this month:

If you need me, I will be at the library sniffing old books.

43 shares on Facebook this month:

Going to the beach is 99% getting ready for the beach and 1% enjoying the beach.

33 shares on Telegram this month:

The eyes are the windows to the soul. A mustache is the front garden, and the mouth is that big pothole the council should do something about.

22 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I will never forget when my dad had a guy from Verizon call me in middle school to tell me that I was using more data than Obama and that I need to stop.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Hate when you’re trying to take a nap and the dentist is all “Please open your mouth.”

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

I love men with a provider fetish.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

I got so lost there for a minute (several years).

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

I’m not starting a presentation with “ladies and gentlemen”, I’m using the gender neutral “to those who heed my warnings”.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

I bet before the band got popular, Barenaked Ladies concerts had a lot of pissed off attendees.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please put some money in its pocket.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

I’m not exaggerating when I say, if I ever clogged a toilet at work, I would immediately quit, change my name, and then move to a different city.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

You’re the human embodiment of an “ugh.”

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

I need to stop saying “Oppa Gagnam Style!” to fill in awkward pauses in conversation.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

I don’t hate anyone in particular, I just hate everyone in general.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I am at work.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I’m broke — I got money, but it’s for responsibilities.

Just shared via Messenger:

I’m letting go of all earthly attachment — exactly like Buddha, except for the things I like and want.

Trending via Twitch:

No one is excited to see me in shorts except mosquitoes.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

If you get bitten by a snake and you’re not sure if it was poisonous, simply wait to see if you die or not. That should give you your answer.

Just landed via Reddit:

A dating app for people who are shy called Mumble.

Just shared via Threads:

An orgasm before bed is nature’s strongest sleep aid.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Gardeners are the only people who willingly go outside to get dirty, sweaty, bitten, and sunburned… and call it “relaxing”.

Just landed via Twitch:

My diet plan is sometimes, when I’m eating chips, I drop some on the floor, and I don’t eat those ones.

Shared recently on Threads:

If you take a social media sabbatical, don’t announce it. Just make your last post something fun like “I wonder if there’s a bear in this cave?”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

That thing they say about getting drunk with the love of your life in a walkable city is no joke. It hits like crack.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Memories are a bit fuzzy – but regrets? They’re in 8K and Dolby Vision.

Incredibly annoying that exercising, eating right, and drinking water can make you actually feel good.

It’s crazy windy today. Trash is blowing everywhere, so watch out for your ex.

Parents be like “why aren’t you eating, don’t you like my food?” and after you eat a ton, they’ll say “you look a little chubby, maybe you should eat less.”

This Monday is Mondaying like it’s never Mondayed before.

I wish we were cats so you could just randomly slap co-workers for no reason.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨