Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Does anyone actually know how to pronounce Worcestershire sauce correctly, or do we all just stumble through it and hope for the best?

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Hello darkness, my old friend. Why are you here? It’s 6:00 pm.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

I used an air fryer for the first time tonight, and I feel like I just discovered fire.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Thaw me like one of your french fries!

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

I disagree with my politics.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Three drinks in and that skateboard outside is looking rideable.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

We were supposed to have flying cars and other cool stuff, but instead we have AI videos showing Michael Jackson eat at McDonald’s.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

This email could’ve been sex.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

I leave the blue tick on WhatsApp so that people can see exactly when I wasn’t interested.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

The quality of clothing at retail stores today is quite literally the quality that Halloween costumes used to be.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

298 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,567

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,567

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,271

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward screams.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I drink so much coffee, people feel jittery when they see a picture of me.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

My front facing camera got me looking like a failed science project.

Trending via Instagram:

Weekends are a scam, you spend one day exhausted and the other day anxious. Like, what the hell was that?

Just shared via Discord:

No matter how early you get up, fate always gets up half an hour earlier.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

The quickest way to double your money is to hold it in front of a mirror.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Getting mad at your hair is a whole different kind of angry.

Spotted on Discord:

Somewhere, a therapist you never met knows about you.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I just want someone who can read a book with me in silence, and then do ungodly things sometimes.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Doctors who give out lollipops really treat their patients.

The angel and devil on my shoulders are both completely fed up with me.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Even my imaginary friends are requesting a transfer 😂👼😈

angel, both, conflict, devil, frustration, humor, inner, inner conflict, me, self-awareness, shoulder, shoulders

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Shopping is the only exercise I need.

2 months ago

activity, exercise, fun, fun activity, humor, i, leisure, need, shopping
It used be called “talking to yourself” but the new term for it is “podcasting”.

2 months ago

communication, entertainment, humor, new, podcasting, self-talk, talking, term, used, yourself
I am simply too intelligent to be happy.

2 months ago

am, happiness, happy, humor, i, intelligent, irony, self-awareness, too, wisdom
Everyone hates drama, yet somehow the tabloids remain in business.

2 months ago

busines, business, drama, entertainment, everyone, humor, irony, media, society, tabloid
Employees should have to take their boss’s last name.

2 months ago

boss, employee, employees, hierarchy, humor, joke, last, last name, management, name, office, office joke, should, take, workplace, workplace humor
The ultimate student paradox: skipping class to avoid stress, only to stress about skipping class!

3 months ago

avoid, avoid stress, class, life, only, paradox, skip, skip class, skipping, stress, student, student life

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You’re old if you’re excited to learn how to play Mahjong.

33 shares on WhatsApp this month:

There are people on TV who are not ruined by fame, but who ruin fame.

84 shares on TikTok this month:

Never going into a job interview nervous again, because, wow, it is literally a free invitation to talk about how amazing I am.

51 shares on Telegram this month:

Working with children gives you so much in return. Lice, for example.

46 shares on Discord this month:

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

83 shares on X this month:

The problem with salad is, it’s salad.

91 shares on WeChat this month:

Toddlers: the brutally honest roommates nobody asked for!

61 shares on Reddit this month:

Got sent to HR for calling someone a “jellyfish” — just floating around all day, doing absolutely nothing.

67 shares on Threads this month:

Need to win the lottery so I can focus on going to museums and working out.

16 shares on Discord this month:

It sucks that the reward for being responsible, is just a bunch of new responsibilities.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Why can’t periods just last for an hour? Like, you made your point, I’m not pregnant, you can leave now.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Snakes don’t hiss anymore, they call you babe, bro, or friend.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

My wife screamed “you haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?!” I was taken aback, what a weird way to start a conversation.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

We put a man on the moon in 1969, and if you elect me to be your president, I promise that we will not stop until every man is on the moon.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

People call me a “Trekkie,” but I’m not. I’ve only seen Star Wars a couple of times.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Sometimes I watch people do their jobs, and I’m like, damn, you might benefit from a little imposter syndrome, actually.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

During arguments with idiots, I wish I could throw a flash bang and disappear.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Playing dead when a cop pulls me over.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

People at the library need to learn how to be quiet. Some of us are trying to beatbox over here.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Santa Claus isn’t real. Ain’t no man checking a list twice.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

God ate when he created sleep, what a beautiful concept.

Trending via Threads:

With me, it isn’t Netflix & chill. It’s Prime & panic.

Freshly posted on X:

Packed all my meds into one bottle for a trip and accidentally invented the best trail mix.

Just landed via Twitch:

I am not leaving this house until my hoodie strings are even.

Just landed via Telegram:

Stretching is not enough. I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

Making waves on Messenger:

The sweet spot is just enough pain to know you’re alive, but not quite enough to wish you were dead.

Just landed via X:

I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control. I thought to myself, “Wow, this changes everything.”

Seen just now on Telegram:

Your pronouns are “side/chick”.

Making waves on Twitch:

Had calamari for the first time ever, and it wasn’t that bad. Maybe I’ll try marriage next.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The angel and devil on my shoulders are both completely fed up with me.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Shopping is the only exercise I need.

It used be called “talking to yourself” but the new term for it is “podcasting”.

I am simply too intelligent to be happy.

Everyone hates drama, yet somehow the tabloids remain in business.

Employees should have to take their boss’s last name.

The ultimate student paradox: skipping class to avoid stress, only to stress about skipping class!

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨