Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

I highly recommend getting yourself a “How can I help” partner and not a “You will be fine” partner.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

We all got a little Barbie in us (the microplastics).

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Are cassette tapes considered classical music yet?

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Hey man, be careful on the trampoline, one of my buddies never came back down.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

What if AirPods had tongues and they started licking the inside of your ears to indicate they’re low on battery?

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

It’s so foggy outside. Y’all gotta stop vaping.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

I hope this 17th text in a row with no response finds you well.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

I prefer to use deodorant immediately after shaving my armpits so that I can feel that I’m still alive.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Yeah, bro, she’s probably just not using her phone right now, for the first time ever in her whole life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,322

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

I wasn’t feeling well so I googled my symptoms. I either have allergies or I died two days ago.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Do you think they’re called cough drops because when you cough really hard they drop out of your mouth onto the floor?

Shared recently on Telegram:

Discovered a new coping mechanism called lashing out and making your loved ones resent you.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

He’s an everything bagel… I’m just a nothing burger…

Going bananas on Slack:

Normalize ending a hang-out abruptly by saying ‘I wanna go home now’ and then going home.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Life tip: if nothing goes right, go to sleep.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Stay humble, you are someone’s weird coworker.

Just landed via Threads:

I have been so toxic and horny lately, I should probably start, like, reading a book or something.

Just landed via Twitch:

Every time my neighbors start moaning, I pause my music to rate the performance.

Breaking via Telegram:

I changed my password to ‘incorrect’ so whenever I forget it, the computer tells me it’s incorrect, and I’m like, ‘Wow, you didn’t have to be so rude about it.’

The collective noun for a group of reply guys is an audacity.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
An audacity of reply guys: where every comment is a standing ovation to their own opinion 😂🙌

audacity, behavior, collective, culture, group, guy, guys, humor, internet, internet culture, media, noun, online, online behavior, reply, reply guy, sarcastic, social, social media

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“This is a great weekend to clean out the garage,” according to my wife and other people who won’t be cleaning the garage.

0

1 month ago

chore, clean, cleaning, garage, great, humor, people, procrastination, weekend, wife
Shaking my head like an Etch a Sketch to get my thoughts right.

0

2 months ago

creativity, etch, Etch a Sketch, head, humor, mind, right, shaking, shaking my head, sketch, thoughts
“I’ll just iron my clothes for work in the morning,” he thought in stupid bachelor.

0

2 months ago

Bachelor, clothes, iron, just, morning, stupid, thought, work
Start every meeting with, “Let’s just agree to disagree.”

0

2 months ago

agree, communication, conflict, disagree, every, humor, just, meeting, negotiation, start, workplace
I wonder what the other me’s are up to in other dimensions.

0

2 months ago

alternate, alternate dimension, curiosity, dimension, humor, i, parallel, parallel universe, self, universe, wonder
Guess I’ll be getting the same thing for Christmas, again. Fat!

0

2 weeks ago

again, Christmas, fat, getting, gift, guess, holiday, humor, joke, repetition, same, self-deprecation, thing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on Threads this month:

Netflix needs to stop asking if I’m still watching and start asking if I moved the laundry to the dryer yet.

41 shares on Twitch this month:

Decorated the house across the street so I can look out the window and enjoy my handiwork.

64 shares on Slack this month:

You see how in cartoons, when they’re hungry, their friends start looking like a chicken leg? That’s how ovulation feels.

98 shares on Reddit this month:

Coffee doesn’t even work on me anymore. I just drink it because the taste tricks my brain into thinking I’m a functioning adult.

97 shares on Messenger this month:

I have the sex drive of a potato.

52 shares on Telegram this month:

Breakfast in bed: where your cozy blanket turns into a crumby crime scene.

49 shares on Instagram this month:

I know this ain’t smart, but that never stopped me before.

41 shares on Instagram this month:

Being anti-AI right now feels like being one of the few unbitten humans in a zombie apocalypse.

44 shares on Threads this month:

Good things happen when you smile or when you’re naked.

95 shares on LinkedIn this month:

They say every snowflake is different, as if someone actually checked them.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

I was actually a little too thankful yesterday so today I’m going to even it out with some ungratefulness and entitlement.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Start every phone call with “My battery is at 5%” so you can hang up whenever you want.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Can’t wait to get past this phase of my life. I need to see what all of this was for.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Perhaps the most universal American experience is your mom being like, “Wasn’t he such a good dentist? He’s in prison now.”

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

“Grey” is a better spelling than “gray” because “e” is a greyer letter than “a.” I will not elaborate.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Stop using ChatGPT. You got a question, you come to me first.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

It’s funny we got universal near-perfect free translation, and the world didn’t really change at all.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Having a good heart has done nothing but made me look stupid.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

How many of y’all are “burn a CD” and “lime wire” old?

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

The only reason I insist on returning to the office is because my cat needs a break from me staring at him all day.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

Let’s ride this misunderstanding into the sunset.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

When God closes a door, he opens a window. Unfortunately, we are in a submarine.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

A massage is not enough, I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

Going viral on X:

I’m already cold. I know me and my low iron ain’t gonna survive winter.

Going viral on Messenger:

I hate when people set alarms and it wakes up everybody except for them.

Going viral on X:

Forgetting to put jewelry and perfume on is literally the worst feeling.

Going viral on Instagram:

The hottest thing a man can be is boring in his 30s.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I always take responsibility for my actions when there is no one else around to blame.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Being sexy is just the cherry on top. I’m actually a genius and the sweetest girl ever.

Trending via X:

I have the sex drive of a potato.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The collective noun for a group of reply guys is an audacity.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

“This is a great weekend to clean out the garage,” according to my wife and other people who won’t be cleaning the garage.

Shaking my head like an Etch a Sketch to get my thoughts right.

“I’ll just iron my clothes for work in the morning,” he thought in stupid bachelor.

Start every meeting with, “Let’s just agree to disagree.”

I wonder what the other me’s are up to in other dimensions.

Guess I’ll be getting the same thing for Christmas, again. Fat!

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨