Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Nighttime is when I remember that one weird thing I said in 6th grade, and feel bad about it forever.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Some people stay longer in a toilet than in a relationship.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Got me some lemons now for the cold. I hope the tequila helps.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Exercise won’t cure your depression, but it can make you hotter than your enemies.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Pouring Diet Coke directly into my gunshot wound.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

I don’t always whoop, but when I do, there it is.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Netflix should’ve just maybe mailed us all this fight on DVD.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Give it to me straight, doc, what can I do to be healthier besides changing my entire lifestyle?

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

You didn’t lock in hard enough if you’re not feeling asexual.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Checking Twitter now is like staring into your refrigerator to see if anything good has magically appeared.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,495

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a car.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Randomly hearing your favorite song is more satisfying than putting it on yourself.

Just landed via Discord:

My body can’t handle the stress of loving anyone romantically, ever.

Going viral on WeChat:

Dinosaurs never had coffee, and we see how that turned out.

Seen just now on Telegram:

“Communism sounds good in theory, but doesn’t work in practice.” Capitalism doesn’t even sound good in theory.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Having a dirty mind and an innocent face is truly a blessing.

Live now on X:

Santa punched a hole in my wall because I left him soy milk.

Just shared via Messenger:

I don’t think people are actually getting any dumber. I think stupid people have just become way more confident.

Just shared via Threads:

Let’s draft everyone who has their phone on military time first, since you’re all so eager.

Seen just now on Messenger:

At what age do people actually meet up to play bingo? I’m ready.

The fewer friends at your birthday party means more cake for you. Follow me for more life hacks.

3 months ago

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Commentary:
"Finally, a math equation I can get behind: fewer friends = more cake! 🎂🍰😋 #CakeEconomics"

birthday, cake, celebration, follow, friends, friendship, fun, hack, humor, joke, life, life hack, me, means, party

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55 shares on Telegram this month:

In a parallel universe, there’s a happy me.

72 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Before I agree to the new year, I wanna read the terms and conditions.

60 shares on YouTube this month:

My cat, who has no job and pays no rent, is apparently unhappy with his fancy new cat food, and I, for some reason, am currently on my way back to the store to rectify the matter.

53 shares on Snapchat this month:

Old people are right about crosswords and morning stretches, I will admit.

67 shares on Threads this month:

Insurance is cool because even if you have it, it still kinda feels like you don’t.

92 shares on Facebook this month:

Welcome to your 40s! You’re gonna need several doctors, no matter how many apples.

70 shares on Instagram this month:

Netflix subtitles be like “speaking foreign language”. Bro, translate it!

33 shares on Messenger this month:

What I’m trying to say is, “Hello, here’s my entire heart and all of my devotion.”

62 shares on WeChat this month:

Middle children as adults still trying to get attention because the oldest is being dramatic and the younger child is getting away with everything.

45 shares on WeChat this month:

When someone sits in the empty seat beside you: flattered yet annoyed. When no one sits in the empty seat beside you: offended yet relieved.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

That made me feel good. I think I’ll become addicted.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Math is like Chinese to me.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Welcome to middle age: your chin looks lonely; here’s another one.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

I’m not fragile like a flower. I’m fragile like a bomb.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

You’d be surprised how many times you can use the word succulent in a work email.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Dissecting an alien and getting bitterly jealous at their crazy organs.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

I’m always a little mean to men because, if you treat them like humans, they think you wanna sleep with them.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Go ahead. Order anything you want. Money is no object when we dine at IKEA.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Every time I blink, it’s Monday again. I can’t live like this.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

I’ve added lunges to my workout routine. It’s a big step forward.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via TikTok:

Career? Never heard of her. I’m majoring in sunshine and snacks.

Shared recently on Instagram:

If you find me offensive, then I suggest you quit finding me.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Everything I like is either expensive, illegal, or wont text me back.

Just shared via Telegram:

In my years of experience, people who disagree with me are usually wrong.

Shared recently on X:

I don’t want to end this year on bad terms with anybody. Could you please apologize to me?

Broadcasted on Discord:

(guy who’s not even that into you) I love you.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I’m living in a parallel universe where I suck at parking.

Going viral on WeChat:

Sorry, I can’t go out this weekend. I went out last weekend, and I’m still recovering from that.

Making waves on Telegram:

I’m ready for a new relationship. My past is buried in the backyard, to fertilize the tomatoes.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Carefully choosing which wine to pair with a McRib.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The fewer friends at your birthday party means more cake for you. Follow me for more life hacks.

Hey, I came over because the grass seemed really green here, but now that I’m looking back that grass actually looks crazy green, so I’m gonna go.

Nonchalant men are not for me. I want mine to have a panic attack if we’re not talking.

It’s almost time to switch from my everyday anxiety to my fancy Christmas anxiety.

Keeping my mouth shut is usually not enough to avoid an argument with my husband. I also have to deactivate the subtitle function on my face.

The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 26 minutes and was performed by the child sitting behind me on a flight from LA to Tokyo.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The fewer friends at your birthday party means more cake for you. Follow me for more life hacks.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Hey, I came over because the grass seemed really green here, but now that I’m looking back that grass actually looks crazy green, so I’m gonna go.

Nonchalant men are not for me. I want mine to have a panic attack if we’re not talking.

It’s almost time to switch from my everyday anxiety to my fancy Christmas anxiety.

Keeping my mouth shut is usually not enough to avoid an argument with my husband. I also have to deactivate the subtitle function on my face.

What’s wrong with the people who come to visit on Sundays? Don’t they have a couch?

The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 26 minutes and was performed by the child sitting behind me on a flight from LA to Tokyo.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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