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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Them: You post a lot. What am I supposed to do here – fold laundry on the timeline?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Thank God I have a cat. Who else is gonna shit in this box I have?

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

I’m not saying I’m messy, but if Copperfield knew what I can make disappear, he’d be jealous.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Just did my own taxes, I should be in jail by Friday.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Men have nice skin because they stress out everyone but themselves.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

And for my next trick, I’m going to miss you in a million unspoken ways.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

They expect me to work at work.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Watching women’s tennis and getting angry at the net. We shouldn’t put needless obstacles in the way of women.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

If she says “it’s fine,” you’re probably in trouble.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

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17,766

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15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,340

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

“Try it all before you die” is always drugs and sex, never quantum physics.

Trending via Threads:

Of course I do cardio. It’s called running from my problems.

Going bananas on Facebook:

I know everything is expensive right now, but just remember correcting people’s grammar online is still free.

Breaking via Instagram:

Home is where you can look ugly and enjoy it.

Trending via Slack:

I am a man, a man with a cold, so I guess this is goodbye.

Making waves on Snapchat:

What’s it called when you mentally want to be horny but you’re physically not at all?

Spotted on YouTube:

You may find my attraction to Goofy weird, but I don’t give a hyuck.

Going viral on YouTube:

We like to vilify hot people, but it’s important to know that people who aren’t hot are also terrible.

Just shared via Discord:

It’s awesome when people honk at you for not moving when you’re letting people cross. You’re right, bro, I should just annihilate this family of four.

The lion does not concern himself with the few small drops of pee that got on his boxers at the urinal even after he did a few shakes to be sure.

1 hour ago

Funny Quotes

Playful quote about a confident lion ignoring minor mishaps at the urinal.

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Commentary:
🦁 "When you're the king of the jungle, a little sprinkle is just extra seasoning! 👑💦"

after, attitude, bathroom, concern, confidence, drops, embarrassment, even, humor, lion, masculinity, pee, shake, shower, small, sure, urinal

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61 shares on Threads this month:

You will be having the worst morning of your life and then someone will start mowing their lawn.

71 shares on Telegram this month:

People say I act like I don’t care. It’s not an act.

81 shares on Snapchat this month:

Candy companies will look you straight in the eye and lie about how they know what a banana tastes like.

22 shares on X this month:

Oh, I didn’t tell you? Must have been none of your business, then.

46 shares on Facebook this month:

Foolproof? Yeah, well we’ll see about that.

86 shares on Telegram this month:

I hate when I go to the kitchen looking for food, and all I find is ingredients.

14 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m just here to make you wish I wasn’t.

48 shares on Reddit this month:

There are two wolves inside me, but please no one tell my landlord.

85 shares on Discord this month:

If my trainee says “oh God” one more time, he’s going to meet him.

11 shares on Messenger this month:

Don’t underestimate your white tee and denim jeans.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

I say “long story short,” and suddenly we’re in Act III with an intermission.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Is there a bravery award I can nominate my son for as he managed to eat his toast despite the fact I cut it wrong.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Reverse cowgirl is not a fair trade because, why do you get a view of my sexy back, and all I’m seeing are your toes throwing gang signs?

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

When you say “You’re going to hate me for this,” you’re making a very large assumption that I don’t hate you already.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

I hate how everything is organic now. I miss chemicals.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Is there anyone here old enough to remember when typing was a class in high school?

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Cheating before AI required a level of effort that you ended up learning something by default.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Congratulations on getting to the red light first. You’re special.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

I need to stop saying “Oppa Gagnam Style!” to fill in awkward pauses in conversation.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not dying, it’s just Thursday.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

Love when people summon Grok and there’s no reply. He just doesn’t care sometimes.

Trending via YouTube:

We were having tea with my mother-in-law the other day and out of the blue she said, “I’ve decided I want to be cremated.” I said, “Alright, get your coat.”

Just landed via TikTok:

On average, my daily actions demonstrate I’m probably good at something else.

Just landed via Facebook:

Porn looks so funny when you’re not horny.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Stretching isn’t enough. I need to be able to disassemble my body like Legos.

Live now on WeChat:

There should be a three-day weekend: one day to do nothing, one day to do something, and one day to do laundry.

Live now on Pinterest:

The only downside to dating hot men is that when it ends, he’s still hot.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

If I like cleaning? Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I think, therefore I am. I am, therefore I think. Therefore I am. I think.

Trending via Twitch:

Who’s up thinking about the crushing weight of existence?

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Activity Log ✨

The lion does not concern himself with the few small drops of pee that got on his boxers at the urinal even after he did a few shakes to be sure.

I don’t like this new trend of old people wearing shirts of bands I listened to when I was a kid.

Me at war: You guys mind if I leave a bit early today?

My guardian angel is probably preoccupied with sports betting apps and generative AI, that’s why she’s letting all these bad things happen to me.

Having little kids is great because I love spending hundreds of dollars each week to feed my floor and my trash can.

Why do they have to make things childproof when I’m still functioning at a kindergarten level of dexterity?

If you listen to my husband snore, you don’t need Jurassic Park anymore.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The lion does not concern himself with the few small drops of pee that got on his boxers at the urinal even after he did a few shakes to be sure.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I don’t like this new trend of old people wearing shirts of bands I listened to when I was a kid.

Me at war: You guys mind if I leave a bit early today?

My guardian angel is probably preoccupied with sports betting apps and generative AI, that’s why she’s letting all these bad things happen to me.

Having little kids is great because I love spending hundreds of dollars each week to feed my floor and my trash can.

Why do they have to make things childproof when I’m still functioning at a kindergarten level of dexterity?

If you listen to my husband snore, you don’t need Jurassic Park anymore.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨