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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

I’ve worn oversized T-shirts so much that I suffocate if I wear one that actually fits.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Good luck sending me mixed signals. Most the time I can’t even understand the direct ones.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

I hate when recipes tell you to take something out of the pan and add it back in later. No way bro. It’s staying in there.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Today, I want to talk about underperforming continents. Antarctica, explain yourself.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

They say dress for the job you want, so I walk around dressed like Darth Vader.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Maybe the reason you haven’t found your soulmate is because you don’t have a soul.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Women always want to marry intelligent men. What they don’t know: Intelligent men don’t want to marry.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

We should be able to go to the bar and drink to watch Love Island, like men do with sports.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Getting older means talking to less people and complaining about more people.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Probably the worst thing about the death of print media is the devastating effect it’s having on the producers of traditional ransom notes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,657

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

Hand sanitizer will find a cut you didn’t even know you had.

Just shared via Discord:

“Devil’s advocate” implies the existence of heaven’s prosecutor.

Freshly posted on Slack:

How long past date can I eat eggs? Like are they still good or am I naming them now?

Live now on WeChat:

Not enough rap songs about stores suddenly changing their layout.

Going viral on TikTok:

I am the opposite of artificial intelligence. I am authentic stupidity.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I am just a man, a man who told a woman to calm down, so I guess this is goodbye.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Have you guys heard of recency bias? I hadn’t, but now I’m seeing it literally everywhere. Must be a big deal.

Making waves on Instagram:

I’m not super into getting older but I do like how nobody asks me to help them move anymore.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Don’t tell me about your wild weekend. My TV remote died and I switched the batteries around, and now it’s working.

Going viral on WeChat:

The web is the only place where you encourage strangers to follow you. What could possibly go wrong?

The only Spanish I know is buenas noches, which means bonus nachos – like finding forgotten tortilla chips in your cargo shorts.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Finding bonus nachos in your shorts sounds like a spicy pocket surprise! 🌶️🩳🍟

bonus, bonus nachos, buenas, buenas no, cargo, cargo short, chip, chips, finding, food, food humor, humor, i, know, means, nachos, only, short, shorts, snack, Spanish, tortilla, tortilla chip

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Being a woman is trying to guess what the hell is going on with your body three times a week.

0

2 months ago

being, body, confusion, experience, going, guess, health, hell, humor, three, times, trying, week, weekly, woman
You’re 25, stressing like you’re 40, because you want to be rich before 30, am I right?

0

5 months ago

25, 30, 40, adult, age, am, ambition, before, financial, financial pressure, goal, humor, i, life, life goal, pressure, rich, right, stress, want, wealth, young, young adult
If we breakup because you “wanna focus on school,” I better see you in Harvard.

0

4 weeks ago

better, breakup, education, focus, Harvard, humor, i, relationship, school
Legend says that when you’re overwhelmed and on the edge of a nervous breakdown, a small child will appear and tell you that you made their sandwich wrong.

0

2 months ago

appear, breakdown, child, edge, humor, legend, mistake, nervous, nervous breakdown, overwhelmed, parenting, sandwich, small, stress, tell, wrong
Grok, is this true? Grok, am I original? Grok, am I the only one? Grok, am I sexual?

0

2 months ago

am, doubt, grok, i, identity, introspection, only, original, originality, questioning, self, self-doubt, sexual, sexuality, true, uniqueness
This time last night, there was a spider so big in my bathroom it put me under a glass on a postcard and carried me out.

0

2 months ago

bathroom, big, exaggeration, fear, funny story, glass, humor, last, me, night, phobia, postcard, put, spider, story, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on TikTok this month:

I eat my first meal of the day in the afternoon, bro. Don’t ask me for advice.

51 shares on Facebook this month:

I hope this email blows your head smoove off.

69 shares on Twitch this month:

I made the mistake of clicking on an Instagram ad for a flannel shirt, and now the algorithm thinks I’m a lumberjack.

99 shares on WeChat this month:

The person opposite me has a donut. I do not have a donut. That should be my donut. This person is now my arch nemesis.

28 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’d change my name to laundry if it meant you’d think about doing me every day.

84 shares on YouTube this month:

That stupid look on my face is my face.

82 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Silence is golden. But duct tape is silver.

35 shares on Reddit this month:

According to my chocolate advent calendar, there are only 4 days until Christmas.

13 shares on Snapchat this month:

When I was a kid, there were two ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

30 shares on Threads this month:

Only two things are certain: death, and Princess Diana’s face on at least one grocery store magazine.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Mouse in a conference call: hold on, I’m gonna put you on squeakerphone.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

I’m a big believer in not going to work on your birthday!

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

You ever meet an all-male friend group that is less a group of friends than it is “one guy and his henchmen”?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Airlines be like: “Oh, wow. Oh, God. We didn’t think everyone would bring a bag!”

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

My therapist said cutting people off isn’t healthy. She’s next.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

It’s important to get out of the house every once and a while to remind yourself of why you don’t go out.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

The toughest part of being a vegan is keeping it to yourself.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

The cynicism of those who urge me not to do what I can to help the Nigerian royal family.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Kissing while both wearing baseball caps is so hard. How do baseball players do it?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

Stop worrying if people like you. They don’t.

Spotted on Twitch:

Does anyone know how to lower the difficulty setting on my life?

Just shared via Threads:

Landlord: I’m raising your rent. Me: Am I getting a bigger house?

Spotted on Messenger:

Being a toddler’s favorite person is what real love actually looks like.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I love when my cat sighs at me, like what’s got you stressed out my little freeloading homicidal maniac!?

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I need a Netflix show called: “Background noise while you scroll on your phone.”

Just shared via Twitch:

When you are in your 20s, there is going to be an urge to binge The Sopranos. it is very important that you press play.

Trending via WeChat:

I love ordering things online because when they arrive it’s like a present from me to me.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

If you watch soccer backwards, it’s about 11 sad and 11 happy men who nag each other until they get along eventually.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Mid-life crisis? No, no, mid-day crisis. Something happens every day.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The only Spanish I know is buenas noches, which means bonus nachos – like finding forgotten tortilla chips in your cargo shorts.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Being a woman is trying to guess what the hell is going on with your body three times a week.

You’re 25, stressing like you’re 40, because you want to be rich before 30, am I right?

If we breakup because you “wanna focus on school,” I better see you in Harvard.

Legend says that when you’re overwhelmed and on the edge of a nervous breakdown, a small child will appear and tell you that you made their sandwich wrong.

Grok, is this true? Grok, am I original? Grok, am I the only one? Grok, am I sexual?

This time last night, there was a spider so big in my bathroom it put me under a glass on a postcard and carried me out.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨